Walking thru Fog

Have you ever driven along a highway and there's a wall of fog across the road ahead of you? What happens when you hit that wall that reflects your headlights back to you and obscures everything beyond it's edge? Is there a feeling of impact? Is there a crumple of car echoing through the murk? Does the vehicle stop or even slow down upon contact? Or is there nothing impeding your forward momentum?

Or do you, the driver, take your foot off the accelerator because you are temporarily blinded by the fog?

There are sometimes moments in life when something can impede forward progress in much the same way as that wall of fog. There are days when we believe what others think about us - how they judge our actions and responses - are in essence the real "me."

I grew up the "outsider" kid in school. No one would talk with me. No one would play with me at recess. No one would eat at the same table with me, unless they were forced to by a teacher who felt sorry for me. When that happened, piles of books and bags would separate me from them, a clear indication they were not really with me. I was rejected. I was something no one wants to be near. I was alone and unloved.

It has taken another two decades to undo what the first twenty years of my life ingrained into my thinking. I realize now that I am loved, that I am someone of great value. Those who do not see it, do not see the true value that I carry within me. I also know that NO voice in this world has the right to counter the Love I receive from my Creator.

God does not make anything worthless, no matter what this world may say. In fact, that which this world values - money, power, prestige and popularity - is of little real value.

With God at my side, I am never alone.

I will admit, though, there are still times when that very valuable lesson gets lost in the fog. There are times when people tell me I am worthless. Someone recently took a poll of his friends to convince me that his assessment of my worthlessness was accurate. Why would I take his words over another? Do I value the words of those who belittle my worth over the words of the One who made me and knows truly what I am?

There are days when I hit that fog and take my foot off the accelerator. I stare with eyes that cannot penetrate the fog. I give substance to that fog when I believe the words of another, even when they are not true.

Elanor Roosevelt once stated, very wisely, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Yet, I can still let myself be convinced that I am worthless from time-to-time. :(

I buy back into the "you are valueless, unwanted and unloved" messages again. I walk into the fog and stop dead on my own. The fog has no power to stop me. It's completely insubstantial. It brings moisture, such as tears to my eyes, but one can walk through it without a scratch. It only stopped me because I allowed it to stop me. I gave the condescending opinions of others the POWER to stop me.

Often we believe that there are only two choices: (1) We either accept the words - acknowledging that we are worthless or (2) we fight them, deny them, argue against them. In either case, we have given power to the lie, making it real and giving it some control over our lives and how we see ourselves. To accept is to make it real to us. To fight it... is ALSO to make it real to us. For would we fight something that is not really there? There is a third choice.

To ignore it completely. 

There is a great scene repeated a few times in the Naruto series. One character is a swaggering person of great skill but also great ego. There are times when this character tries to show how much greater he is than another, who is also known for great skill. He will swagger and boast and even try to bait the other into a competition to disprove the words. Then the other will turn to him and ask, "Did you just say something?" This takes the wind out of the other's sails like no amount of boasting or counter-attack. It rendered it completely insubstantial ~ like the fog.

Because I gave it, I can take that power to belittle me away again. I can walk through the fog and realize that the taunting words of others that are meant to cripple me... have no power over me at all.

The next time someone tries to make of me less than I am,
I hope I see the fog for what it truly is
And walk through it without a scratch.

- ESA

Please Don't Be Angry...

Those who know me well, know I truly enjoy rhyming on Twitter. There are days when I find myself too busy to tweet or write. But there are also other times I need to steer clear from Twitter because, inside, something is not right. While I am still not that comfortable sharing some inner struggles with my readers, this wanted to be shared...


Most of my readers are at least familiar with the Gospel accounts of Yeshua/Jesus the Christ. Many will agree that He loves all of us, even shared company with those who others believed were the dregs of society. He wept with some; He laughed with many. But He would get angry too...


The accounts that spring to my mind are times when His temper flared. He mocked, yelled, even trashed a temple market place. When I look back over the accounts, I find that Christ didn't get THAT mad at every person's sins / mistakes. What really fired Him up was when those who were called to bring people to God (or at least played that part in society), were not doing what they should. Instead, those people were lapping up the benefits of the spotlight, the best seat, the riches, the belief that they were the favored/chosen ones well above all, worthy to judge and belittle the rest. Yet they saw no blemish within themselves.

In a round-about way, that's what brings me to periods of silence on Twitter. I Love Yeshua/Jesus with all my heart. I don't want ANYthing to come between us, even my own stubborn stupidity at times. I understand the ramifications of taking on the twitter name of @JesusSister. While I love Him as dear as a little sister loves, admires, respects and wants to imitate her big Brother, I also know my place: that is OUTside the spotlight.

