Share the Love

Valentine's Day has very much become a couple's or lover's holiday. Sadly, there are far many more hearts in this world that contain a great wealth of love, but are not part of a romantic couple.

Where I work, there are those who have very caring hearts, but not one has a special someone to share today's heartfelt holiday. Those that have kids, have children that are adults and long since moved out with sweethearts of their own.

These are only a handful of many, many more people who have been deluged with advertisements, mentions, and decorations for a holiday that they feel - quite frankly - left out. No one deserves to be left behind.

We should celebrate the Love in everyone's heart. I ask my readers to join me in some Valentine's Day mischief. 

We can leave a flower, some sweets, or even just a note with kind words. Even the simple words, "You are loved" can touch a heart like nothing else on a day like this holiday.

Like the card mentioned in my next blogpost, it can be unsigned. God loves them; sometimes they need to hear that they are loved. Nothing more needs to be said. :)

Please bring a bit of light into another's life today. Valentine's Day is a celebration of Love - not only a sweetheart holiday.

We all have love inside us.
Let's celebrate it
With all! :D
~ ESA

Little Flame (Poem)

 Written a few years ago, I wanted to share the full poem after I tweeted it in segments today. Please enjoy!
~ ESA
___________________________________________________________
Little Flame

I have a little flame

At the center of my heart

I know how it got there

God was the very start

 

One little flame

In a vast dark place

One little smile

That won't be displaced

Light a flame beside me

Hence there are two

It's now a little brighter

We know what to do

It could be a smile

Or a helping hand

All the different ways

As countless as sand

Pass on a kindness 

Or uplifting word

Light another flame

Against this dark world

Like little ripples

On the surface of a pond

Little flames alight

When the heart is fond

 Ever-widening circles

Spread the Light and Love

As our little flames

Reflect the One Above

Further and further

Light this shining ball!

One little flame

Can encompass us all

 

When the darkness comes

To blow our flames out

There is one thing that

It hasn't figured out

Within each heart

A little flame is found

And with a little effort

We can send it back around!

Driving Down Memory Lane

When I was a girl in the 1970's, numerous siblings crammed into our family car for hours to literally drive over the river and through the woods to grandma's house. Back in the time before car seats and even rear seat belts, let alone iPods and portable / built-in DVD players, my family played games like "I-Spy," "Geography" (where you name a place that began with the last letter of the previous place name), "Traffic Bingo" and one of my dad's favorites -- "Spot the Straightaway."

While I now understand it to be urban legend, my dad explained that President Eisenhower designed the US Highway System to have a mile-long straightaway without overpasses "every so many-miles down the highway," so a plane could make an emergency landing. While easy in flat open sections of the mid-west, we lived in the Northeastern US, where highways built in the 1950's and 1960's meandered around existing cities and large towns, as well as wove through rolling hills and mountains.

But if we were quiet (hint-hint) and observant, we would be able to find those mile-long stretches. As a reward, the observer would get a window-seat at the next pit stop change. Having been crammed in the middle of the bench seats (front and back), we all knew the value of the prized window seats.

Two weeks ago, a small plane landed on a normally crowded New York City highway. This is not the first time; this will not be the last time. But when I heard about it, I smiled and remembered the "Spot the Straightaway" game of my youth ~ years after my dad, and now one of my siblings, passed away.

The reason I share this particular drive down memory lane is this:

• Share the time we have with each other, we never know when someone will no longer be in our lives.
• Even when we don't realize it, life's trials and tragedies shape us -- like a highway cutting straight along mountainous terrain -- to prepare us for future emergencies.
• Be observant; while the US didn't intentionally plan emergency straightaways, God does. There may be crisis in our lives, but God opens up a place for emergency landings too.

~ ESA

From Tears to Tools

Two correspondents are dealing with judgmental people, in particular ones that feel that it is their right and responsibility to tell others how to live. Sadly, there are some who believe that if people do not follow their particular religious beliefs and/or practices, they are "damned." I've heard the frustration and tears from those attacked, and offer some tools.

To the Judges, remember: "Judge not lest you be judged." If you tell anyone else to toe the line of a particular law, YOU will be the one accountable for every law, from shellfish and polyester, to burnt sacrifices at the Temple in Jerusalem at the appropriate time and date. Instead, I plead with you: Love and Forgive. For in doing so, you are also Forgiven.

