Celebrate from the Start

Often there are protests against abortion and attempts to make it illegal. Instead of "thou shalt not," what if religious organizations, instead, focused on celebrating life with ceremonies from the start? In this time where we globally celebrate the birth of Christ and the start of a new year, perhaps we should see how our religious communities, or even just friends and family, can celebrate the steps toward creating a family.

We can have ceremonies surrounding the parents - BOTH parents, when possible - during the period leading up to the arrival of the child for both pregnancies and adoptions.

There are highs and lows in both; worries and questions abound. But when we mark the steps with a ceremony, shared with a community, we are encouraged as we go.

One of the series I read has a "dead rabbit" party as a major cultural celebration. The whole community of friends and family not only celebrate the news, but also pledge their support to help the couple and this new child - from the moment the couple knows of its existence. Noting the first ultrasound and start of the second and third trimesters are also good points, as that marks the development and vitality of the child.

Celebration points for adoption can be:

• The approval of the perspective parents to adopt,
• Getting a place prepared for the new arrival,
• The first time a child gets to spend the night,
• When the child is officially cleared for adoption,
• The official court adoption, and
• When the child calls you mom/dad.

While many may not want to hear the news, almost 80% of first pregnancies end in a miscarriage. And the first successful pregnancy is no guarantee for those to follow. Sometimes the parents may not even know there is a pregnancy. Sometimes "viable embryos" do not survive. It is something that should not be swept under the rug. 

If they want to affirm that life exists before birth, religious organizations should also have a ceremony for miscarriages, as they have funerals for those who die after birth. It not only marks the loss in a meaningful way, it helps the parents and the community better deal with the grief.

When my husband and I miscarried, friends and families didn't know what to say or do, so no wanted to talk about it. Our church's only "support" was a suggestion to "try again." Four years later, we had to create our own ceremony (described here) to help us say goodbye, especially after we received news that we would never be able to have a biological child...

A ceremony for aborted as well as miscarried children says more than any picket sign. Not every one that is aware of a pregnancy may have agreed to its termination.

To truly show the Christian spirit, forgive the decision makers and invite them to the ceremony too.

"Miscarriages" can happen during adoption processes too. Not every adoption process started ends in an adoption.

My sister has gone through many steps in adopting a girl. Her family went through the approval process, had the girl spend the summer with them, and spoke to her via Skype at least weekly since. Then the adoption "fell through" just before the final plans were made for the girl to share Christmas with them.

Adoptive parents welcome a child into their hearts well before the child ever steps foot into their homes. When an adoption does not work out, there is a loss as keen as parents who have a miscarriage or have a child die.

Sometimes the simplest of ceremonies can help the adoptive parents through that loss as well, especially when the ceremony helps them realize that they are not alone... that they have a community to help support them.

Good and bad, we can commemorate the new additions to our lives.

Mark the steps.

Celebrate

Support

~ESA

Prayer for the Protesters

As tensions grow, violence erupts. The scenes from Oakland are tragic and could spur open hatred.

On the other hand, watching Survivor last night, I saw prayer helped one team snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. So I had shared the prayer below with the Movement this morning.

As things continue to escalate, perhaps starting protest gatherings - or even each day - with a simple prayer can help those involved keep some important aspects in mind through the course of events.

The following is a simple prayer designed as an inter-faith request:

We gather here today, with peaceful intentions in our heart.
We ask that we receive wisdom and guidance from the start.
We ask on this day, we set aside greed and hate,
For it is a better world that we try to create.
We ask for inner guidance; let nothing be hurled,
For we are a peaceful group seeking a better world.
(~Anonymous)

Please share; a prayer may make a huge difference.

- ESA

Over the Wall (True Story)

With recent news from the Walk On Wallstreet/99% Movement, there is an old story that came to mind. It is a true story dating back to either the 1940's or 1950's in New York City's Central Park. My grandfather was a "cop" who literally walked the beat in those days. I do not know if he was part of the following event, or heard about it in his precinct. But the event is reported as true... and not that uncommon an occurrence (at least in those days).

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Late one night, two cops were walking the beat along the perimeter of their precinct in Central Park. One of the boundaries between two precincts was this wall that reached just over their heads. Huddled at the foot of this wall, the two cops found a homeless man, wrapped in layers of all the clothes he had with his meager possessions piled around him. They could tell from the snow falling on him, that the man was dead, and the body cooling. His passing must not have happened that long ago as rigor mortis had not yet set in.

The two cops held a quick consultation about what to do. The protocol was to bring the body back to the police house and process it. However, tonight was Christmas Eve and their shift was just ending. If they brought in the body now, they would be there for HOURS filling out all the paperwork, waiting to see if anyone would I.D. the body, and so on. Kids would be waking up early to unwrap presents and wives were waiting at home. There was no time for this.

So one took the shoulders and the other took the feet and, together, they tossed the homeless man's body over the wall into the other precinct.

Well, it just so happened that on the other side of the wall, two other cops were also walking the beat. There was a cry of protest. A scuffling. And a moment later, the homeless man's body was seen sailing over the wall back into their precinct. The others didn't want to extend their shift either.

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Some may find this funny. I know my dad did. He would laugh as he told it, often after drinking a bit too much. When we were kids, he taught my siblings and I to laugh at this too.

Now I find it deplorable!

This was a man - a fellow human being - who died cold and alone on Christmas Eve! They callously threw this man's body back and forth over the wall like an overstuffed ping-pong ball.

I do not know what my readers think when they observe the recent protests. It also doesn't matter if you side with them or not. I hope you, like I, take this as an opportunity to take a good hard look at how we treat others around us, particularly the BOTTOM 1%.

What would you have done on that Christmas Eve?

Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

Do not do unto others as you would not have done unto you.

Whatsoever you do to the least of these, that you do unto me.

- ESA