As any who are in the spotlight can tell you, regardless if it's the entertainment industry, political arena, office politics or even the family favorite: the spotlight feels good. Kudos and praise from others are very, very sweet, like a rich dessert. But like a dessert's calories, the spotlight has a price too.

When someone speaks on affairs of the soul, of God, or starts the path to uplift the spirits of another, we have a responsibility. We need to continue on a path that let's GOD shine - not us. It is so easy - so very, very easy - to be caught up in the euphoria of public praise, even just a few people's high-opinion, that we can start thinking ourselves above them, better than them. So very smoothly we transition from a voice guiding someone to the loving arms of God to the very same hearts and minds of the pharisee's that Christ raged against.

There are days such sweet praise encourages me to continue to share the blessings and nuggets. At the same time, I grow very frightened for I do not want to become like the Pharisee's or similar modern-day preachers and prophets.

• Wow wow wow, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you SO much : )
• TY, dear one. Lovely words, as always. You truly are a positive influence on many!
• I sooooo ℓσνє your poetic gιfтιиg. It cheers and encourages my нєαят. May God bless u in those spectacular of ways. ツ
• That was beautiful, TY!
• Sincerity of Heart in it's fervency demonstrates the Love of God for all to see...this you do Little Sister,this you do! :)
• Your tweet made my day and gave me hope, thank u sister
• You really know how to lift a sister up. ツ
• Ur words r divine......:)))
• she is smart
• Amen! And thank you for this.
• a message to the Soul so fair.. -you do the fine rhyme
• You have been blessed with the gift of being able to write what other can only feel but have no words for.
• caring heart, abounding in His Love!
• Love your tweets!! :)
• @JesusSister is such a blessing. Her poetical gifting is simply marvelous. Please #ff her.
• Please follow @JesusSister ... Follower her as I follow Christ..... #agape

I think the last one nails where I am trying to go with this. It frightens me! Glory & praise should be for God, not me. Yes, I do need the encouragement and I sincerely appreciate the kind words sent my way. I know they are from good hearts who are not trying to entrap me. Please don't think I am saying that.

But at the same time, I need to watch myself all the closer when such sweet praise comes. I can not lap it up. I cannot grow fat with it. I cannot sit in the spotlight for the Song in my heart that I sing isn't from me alone.

Humility.

I need humility so bad some days it hurts within and tears flow. I really don't want Christ mad at me. I love Him too much. The spotlight here should never be so sweet that I want it instead of Christ's smile. Instead, I turn to Yeshua/Jesus, away from Twitter, and wait patiently until the sparkles fade and I can sing notes clearly again. Without Him, all my words would be only to bring myself praise, and thus wither on the vine.

Without Christ, my Song will turn bitter
I see myself above brothers and sisters
Instead of beside them where I belong
Where Christ still is today...

- ESA

Good News

When we turn on the news, read the newspapers, listen to the radio, or check the latest happenings online, chances are there is bad news. A lot of it. In some cases, if there is any good news at all, it's likely to be some tiny micro-feature, while the more-horrific, more-heartwrenching news gets the most coverage. If it's bad enough, you'll hear about it for days.

In fact, it's a sure bet that if a winged unicorn landed in Central Park, starting farting rainbows so everyone there started to smile and laugh in joy, and there was a single pickpocket in the South Bronx (a neighborhood that has, sadly, seen a lot worse) -- and that was the ONLY news in New York City that day -- every single newsperson would be in the South Bronx covering the pick-pocket story. Our media LOVES to report bad news; that is what they tell us we want to hear...

How much of this non-stop bad news colors our perception of our world? We see so much criminal activity, heinous acts, violence, heartlessness, lies, cheating and down-right "evil" - in the hearts of all mankind. It's no wonder so many people are looking forward to the world possibly ending this December.

The truth is that while there is bad news, there is a far greater amount of good news. We just don't see it. We don't hear it. We don't tell it... If you had two bits of news - one good and one bad of equal weight - to tell others, which would come out of your mouth first? Unless we were trying to sell something, chances are the bad news would be told first.

Why not change that?

Why not share all the good news you find around you - everyday - and put dampeners on the bad news? Yes, there is bad news in the world, but what does it serve to share it unless you plan on doing something about it? If you are going to make a positive impact, share THAT news. Tell people how others have helped.