This post, however, is addressed primarily to those who suffer from judges.

We cannot change or control how another thinks or acts. We can only change how we respond to that person. I will acknowledge that this can be hard, particularly when that person is a friend, spouse, or family member. They know how to push our buttons, and can hurt us more deeply.

In every situation we encounter, there is only one decision that needs to be made: Do we want to share God's Love, or do we want to be right? One speaks to the spirit; the other to the ego.

When angry, frustrated or upset, we speak and act through our ego. Only an ego can talk to another ego, and they do not communicate at all.

The ego insists that we fight, defend, issue "pre-emptive strikes" in the name of defense, and that we are right and all others are wrong. My ego even had the gall to tell me that Yeshua/Jesus Himself is wrong! That's a pretty highly-inflated mindset we can have.

But we are not in our right mindset when we think like that. The ego is also how the adversary /devil/negativity influences our minds and skews our perceptions. So we need to learn to be more spirit-minded.

While WE cannot change a person's perspective, God can. Thus we should pray in the silence of our heart, and be patient, allowing God to work things out in Divine ways and timing. There's a much bigger picture than we see.

The reason I add "in the silence of our heart" is that people toss into a heated argument, "I will pray for you." Or better yet, "God make this person UNDERSTAND that (s)he is wrong!" Even with good intentions, this only triggers more anger and defensiveness.

We should also pray for ourselves; God helps us think with the right mindset (spirit vs. ego) when we ask.

If we find that we cannot get into the right mindset, especially if the other person knows just how and when to hit those hot buttons, there is another simple tactic we can use.

We need to see the other person through God's eyes. Our ego tells us they are wrong, judgmental, rude, etc. Our spirit sees that at least one perception has been skewed; perhaps both, as it takes two to argue.

God looks upon the person and sees a beloved son or daughter.

While the image to the left comforts when we face life's challenges, it can also be a tool. When someone hurts, angers or frustrates us, we can picture that person in God's arms too.

It's amazing how this changes heart, mind and perspective.

The human mind is capable of a lot more than most understand. We can use it to harm one another, or help one another. We choose between spirit-mindset and ego-mindset.

When someone attacks me, saying how their way is the only way, I try to step back and see how God views this person. They are loved. They may be perceiving through the ego at the moment. But they are loved. So I offer my prayers to God and love to that person.

Let go; Let God
It's in better Hands
~ESA

Elementary, Mr. Watson

Today my husband and I attended our first Men on the Tor event. It's a group that enjoys the Sherlock Holmes stories written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, one of my husband's favorite authors.

Today's event was at a State Park called "Devil's Hopyard" but the devil seemed to be quite far. The sky was so clear that near the end of the event the coordinator pointed to the only wispy cloud that marred the blue dome overhead - the only cloud seen the whole time.

While we sat with the group at the picnic, I was prompted to look around and really take it all in. Sherlock Holmes was known for his keen observation, after all.

There were many people in the park: hiking, biking, playing catch, eating, running, playing, laughing... even romancing.

There was life all around, from giggling toddlers to smiling seniors. I even saw a middle-aged woman drawing with chalk on the pavement.

When Christ lived here, He was aware of all around Him; children brought Him delight.

I had a smile moment too, when one barged into the toilet with a broken lock. Without embarrassment, she simply closed the door and called to her mom that there was some lady in there. The sweetness of innocence. :D

On Monday I need to be in the office at 6:30 am to move all the furniture back and rewire the office after the painters came through this weekend. Then I have a long work day after that. 

All too quickly, this world with its responsibilities, schedules, requirements and demands intrudes into our Peace.

How do we deal with it all?

Elementary, my dear. Take the time to refresh ourselves. Even if we cannot visit distant parks between meetings, we can still take a five-minute break in prayer ~ anywhere.

God can deliver some of that refreshment to the place where we are ~ anytime.

And God doesn't expect tips.

~ ESA

Little Flame (Poem)

+ + +

I have a little flame

At the center of my heart

I know how it got there

God was the very start

+ + +

One little flame

In a vast dark place

One little smile

That won't be displaced

+ + +

 Light a flame beside me

Hence there are two

It's now a little brighter

We know what to do

+ + +

It could be a smile

Or a helping hand

All the different ways

As countless as sand

+ + +

Pass on a kindness

Or uplifting word

Light another flame

Against this dark world

+ + +

Like little ripples

On the surface of a pond

Little flames alight

When the heart is fond

+ + +

Ever-widening circles

Spread the Light and Love

As our little flames

Reflect the One Above

+ + +

Further and further

Light this shining ball!

