This
past Sunday I had heat exhaustion, bordering on heat stroke.
One of the first things to go is the ability to assess one's well being.
It
was hot. It was humid. Temperatures were in the mid-90's F (35'C) and
climbing. My husband and I agreed that it was NOT a day to walk to
church. So we drove and climbed the stairs up from the parking lot.
At
the top, I couldn't catch my breath, but blamed it on the high-level of
humidity. Inside the air conditioned church, however, I still couldn't
breathe and my head spun. My husband touched my forehead and arm, noting
I was cold and clammy. But he gave me the final decision.
Usually,
I am very stubborn, especially with my own health. I don't want to be a
burden on anyone. I was also raised with strict lessons that one never
"makes a scene." Mass was about to start; we couldn't walk out now. My
pride shouted, "Soldier on!" Every moment of childhood upbringing called
out, "Don't make a scene! You'll bring shame to yourself and others.
This is a church; behave yourself! Just stand there and wait for Mass to
end."
I
wavered with indecision, but a more recent training kicked in. This is a
choice between pride and allowing God and others to help me.
The
decision was made as the room spun and I could barely comprehend what
others around me said. I looked at my husband with eyes that clearly
read, "Help me."
I
was seated in a nearby back pew, then he ran out to get the car and
bring it to the nearest door. I think I had lost all color as those
around me were mentioning something about my face. I had stopped
sweating suddenly; a bad sign, I realized in hindsight. But at that
moment, I was dizzy and trying to figure out what I had done wrong.
Guilt danced in my head.
Pride
wanted me to stand and fit in with the rest, but it was now broken. I
was following what the Spirit inside told me to do. Something is wrong;
let others care for me.
The
ushers noted that I didn't stand with the rest of the congregation but
instead sat with my head forward on my arm. When they came over, they
were concerned. I told them my husband was getting the car and they
insisted on staying with me until he got back.
They
thought I was keeping my head forward and focusing on breathing. The
truth was I was trying to stop people from seeing my tears. People were
gathering and whispering in the pews all around. Mass was continuing. My
pride shrieked of my guilt! I WAS MAKING A SCENE! IN CHURCH!!!! I
should be ashamed!!!!
But
then, someone touched my arm asking what they could do to help. I
looked up with a tear-streaked face and answered again that my husband
was getting the car to take me home. But when they asked again, I smiled
a wavering lopsided smile and added, "A prayer would help too."
That
was it. It clicked in my mind. Getting past the pride, I was opening a
way for God to help. I was opening a way for others to reach out to God.
Yes, they were in church for a Sunday Mass already, but sometimes the
real purpose of prayer is lost in the ritual.
I
prayed too, before and after leaving church. I was thankful too. God
had found a way to help break through my stubborn pride. And this time I
didn't need to pass out in order to get the point across.
The choice between pride and God is always there.
Even in the midst of a personal storm.
~ESA
Posts
I do hope you are feeling better now my dear friend. The temps here are almost unbearable this last part of July& now August. We are in hitting 108 and even 109 in central Texas where I live. I let my outdoors animals in the house most of the day. I try to keep the outside wet for the birds, squirrels. I have a small horse tub with water under a live oak in my pasture for the wood animals. I pray for relief from the heat. Man is cutting down all the rain forests and the majestic tall trees for something different. He thinks he needs to change the way of nature, and he has a better way.... Well, He is out of step with nature. The forests hold in the moisture. Man in his arrogant ignorance is stopping the natural running water, and deliberately polluting the land, air and water. He has lost Respect for Nature. If Man does not awaken from his ignorance, the earth will take him down. God placed man on earth to take care of it, but it looks like we have become the destroyer. The only thing I believe I can do is pray for understanding and help by telling others of the plight and to take positive action. The extreme heat I think is a strong reminder to change our lifestyles. We need to find God as a race, we cannot live without allowing him to guide us. God give us as a Race, the insight and desire to change to follow his Guidance and Way.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Muffyjo. There are good days and bad. But I hang on to God's hand and get through it all.
ReplyDeleteThough I eagerly await the first snowfall. I am a polar bear at heart. ;-)
In addition to heat and drought, we are also seeing increasingly violent storms. While twisters are common in Texas, they aren't the typical New England weather. We had one in my town last Friday, though they officially called it a "microburst." But anything that has strong winds (Level 2 Hurricane, per the official measure) and leaves a trail a half-mile wide by 2-1/2 miles long seems like a "tornado" to me. :P