Following last year's tsunami in Japan, share the news that there was global turnout of aid and support. Recall how there was no looting or price-gouging immediately following the quake; or how the elderly volunteered to work at the damaged reactors to spare the young people the radiation exposure.

Following the devastating storms the US saw last year, how many times do we share the inspiring stories of neighbor-helping-neighbor, about people traveling hundreds of miles to rebuild towns? After a hurricane, the residents of a Vermont town that was completely cut off from the world met each day on the town green, went to harvest the fields by hand together, and had a community meal with what they gathered day-after-day until normal resources were back in place.

The more we focus on positive aspects of our lives, the more positive news we find around us. But if we continue to focus on the negative, we spiral downwards and close ourselves from our brothers and sisters, from our neighbors and see only an evil world. The world is our choice. Much of what we see, hear, and experience in this life reflects what our focus is on. If we focus on good news, we find many more blessings in our life.

Yes, that is true. Ask many a psychologist. Ask the One who made us. But if you still don't believe it; try it. You may surprise yourself.

Even the word "Gospel" means "Good News."

On Friday evening, I worked late and picked up pizza on the walk home. The local pizzeria was packed and the take-out line started at the register in the back of the dining room and stretched two-thirds the distance to the front door. The wait was over an hour. And yet... as I left after getting my pizza, I must have dropped my wallet. Someone spied it and gave it to the staff. One of the waitresses literally ran out the door after me shouting my name to return it to me, despite the crowd of people inside. No one complained; a few smiled. And I was very grateful for the actions of both the person who turned it in and the waitress. When I got home, I shared the good news. Despite the long wait for food, the evening felt brighter.

It's a new year; it's a new start.
Focus on the positive.
Find a better world.
- ESA

Green Rectangles (Humor)

This is from an email that was forwarded to me; I wanted to share it with my readers:

_______________________________________________________________________________

God and St. Francis were having a conversation in Heaven.

God: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles...

St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord: The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

God: "Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so Myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they turn these beautiful colors then fall to the ground to form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and shrubs. It's a natural cycle of life.

St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No!? What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They... cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore! St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about --

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

- ESA

Praise Reports

Following prayers, sometimes - though not often - I get praise reports. These are when someone reveals how a prayer was answered.

 Usually this is from some pastor who has requested prayers for another; sometimes by the person privately.

 Even the rare times I "feel" which way a prayer will be answered, there is always doubt in my mind. Thus I will say nothing to the person other than " I am praying for you."

When I first received a praise report where they called it "praise report." I had a jumble of emotions. First, I was glad; it was good news. Then I racked my mind to see if it matched the "feeling" I may have had when I prayed for that particular request. Honestly, I could not remember.

Then part of me argued boastfully, "I do not need to see these praise reports. If God wants me to know, I know. I know God hears all my prayers; that is sufficient!"

But another part of me - a part that was being more honest than boastful - quietly countered this. "No. I do need them. There is still a great deal of doubt in me. I need these praise reports as witnesses. I need some confirmation for the part of me that deals in THIS life existence to see. I need witnesses to testify that God does hear and answers prayers."
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It is a bitter pill for the pride in me to swallow, but it is the plain truth.

It's a part of being human.

-ESA

Prayers

When someone asks me to pray, I do so ~ often on the spot.

Unlike some, I do not raise my hands that pray aloud or use fancy words. Growing up, no one around me did that. At Catholic Mass we said the same prayers week-after-week, the same responses to the point of memorization. Even when we (rarely) said the blessing before the meals, it was a memorized prayer.

Then there were the really intimate prayers, just one-on-One communications with God, said quietly - silently - behind closed doors in your room.

Since childhood, I have seen other Christians "pray over someone" or "invoke the Holy Spirit" to action. Some of these prayers - though not many - sound like they are barking orders to God.

*Shudder* I don't know if I will ever become comfortable with that.

Then there are ones that I have heard pray aloud - humbly - and ask for God's help. Reverently. These are shining stars to me.

Not often, but sometimes I can feel another praying likewise silently in their heart, like soft, warm air flowing gently outward from them.

When I pray, for myself or for another, mostly it is silent. There are times I pray aloud, in song, in communal prayers, or shared prayers such as at meals with my husband, where we sometimes add things to the blessing, such as "please help those outside on such a cold night tonight."

When I pray for another, I take the time apart whatever I am doing and ... extend my thoughts to God. Then I reach out toward the person for whom I pray. Often I can feel some aspect of the person: vague emotions, such as fear, desperation, sadness, worry, flickering hope... It's not like I read minds; I just feel some small connection with the person. Then I pray - with them, for them - to God, asking for help.