One little flame

Can encompass us all

+ + +

+ + +

+ + +

 

When the darkness comes

To blow our flames out

There is one thing that

It hasn't figured out

+ + +

Within each heart

A little flame is found

And with a little effort

We can send it back around!
+ + +

- ESA

Egg Hunt - Take 2

A few years ago when my nieces and nephew had become teenagers, my sister-in-law embarked on a major change in their Easter morning tradition. Instead of hiding plastic eggs with candy or coins, she decided to hide something more meaningful to them - their electronics! She pilfered their cell phones, remotes, hand-held games, iPods, computer mouse, ... everything that made noise, took batteries and otherwise left them lost in their own world.

Her initial intent was to give herself some peace and quiet Easter morning while the kids hunted down their hidden "treasures." With three kids and a husband serving in the military overseas, she needed the treasured quiet too.

But the family quickly discovered the joy of spending face-to-face time together - away from the electronic distractions. More and more often, I hear how people "unplug" from the internet and mobile devices, discovering the benefits of slowing down their life, interacting with others face-to-face, and watching the sunset or sunrise in person.

This was the first time in their young lives my nephew and nieces were truly unplugged, and they discovered - after the traumatic and melodramatic withdrawal from technology - they enjoyed spending time with each other ~ offline.

Perhaps that is an Easter tradition many should start. Hide the technology and enjoy the blessings.

Happy Hunting!
Happy Easter
Blessings to you all!

- ESA

Big Dig

I know these pictures are from two years ago, but it was a busy weekend. We went from bare ground to between 32" and 40" practically overnight. Our apartment complex looked very much like these images.

In a 181-unit  complex, our two maintenance workers were overwhelmed. But from before sunrise, neighbor helped neighbor dig each other out.

Starting 5am Saturday morning, while winds howled and the storm continued to dump an obscene amount of snow, the big dig began. A young nurse and her husband shoveled a 30-foot path from their door, down a completely covered driveway to the street, where she was to meet a co-worker with four-wheel drive to get to the hospital.

Most residents were literally trapped inside the buildings; the three-foot snowfall prevented the door opening outward. A few lucky ones literally squeezed their way out and then went door-to-door -- wading through waist deep snow -- to dig out the rest.

Once most people were outside, they dug steps and sidewalks, linking four-foot deep trenches to each other. Then we approached the parking lot, and stood in awe. There were no side-panels, side-mirrors, wipers or even antennas visible; the snow mounds made it impossible to differentiate sedan from mini-van. So we all pitched in shoveling out each other, making bets as to whose vehicle lay underneath the next pile.

It wasn't just the "strong young bucks" that were out shoveling. From children, to pregnant women, to retirees in their 70's, many turned out to shovel, clearing snow from steps, walkways and vehicles. Those who could not, offered hot chocolate and soup to the workers. I believe it's times like this that illustrates why these folk are known as "hardy New Englanders."

By late afternoon, heavy-construction equipment rolled through to move some of the snow. The bucket-loader widened the narrow trench down the driveway, but we were left digging through literal walls of snow - seven feet wide by six foot high - with snow shovels. By Sunday night, long past sunset, people were still shoveling, identifying and freeing the vehicles for those required to report to work the next morning. For those whose vehicles which were hopelessly trapped behind mountainous snow mounds piled over 15 feet high, offers sprang up for rides to and from work until their vehicle was freed.

While there may be stories of sadness, inconvenience and frustration following any major storm, there are also beautiful opportunities to help each other too.

Does anyone else have similar stories to share?

~ ESA

Celebrate from the Start

Often there are protests against abortion and attempts to make it illegal. Instead of "thou shalt not," what if religious organizations, instead, focused on celebrating life with ceremonies from the start? In this time where we globally celebrate the birth of Christ and the start of a new year, perhaps we should see how our religious communities, or even just friends and family, can celebrate the steps toward creating a family.

We can have ceremonies surrounding the parents - BOTH parents, when possible - during the period leading up to the arrival of the child for both pregnancies and adoptions.

