Healing

Some of you may have seen yesterday's tweets that I have no more pain. Some of those I've touched base with over my hiatus know some of what was going on. While I don't normally do so in this blog, I'd like to share with my readers what happened. This is a very real, and very personal experience.

Last summer, due to medical complications and high levels of pain from ovarian cysts and other issues with my reproductive organs, I had a full hysterectomy. While on the mend, I developed what many believe was the "routine" UTI (bladder infections) that follow a hysterectomy. I was given my dosage of anti-biotics and told to drink plenty of fluids, including sage use of cranberry juice.

The pain continued - and worsened - over the next few months. They kept giving me anti-biotics at increasing doses, even though the cultures were coming back negative. The doctors kept offering me pain killers, but I wanted to find out what was wrong, not just "be more comfortable." I went through a battery of tests and, finally admitting they had no clue, I was sent to a urologist. The cystoscopy, where they shove a pencil sized camera into my bladder was agony! I had no pain-killers at all in my system, and not even a "local" for the procedure. Despite what courage I could muster, I was howling with tears streaming down my cheeks every time I urinated for several weeks thereafter.

After more tests, the urologist finally diagnosed the problem: Interstitial Cystitis / Painful Bladder Syndrome (IC/PBS). While there are many possible ways to get this condition, mine was likely caused by the recent "trauma" to my bladder during the hysterectomy, where they had to "peel" the uterus from the bladder. It's also a condition that is often misdiagnosed, as mine had been, but not discovered for an average of FOUR YEARS!  I had mine discovered in three months, mostly because I kept insisting they find the issue and stop trying to give me pain meds to cover up the symptoms.

According to Wikipedia, it's a "chronic, oftentimes severely debilitating disease of the urinary bladder" and is officially recognized as a disability. While I wasn't about to leave work, I at least had the diagnosis and was ready for the cure.

There is none.

Apparently, this condition only worsens with anti-biotics, pain medications and a seven-page list (I wish I was kidding!) of foods, seasonings and other items that irritate a IC/PBS bladder. There was some bladder-friendly foods, though, and I needed to change my diet dramatically and promptly. This, unfortunately would mean months to soothe the bladder, and my diet would be an unhealthy high white-starch, low vegetable, no fruit diet. Yes, cranberry juice was at the top of the "Do not have" list, as was caffeine (even decaf), chocolate, fruits, spicy foods, and many other things I enjoy.

The diet commenced at the start of December; egg nog, Christmas cookies and chocolate were no longer on my list of edibles. In fact, with such a restricted list, plus having to run to restroom every 15-30 minutes to grit my teeth during frequent, painful urinations, I had to cancel all business travel as well. This condition was certainly disrupting my life. And I prayed each day to be healed. I still had to wait...

Starting in late January, while the pain was there but finally starting to ease, a new condition arose. My hands started to hurt, and the bones in my feet. Then my wrists and ankles hurt, feeling more and more like arthritis. I'm only 42! My knees took on a whole new kind of agony; in weeks I could no longer walk up and down stairs without taking it one step at a time while biting back cries of pain and clinging to the railing. Then my shoulders ached so I couldn't sleep at night. Finally my back and neck joined the chorus and I was in miserable agony all over.

I had no option of taking pain killers to alleviate any of this.

It was then that I reached out to some I know on Twitter, asking for their prayers as well. I needed help, and I was beginning to wonder if God was ever going to get me through this pain. Just a small doubt, but it was there. I needed my brothers and sisters to help me as my faith started to flag.

I have this image on a medallion around my neck. It's a constant reminder that I need to trust God. I need to trust Yeshua/Jesus. There was a plan in place and while I could not see it, I had to have a bit more faith.

It was discovered about a month later that the joint pain was caused by vitamin deficiency from my IC/PBS diet. Vitamin supplements were not allowed by the diet. I had a choice: break the diet by taking supplements or by eating prohibited food - both of which would cause more pain in the bladder. Either way I was in pain, but if I got rid of the joint pain, I could still work - heck! I could still WALK!

Given the body better absorbs vitamins via the food instead of supplements, I opted to re-introduce certain foods into the diet; this was a daily dose of orange juice. The vitamin-rich drink did wonders for easing the joint pain, but made me dread urination. It was a battle of what hurt more, urinating or the pain of a full bladder. The pain in my joints didn't disappear completely either, but I could still function at my desk job.

I continued to pray.

Ironically, white rice was on my "permitted foods" list, so I was able to have my 1-rice-ball-per-day-plus-dinner fast for the 40-day period of Lent. Near the end, I started to add a handful of peanuts to the rice ball as I started having tremors in my limbs. I continued the orange juice every-other day as daily hurt the bladder WAY too much to endure.

Then the day after Palm Sunday - the Monday of Holy Week - I was told to have some faith that all this pain would end soon. "Soon" is a relative term, my mind argued. So I was given something more specific. As it was around sunset that day, I was told give it one week - until sunset next Monday (day after Easter).

That Monday, I was still in pain. I had been "bad" on the diet, for I had eaten a few black jelly beans Easter Day, and added an even worse offense that morning: coffee so I could get through the very busy day ahead of me. My joints hurt from both the condition and scrubbing down the 10-burner kitchen stove at the church following the Sunrise Service breakfast. My knees were in agony anytime I needed to go up and down stairs and grumbled, popped, cracked and crackled as I walked. My hands hurt when I held a stack of paperwork or used the computer mouse too long. At the end of the day, I had also developed a vicious sinus headache that equaled a few migraines I've had. My left eye - my only good eye as I'm legally blind in the right - was squinted shut with the pain and sensitivity to light. My upper teeth ached, as I minced my way through dinner. Then I crawled into bed.

Through all this, I never forgot the promise that if I had even a little bit of faith in Him, that all this pain would go away. My mind argued, that if I was so bad with this diet, that if my joints still hurt so bad, plus this wicked headache on top if it all, how can I possibly be pain-free by sunset that day?

The words, "Trust me; just TRUST me," kept bouncing through my head. I lay in bed watching cartoons at low volume to try to distract my mind from the pain and quiet myself enough to sleep. I also prayed... and held on to the smallest scrap of faith I had left. My eyes closed to sleep just as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.

The next morning I awoke to a wondrous surprise - no pain! At all! There was no pain in the full bladder; there was no pain urinating! I was still half-asleep so I didn't realize right away that there was also no pain in any of my body - joints, limbs, head - anywhere! It was truly and remarkably ALL gone!

Tuesday, I had three (3) cups of coffee and orange juice - no pain! I could go up and down stairs without any issue! In fact, I could plant one-foot-per-step rather than both-feet-per-step as I had done. By the end of the work-day, I was practically dancing up and down the stairs in the office building! I attended yoga that night, where my knees cracked loudly once but had their full range back like I had when I was 20! In fact - the whole day was entirely PAIN FREE!

Wondering if this was some fluke, I waited until Wednesday. Again - there was no pain - anywhere! No matter what I ate, I could pee pain-free! I cannot express the joy of that simple blessing after so many months of pain. That morning, I started to sing on Twitter!

Thursday, there was still no pain, my mobility and range feel as though I'm once again in my 20's. My heart SINGS with joy and I wanted to reach out and connect with as many brothers and sisters as possible. I told a few that I had no more pain, the ones that knew some of what I've been through.

Yesterday, one of them sent out a praise report - and rightly so. This is something very worthy of a Song to God. I had been truly delivered from pain; I've been healed. There is no science or other means I can explain this. I will go to the doctors with the report, but I should also share this story as well.

Miracles do happen

With little faith

Like a mustard seed

- ESA