Summer Solstice

While I'm on a roll, I decided to post something a bit lighter. This past Sunday night, my husband and I attended a Summer Solstice celebration held by our local Audubon group.

Please note, that is NOT a live tree in the picture, it is a pruned branch stuck in the top of the woodpile. If they were burning a live tree, I would be protesting, not joining them.

The evening started indoors with music, song, poetry and readings, mostly related to summer, nature and hope.

Then we went outside where they lit the fire. Two baskets were passed around with Juniper sprigs. One would take the sprig, say a prayer and toss it into the flames. Immediately the flames tossed it straight up as it disintegrated into bright embers, rising well above the 20-foot flames. One could literally watch prayers ascend Heavenward.

I prayed for Peace in this world, healing for friends (and myself), Love to overcome and end hate, violence to end, compassion and mercy to be as common as stars overhead on a clear night. One-by-one, I watched the prayers rise to God, and I felt with certainty that God was there... LISTENING.

There was also a bowl of rosemary. One scooped out a small handful, thought about what they would like to remember from the past, and what memories one would like to create in the future. These too, where tossed into the flames, as if to give Light to those memories.

In the recent year of pain, I did want to remember the good days. Lately, I've learned to treasure them all the more.

I also prayed that I remember God, always - every situation, every moment. God always remembers us. It is something for which I strive.

Then participants linked hands in a long chain and wove our way around the fire and each other as drummers kept the beat. Vaguely reminiscent of the old Celtic traditions, this was a celebration of life, of summer, of community, of humanity, and of our relation with each other and the Divine - regardless of how each individual perceives the Divine to be. Everyone was welcome.

I especially remember a woman who had two autistic children. She confessed she usually avoided public events, as her sons might disrupt. But here, both parents and children felt welcome. One of the children even read his favorite poem; the group listened patiently with gentle smiles on every face -- not pity, but rapt attention and empathy of what the words meant to the reader.

When flames burned low, people went back inside to an assortment of refreshments and friendly chat.

Some, like myself, wandered back outside to sit quietly and watch the glowing embers. The flames were white with tips of orange at that point. One could see the ethereal fire dancing inside the large glowing coals.

As I sat silently, I would swear God sat down right beside me on the bench. I felt such a wave of Peace and Contentment wash over me. Tears slid down my cheeks.

When we are open to that relationship, when we are still and silent, God can touch our soul: A gentle reminder that no matter the past, no matter the future... We do not walk this world alone.

~ ESA

Celebrate from the Start

Often there are protests against abortion and attempts to make it illegal. Instead of "thou shalt not," what if religious organizations, instead, focused on celebrating life with ceremonies from the start? In this time where we globally celebrate the birth of Christ and the start of a new year, perhaps we should see how our religious communities, or even just friends and family, can celebrate the steps toward creating a family.

We can have ceremonies surrounding the parents - BOTH parents, when possible - during the period leading up to the arrival of the child for both pregnancies and adoptions.

There are highs and lows in both; worries and questions abound. But when we mark the steps with a ceremony, shared with a community, we are encouraged as we go.

One of the series I read has a "dead rabbit" party as a major cultural celebration. The whole community of friends and family not only celebrate the news, but also pledge their support to help the couple and this new child - from the moment the couple knows of its existence. Noting the first ultrasound and start of the second and third trimesters are also good points, as that marks the development and vitality of the child.

Celebration points for adoption can be:

• The approval of the perspective parents to adopt,
• Getting a place prepared for the new arrival,
• The first time a child gets to spend the night,
• When the child is officially cleared for adoption,
• The official court adoption, and
• When the child calls you mom/dad.

While many may not want to hear the news, almost 80% of first pregnancies end in a miscarriage. And the first successful pregnancy is no guarantee for those to follow. Sometimes the parents may not even know there is a pregnancy. Sometimes "viable embryos" do not survive. It is something that should not be swept under the rug. 

If they want to affirm that life exists before birth, religious organizations should also have a ceremony for miscarriages, as they have funerals for those who die after birth. It not only marks the loss in a meaningful way, it helps the parents and the community better deal with the grief.

When my husband and I miscarried, friends and families didn't know what to say or do, so no wanted to talk about it. Our church's only "support" was a suggestion to "try again." Four years later, we had to create our own ceremony (described here) to help us say goodbye, especially after we received news that we would never be able to have a biological child...

A ceremony for aborted as well as miscarried children says more than any picket sign. Not every one that is aware of a pregnancy may have agreed to its termination.

To truly show the Christian spirit, forgive the decision makers and invite them to the ceremony too.

"Miscarriages" can happen during adoption processes too. Not every adoption process started ends in an adoption.

My sister has gone through many steps in adopting a girl. Her family went through the approval process, had the girl spend the summer with them, and spoke to her via Skype at least weekly since. Then the adoption "fell through" just before the final plans were made for the girl to share Christmas with them.

Adoptive parents welcome a child into their hearts well before the child ever steps foot into their homes. When an adoption does not work out, there is a loss as keen as parents who have a miscarriage or have a child die.

Sometimes the simplest of ceremonies can help the adoptive parents through that loss as well, especially when the ceremony helps them realize that they are not alone... that they have a community to help support them.

Good and bad, we can commemorate the new additions to our lives.

Mark the steps.

Celebrate

Support

~ESA

May Day

What does Easter, May Day and Winston Churchill's funeral all have in common?

Soon after my brother's funeral a few weeks ago, my family celebrated Easter. During one of the Easter celebrations I attended, someone brought up Winston Churchill's funeral. Seven days later (yesterday) was May Day, or Belltaine in my Celtic roots. It also marked the one year anniversary since my husband and I performed a memorial to our lost pregnancy described here.

Other than the timing, they all celebrate a time of moving from death into life.

Belltaine is a celebration between the cold, dark winter days in the northern hemisphere and the bright summer season full of life and growth. Easter is a celebration of passing through death into eternal life. At Winston Churchill's funeral, as he requested, the last notes were not Taps, though that was played. But immediately following Taps, was Reveille ~ the song the military uses to get people out of bed and report ready to start the new day ~ meeting life with renewed energy.

While there are times things must end in life, and our hearts are saddened by their passing. there are also times when we must remember:

LIFE ~ GOES ~ ON!

We need to see what we still have, what is just starting, and where that takes us, away from darkness, sadness and loss... back into life!

Happy Easter
Happy May Day
Reveille!

-ESA