Usually I request something specific, but I always ask that God's Will be done.

I know that sometimes that means the person is not going to get what (s)he wants. Sometimes there is something better in not getting what we want. I ask also that God reach out to the person, give Hope, give Comfort, give Patience, give Courage... whatever is needed in that moment. Sometimes it is also a matter of God reaching out to the people around that person, working through them and helping them as well. It is not easy for a parent of a young child to stand beside a hospital bed not knowing if their offspring will take another breath...Or if the bills will be paid.... Or if they will never see someone they love deeply again... Or that they can get through any number of life's trials...

So many prayers needed...

When I pray, sometimes, but not as often as I would hope to have, I can tell which way the answer will fall. Sometimes there is an immediate ... "feeling" (for lack of a better word) ... that the prayer HAS been answered. The person will get better; the teenager will come back home, the feeling of Hope will return, whatever the case may be... I just get this feeling that it has been accomplished.

Sometimes there is the opposite; it will not come to pass as requested, yet God will be with them and others to help them through this time in life. At times I will be aware of Yeshua / Jesus reaching toward their hearts.

Most times, though, when I pray, I get no response at all, save "fax transmitted successfully..." to use a contemporary analogy. I do not know the outcome, but I know with certainty that God has heard me.

I have also come to realize, without any doubts, that prayers do work outside of time. We understand things in a linear manner. For example, if there's a need, we hear about, pray about it and it's then the prayer is answered.
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Well, God is outside of time. So the prayer may be accomplished even before there is a need. Or we can pray after the answer has been witnessed, and our prayers will be heard and acted upon. So these things may not occur in the order we understand them.
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Thus if I receive a prayer request from several days ago, I still pray then. God works outside of time to answer it.




Yeshua / Jesus prayed the whole time He lived in this world with us. I have no doubts He still prays, even while we pray to Him.
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There is something special and spiritual in prayers.
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We can all access that.
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- ESA

Forgiveness and Fight

This post is predominantly a response to a tweet I received last night. I had tweeted a rhyme about forgiveness; the response was "Forgiveness in my heart towards my enemies, yes; with Love & a Pure Heart. Forgiveness in court for their crimes, no. #Justice" This initially left me with a lack for words; I realized a tweet was not going to accurately convey what I wish to say. So I will reply here.

One of my favorite sayings is "Humanity asks God why He allows all these bad things to happen; God may be asking Humanity the same question." We are no longer children; we have a responsibility: to help one another. Where there is darkness, we need to bring light; this applies to correcting social injustices, not just "bringing them the Word."

Then there is the command to Love one another and Forgive each other. Where does that apply? All cases, all times, all situations. Does that mean we let "criminals get off free" and continue the acts we are trying to stop? Not exactly...

Forgiveness works at a different level than the guilty/innocent determinations of the court systems. As any good lawyer can tell you, things can be manipulated and presented to the best possible advantage to your case - whether that is beneficial to all or just one. Court and the laws apply determinations based on he actions and consequences that have taken place.

Forgiveness involves the people. Forgiveness' primary function is opening doors, not drawing lines. We are asked to look into the heart of the person, not just the mind. We are asked to continue to love them, not let our anger turn into hate. When we look upon another with anger or hate, we see actions, not the person. We may not even see actions correctly. Lawyers aren't the only ones to manipulate; our emotions do this too. When we look through the eyes of hatred, we see an enemy: someone to hurt, someone to harm, someone to stop and PUNISH. With hatred in our hearts, our perception WILL be skewed; this is basic psychology as well as spiritually founded.

Instead we are called to love them, to listen to them and find the root cause of the situation, then follow through and find positive resolutions. This may include following through with the punishment, the consequences for their actions. But, very sadly, too many stop there. They punish the person and never follow through with fixing the social causes that lead to the action.

For example, in my town, there was a young man that was arrested, convicted and went to jail for larceny - three times in a row, one right after the other. Many who hear this fact would right away turn a cold heart toward that criminal. He obviously did not learn the lesson! He should be thrown in jail permanently! Right?

Now I will divulge some more information in this case. He robbed a supermarket - the same supermarket, the only supermarket in walking distance to his residence. He had no car. He did not rob the cashier; he was convicted of shoplifting. What did he take? The first time was a canister of baby formula. The second time was formula and some small jars of baby food. The third time was a box of generic cereal commonly given to toddlers.

Do you see the pattern?