There are highs and lows in both; worries and questions abound. But when we mark the steps with a ceremony, shared with a community, we are encouraged as we go.

One of the series I read has a "dead rabbit" party as a major cultural celebration. The whole community of friends and family not only celebrate the news, but also pledge their support to help the couple and this new child - from the moment the couple knows of its existence. Noting the first ultrasound and start of the second and third trimesters are also good points, as that marks the development and vitality of the child.

Celebration points for adoption can be:

• The approval of the perspective parents to adopt,
• Getting a place prepared for the new arrival,
• The first time a child gets to spend the night,
• When the child is officially cleared for adoption,
• The official court adoption, and
• When the child calls you mom/dad.

While many may not want to hear the news, almost 80% of first pregnancies end in a miscarriage. And the first successful pregnancy is no guarantee for those to follow. Sometimes the parents may not even know there is a pregnancy. Sometimes "viable embryos" do not survive. It is something that should not be swept under the rug. 

If they want to affirm that life exists before birth, religious organizations should also have a ceremony for miscarriages, as they have funerals for those who die after birth. It not only marks the loss in a meaningful way, it helps the parents and the community better deal with the grief.

When my husband and I miscarried, friends and families didn't know what to say or do, so no wanted to talk about it. Our church's only "support" was a suggestion to "try again." Four years later, we had to create our own ceremony (described here) to help us say goodbye, especially after we received news that we would never be able to have a biological child...

A ceremony for aborted as well as miscarried children says more than any picket sign. Not every one that is aware of a pregnancy may have agreed to its termination.

To truly show the Christian spirit, forgive the decision makers and invite them to the ceremony too.

"Miscarriages" can happen during adoption processes too. Not every adoption process started ends in an adoption.

My sister has gone through many steps in adopting a girl. Her family went through the approval process, had the girl spend the summer with them, and spoke to her via Skype at least weekly since. Then the adoption "fell through" just before the final plans were made for the girl to share Christmas with them.

Adoptive parents welcome a child into their hearts well before the child ever steps foot into their homes. When an adoption does not work out, there is a loss as keen as parents who have a miscarriage or have a child die.

Sometimes the simplest of ceremonies can help the adoptive parents through that loss as well, especially when the ceremony helps them realize that they are not alone... that they have a community to help support them.

Good and bad, we can commemorate the new additions to our lives.

Mark the steps.

Celebrate

Support

~ESA

Big E

To many, "The Big E" simply may mean an over-sized letter of the alphabet. But to those in this corner, September brings a unique fair. New England is made up of six States: Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. The Big E is a combination of a State Fair for all six New England states, and a small version of a world's fair. It has exhibits, vendors and performances from around the world.

This post is not to advertise The Big E - they certainly do enough advertising themselves. But I did want to share what it means to my husband and I. For a lengthier description of all the stuff I look forward to each year, please see my earlier post from two years ago.

For the past dozen years, we've attended this fair several days each year, often purchasing a season pass for the 17-day long event. The majority of the time is spent catching up with many vendors, performers, volunteers and others we see year-after-year. For us, it's a reunion.

There is a broomsquire that hand-crafts brooms, using broom straw he harvests himself, working in one corner of the village green of the colonial village within the fair grounds. In 2009, when he didn't make his appearance, many were concerned and called him up. You'd be amazed how much it feels like family.

There are many happy moments too, my husband and I somehow were roped into an exhibition to support local farms of CT. While my husband is the chef at home, here I am making breakfast for strangers one Saturday. How do you like your omelet?

And just because I have officially taken a vacation day to attend opening Friday doesn't mean my boss can't schedule a conference call. Yet today we now have the technology to take calls from anywhere, including the fair grounds. I laugh with this shot, commenting that I put up with the work "bull -- well you know" even on my vacation  - and I have pictures to prove it!

 

 

At the close of The Big E, one of our traditions is to attend Sunday Mass under the Big Top, which I've blogged about here.

Tomorrow is opening day, and my husband and I look forward to seeing our many friends again. So with a smile, I share a simple video that shows several snapshots the year I went ga-ga with the camera, trying to capture every little moment. Did you know you can grow pumpkins large enough to be boats?

 Nowadays, I leave the camera home and capture the moments with my heart.

Happy Fall!

~ESA

 

Images: all are mine.