This young man did not have a job to pay for the items. With a criminal record from the first conviction, he was likely turned down a number of times. But ... he was trying to feed his CHILD! Why did he have to resort to theft? There are social services in place for that right? Well... The first time someone applies for food stamps or assistance, they are turned down flatly - that's the policy. One actually has to know the "game" to use the right terms, fill out the right forms and follow up with the right people. If you don't know the game, you loose. And they don't publish the rules.

Then there are several other factors. There are no social service locations in this town. Public transportation between towns is rare to non-existent. Without a car, one cannot access them. Plus as a father (instead of a mother) it is harder for him to access the services needed to care for a child. It's not a policy; but, sadly, it is a practice.

I don't know what happened to this young man or the child. The local paper stopped reporting after the third conviction. Three strikes and you're out, I suppose... Apparently not enough people cared, for I have seen little changes in the local social structures except to close more locations in the state due to "budget cuts."

Is this the case of all criminal activity around the globe? Certainly not. But if we are truly to Love one another and Forgive, we are also responsible to find the root cause of the activity. Why does it exist? What supports it?

If we did not glamorize the criminal side in movies/TV or let our starlets, corporate heads or politicians get away with actions the minimum-wage workers would not, perhaps the lure would not be so strong. Plus I bet if one were to follow every possible line of connections leading up to criminal activity, they would find not only hearts feeding on greed and hatred, they would also find people who find themselves in desperate situations, ones where they see no other option BUT to turn to the criminal side of society.

Follow these lines; help the desperate. Pray for the Lost. Fix the problems. Too often we punish those we find guilty and sweep the rest under the carpet, forgotten... And like mold in a damp corner, it will only continue to grow into yet more problems involving more people.

We need to not only light the dark corners of our world; we need to open doors so others find another path, starving the serpent that feeds on them.

It is not easy.
But it is worth it.

-ESA

Lessons in Listening

Yesterday we drove out to my in-laws for New Year's Day. We took my husband's old mini-van, which - like my Jeep - has no working radio. So we filled the long drive with conversation. Part of that conversation, I wish to share here.

At one point, he changed topics and out of the blue says, "You know when you were praying the other day at your mother's, I went in and touched you on the shoulder. It was different than when I touch others when they pray or meditate. Usually there is a sense of peace. There was no peace in you."

I responded, "Well, that was right after I listened to a lengthy tirade from my mother (who spent a great deal of time griping about her neighbors, friends, family members and others), and I was struggling to get some of that negativity out of me."

He added that when I was praying, I was curled up in a ball. 

"Most people when they pray or meditate are open. You were closed, cutting off the world. When one is in an open posture, you are open to the universe and all that is in it, including other people. God IS the universe. But you were curled in a ball, cutting off everything. You were struggling, but you were also closed."

I was silent a moment, not sure how to respond and, instead of letting it sink in, I started to reply with how I was struggling to find some Peace after my mom's tirade. 

But that even sounded lame in my ears. Who was I fooling? No one apparently. He was right, I was cutting off everything, curling into my shell and hiding. Trying to struggle with the negativity by myself even while I prayed for help.

Where I had fallen silent, he added, "There is nothing wrong with what you have done. Turning to God in prayer and meditation is the right thing to do. But there may have been a better way to do it. That's all. While bowing your head low and being humble before God is a good thing, you also need to be open to God...

"Sometimes that means straightening your posture and raising your head, letting God flow into you and through you. Picture the lotus position some meditate in."

There was nothing I could do but agree with this. His words were right. But there was also resistance in me. Who did my husband think he is? Why is he taking a smarter-than-me stance?

Why did I not see until later that those questions - that resistance - was from my own petty ego? 

God works through me; God works through him too. God's Spirit (the Holy Ghost / Holy Spirit) works through everyone, helping us - and helping others through us - learn and grow. We are supposed to help each other; this is part of God's Plan.

I really need to learn to listen more and set my ego aside. Things would be much better in the end if I set aside "me" and listened to God's Wisdom when I encounter it.

-ESA

Resolution

I made one New Year's resolution many years ago that I've been able to keep - just one. That was to make no more New Year's resolutions.

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Does that mean there is nothing about me that I intend to change?

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Do I not want to loose the extra weight I carry around? Do I not want to become a better person? Do I not want to strive to do more to help my fellow human being in this world?

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Of course not!

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I just no longer wait until one particular day each year to try to change something about myself in a positive way.

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No one knows with 100% accuracy what will happen tomorrow. We can plan, certainly. We can schedule. But none of us "KNOWS" what tomorrow will bring - or even the next hour. So if I truly wish to make a change in myself, I have the moment right in my hands. This very moment, today!

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Now.

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Each day, each moment brings us a fresh new opportunity as pristine as the moment that occurred at midnight local time on New Year's Day. Why wait until the turning of the calendar to allow myself that opportunity and let all the others slip by?

Carpe Diem
Seize the Day
Seize the Moment

-ESA

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

New Year's Eve Tradition

There is a tradition I have had the pleasure to share at one point in my life. While I was in college, I was dating a young man who's parents are from the Dominican Republic. In my family, New Year's Eve was a time for parties and friends; I was either babysat (as a child) or was the babysitter in my teen years. I had not experienced a "family" New Year's Eve tradition until this.

Just before midnight, the women in the family prepared the glasses. They were cheap plastic champagne glasses, but that did not matter. Somehow we needed to fit 12 grapes into the glasses and then fill them with the champagne. At midnight, everyone drank the champagne and ate the grapes in their glass.

There were 6 green grapes and 6 red grapes. It was explained to me that this represented the good luck and bad luck for the year. Whatever life hands them, they took the good with the bad and trusted that God will work it all out in the end.

What a wonderful thought to start the New Year.

- ESA

I Love You

Interesting how three little words can make such a difference. When I was raised, "I love you" was reserved for two people romantically involved, and usually only in intimate moments. Yet, there was love all around: parents, siblings, children, grandparents, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, friends, close coworkers, even strangers that one helps.

Yet rarely did one say, "I love you" outside of romance.
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This holiday, I ran into many who have had a rough year, some - including myself - have even lost people dear to their hearts. As we exchanged handshakes, hugs and holiday greetings, I heard over-and-over another greeting as well: "I love you."

It felt strange; it felt good. It's hard to describe the complex feelings. It's good hearing one is loved; the reassurance is needed when life throws ugly things our way. It's good saying it to dear friends and family; we may not get the chance to say it again. Yet, it was so against the grain of how I was raised.

Why?

We should express our love. Yes, actions do speak louder than words; our behavior and actions should clearly state we love the person. But sometimes, life overwhelms our senses and we do not readily pick up on the body language or notice the kind gestures. Sometimes we really need to hear "I love you."

So...

I love you.
All. 

- ESA

2012 - The Final Frontier?

There is a great deal of speculation that the world will end next year, or that the apocalypse will happen. I can not say what the year holds; I truly do not know. I know 2011 was rough on many - vast numbers in areas of natural disasters, plus economic problems, changing governments, rise in international tensions, even very personal losses - ranging from home foreclosures to death of loved ones.

In my travels for the holiday, I do not think I have come across one person that didn't have some major loss (whether personal or part of a wide-spread disaster) this past year.

What will 2012 bring?

Many hope for the end; many believe they will be swept up in a rapture that will protect them from "hell on earth." Countless numbers wait with baited breath to see if Christ will return and the "evil ones" in our society will "get theirs." Sadly many hope for the end, for death's stillness seems more appealing to them right now than more of what they saw in 2011.

Tribulation is not "the end of the world;" it's a period of change. It can be as violent and traumatic as puberty. Yet, something more mature and a bit wiser rises from that. If we are in a period of "humanity's puberty" there are two things we need to keep in mind:

• We grow to become something better than we currently are. We have something to learn and need to change as part of it.
• We will continue; this is not the end..

While we enter into the new year, I have actually started to look forward with a positive outlook. I don't know if this will be when Christ returns. I don't know if I will see the Heavens and Earth dissipate and a new world begin. But I know we are taking some serious - and global - steps toward something new.

Change can be violent. Change can hurt. We may loose much - both in terms of personal possessions, ideals / goals, and thoughts / understandings. We may loose loved ones in this process too...

Yet, where we go really has a lot to do with our own mindset - each and everyone of us. This is not a "believe in Jesus and you will be saved" speech. This is practical analysis firmly grounded in both psychological and spiritual studies.

The more we are grateful for what we have, the more we value that which truly lasts - friends, family, connections to each other, love, and God. The more we value what lasts, the more positive our outlook becomes. The more positive an outlook we have, the more we can see our blessings and shake off our desires for material things and passing fame this world tries to sell us. The more we free ourselves from the fetters that bind us (a part of the Lord's prayer), the more we can establish further and stronger connections to the Divine and each other. The more we see good things in each other, instead of evil and enemies, the more we help each other become children of God. The more we help each other become children of God, only through mutual work, the more we become what God created us to be.

On the other hand, the more we focus on fear, the more we will fear each other. The more we fear each other, the further we become. The further we become, the less we understand each other. The less we understand each other; the more we see others as our enemy - lines are drawn. The more lines that are drawn, the more wars there will be. The more wars there are, the more people will suffer and die. The more people suffer and die, the more fear rises to our mind. And the viscous cycle repeats itself as the adversary laughs in delight at our misery.

Remember: Only together we achieve something far greater than the sum of our individual efforts; the adversary seeks to divide for that will block us from achieving God's will: being the Children of God.

In 2012, which will we focus on? Each and every mind DOES make a difference, despite the ego telling us we are too small; despite the world telling us we are not enough. We are enough - as long as we believe. God is with us. When we do God's Will; we will not fail, regardless of what we see with our eyes when the world resists the changes to come.

- ESA

Holiday Brake

Yes, I mean "brake" and not "break." Last night, I lost the brakes on my old Jeep. Some may curse and gripe that life threw them yet another (and possibly expensive!) problem to take care of -- during the holidays when they were away from home. Last night, I got down on my knees and thanked God and any of His workers that helped me yesterday.

My husband and I were picking up a friend of ours who was home-bound and driving to an inexpensive restaurant to meet a group of other friends we haven't seen in a year or more. On the way, I noticed my breaks suddenly went VERY soft, where I needed to press the pedal deeper each time I "tapped" the brakes in the traffic flow.

I didn't know if we were going to make it to the restaurant. Our friend, an elderly woman, was seated in the passenger side beside me. An accident, even a slight one where the airbag would go off in her face, would likely be lethal to her. We were driving after dark on Long Island; New York drivers - including myself - are atrocious as they cut you off suddenly, weave in and out of traffic and travel at LEAST 20 MPH above the speed limit - including local roads.

We decided to avoid the highway and I cruised -- what felt like a "crawl" -- along a main thoroughfare. I left a LOT of space before me, which only encouraged the other drivers to cut in front of me often. I coasted to a slow stop at each traffic light, annoying the drivers behind me.

I had my hand on the emergency brake the whole time. I apparently drive single-handedly quite well.

It didn't occur to me until just now, while I wrote that last sentence, how often I do that with my relationship with God. There are times when I fly by life, ignoring the limits even - or at least going "a little" beyond them. Yet, when something happens that I realize there IS real danger out there - I hold on God's Hand as tightly as I held on to that emergency brake. God is there, then and when I cruise with no concerns, just as much as the emergency brake that's been in the Jeep all along.

Needless to say, not only did we make it safely to the restaurant, we also had added blessings. A friend that takes public transit was able to find another ride home, as we could not take her as planned. Because others showed up at the restaurant, unplanned, they were able to take our passenger back to her place too. Plus a friend was able to help us get a tow back to my mother's house, much further than our AAA membership would have gotten us. We were grateful for these as well.

There are many blessings in life, sometimes we become too blind in our gripes of what went wrong to see them. Sometimes we also blind ourselves to God's Hand right there beside us in easy reach.

Yet, it is always there.

- ESA 

Convert!

Following Home for the Holiday blogpost, there has been a word bouncing around my head: Convert. I read a tweet where someone suggested I was trying to convert Jews to Christianity, which I denied. I still stand by what I said: I am not called to "convert." Yet what I should have added: I am called to SHARE!

One time at a large fair near us, I was curious about a group that had a tent with "Jesus" written in negative (where parts of the outline were in black and the letters were the same color as the background). Above it read a sign: "Can you see what it says?" So I walked up and said I could. They asked three more riddles, giving me the answers and then I was called into the presence of the woman in the back of the tent. She told me how I was saved by Jesus, how I should now confess all my sins, repent, read the Word and Believe! She read a passage from one of the four main gospels and then had me bow my head while we prayed together for forgiveness. Not once did they ever ask if I believed or was a fellow follower of Christ. Then she instructed me to write down something along the lines of: "Thank You, Jesus, for saving me and opening my eyes today." I, being stubborn, wrote down what was in my heart, "Thank You for the opportunity to take a moment from a fair, and turn to You with another in prayer."

The woman was outraged!

This was NOT what she wanted to see. She scolded me and said that she wanted me to write it over. She even crumpled it up and tossed it away! I noted the stack of written testimonials she had behind her. I refused and got tossed out of the tent. Why didn't I write the words she wanted? My eyes weren't opened that day; I was a Christian already. Or did my eyes open a bit more following that experience?

What I saw saddened me: sharing the Good News (definition of "Gospel") and Love of Yeshua / Jesus had become a ... video game. It was more important to score "points" by counting the number of people you "converted" than it was sharing what we are called to share. Even Atheists use the word "convert" when they convince another to believe as they do.

In complete honesty, I don't think God or Christ gives a fig what "religion" you are. How we behave, how we treat each other and how we work on our relationship with God are what gives us our measure in this life. 

Gandhi was a remarkable and noteworthy follower of Christ's teachings; he was also a Hindu! I have no doubt he is sharing in Christ's feast in Heaven among many others. 

I believe also that we are called to share. Yes, we can share the Word, but the actual tool we should use to teach is a far greater one: our example. Do we share God's Love for another? Do we reach out in compassion? Do we help another to their feet or step over them as we climb the mountain? Do we condemn another to hell (or wish them there) or do we forgive them and try to see some good inside them despite what the world tells us is there? Do we forgive another even when they don't apologize or "repent"? Do we divide what we believe are sinners and saints or do we Trust God, as Yeshua / Jesus trusted, and let God's Wisdom make the determination? Do we Love all, or just Love the people who we believe deserve our love?

We are not God; nor are we God's Judges. Why do we then continue to divide the world along religious lines and insist that if another is not inside our circle; they are to be condemned? The adversary seeks to divide. For only when we work together can humanity do far more than the sum of our individual efforts. God seeks to unite us; Christ calls us to be brothers and sisters - as ONE. Which calling are we following?

Instead of "converting", we should let God's Love flow through us, showing compassion to another. We should let Christ's Forgiveness flow through us, forgiving each other, where we truly find our own forgiveness. We should let God's Mercy be a light that shines in our actions. We should teach through example...   after all   ....politicians and salespeople use words.

Love one another.

Feed the sheep.

Forgive.

- ESA

Holiday Travel

While I travel place to place over this holiday and make even more plans for MORE travel to visit far-flung friends and family, a small thought occurred to me: a comparison of my own holiday travels to that of Yeshua/Jesus. Granted I don't know if Hanukkah was a holiday that involved travel of any great distances, especially in the cooler weather, I recall He did travel for Jewish holidays when possible, including a visit to Jerusalem for the Passover.

The gatherings and travel in those days may not have been that different from our own travels today, with the exception of less worn footwear:

• There were plans to be made well in advance of the holiday.
• Word had to be sent ahead that one would be traveling and would need a place to stay.
• Packing had to be done, and figuring out what had to stay back because it just wouldn't fit.
• Plans needed to be made for the business or work that would not be done while one was away for the holiday.
• Along the journey, there were "pit-stops", crying children, quarrels, laughter, and long conversations.
• Journeys done "in caravan" (a term we still use today) with family and/or friends were always more fun and easier to take.
• Sometime overnight accommodations needed to be made en route, because the longer journeys could not be done in one day.
• While traveling, one would eat meals with others around you who were complete strangers. One may even share a brief conversation with those seated nearby.
• There can also be moments of tedium when stories or games could help while away the hours.
• When one arrived, greetings from much-loved but little-seen friends and family rang beautiful in the ears. Hours would be spent "catching up."

When I was a child, we had long journeys to visit family on the holidays and we played traffic-bingo, I-spy, and word games such as naming places that started with the last letter of the last place-name mentioned. We had conversations and recalled stories of bygone days. There was also my parent's favorite game - "Who can stay quiet the longest?" (For some reason, I never won that game. LoL) We ate lunch in diners, restaurants or fast-food establishments, and stayed at hotels en route to the place. When we arrived, we slept on couches or sleeping bags on the floor; we stayed up half the night catching up with aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins.
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When I originally traveled solo by air, I would converse with fellow travelers both at the airports and on the plane. Now...
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I travel with my laptop and paperback to read. There are portable DVD players, smart phones, portable video games, and many more distractions. We do not talk with fellow travelers - whether they are strangers or even our own immediate family. Even during a visit, it's hard NOT to take some time to check email, go online, or get some work done. This is pretty sad as that is what connects us: these shared face-to-face moments together, retelling our past, planning our future, and meeting new people.
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Things are done so fast, so far apart, so ... separate...
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This holiday - and I need to do this too (considering I'm blogging on the breakfast table) - maybe we can all spare some more time re-connecting to those around us face-to-face, whether friend, family or stranger. Golden moments that can last across generations.
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- ESA