Beneath the Cover

In 14 years of Human Resources, I've collected my share of stories about candidate interviews.

I've seen a job applications completed in lipstick, eye liner and even a green crayon, despite there being pens in the reception area.

I've had a young man take out his cell phone, initiate a call to his friend, have a 20 minute conversation (during a 30 minute interview), and then ask if he got the job.

But the most memorable is the following story:

As a Recruiter at one company, I found the perfect candidate for an managerial position. Every one of the senior staff agreed after several phone interviews. His references were top notch. We hired him and asked when he could start.

The Texan said he and his wife could be in Connecticut to start his job Monday. They arranged for a local hotel to stay until they found a place, and headed out.

Monday came; the new hire didn't show.

He didn't call.

He didn't answer his cell phone.

On Tuesday, he was still a "no show."

By Wednesday, I had no choice. I called the "Number 2" candidate and gave him the job.

We all wondered what happened to the first choice. In the end, we concluded that he got a better offer elsewhere and we would never hear from him again.

Nearly a month later, the receptionist transfers a call into my office. "It's the no-show asking if the job is still open."

I was a little irked that he had the nerve to call after all this time of silence. I used my "official HR" voice to explain that since he didn't show, nor call, nor answer his phone, we gave the job to someone else. 

Then he told me why he didn't show that Monday...

Somewhere in Virginia, on the drive from Texas to Connecticut, his car was struck in a head-on collision with a truck. He had been in a coma all this time. His wife is still in the hospital.

He had the paperwork from the police, doctors and hospital ready to testify this was the absolute truth.

Now that he was out of work with massive amounts of medical bills, he was willing to take any job. It didn't have to be the manager's position, just any job to help pay the bills. I could hear him choke up begging me for a job.

Unfortunately, I had no job to give him...

There are times when we hear something completely different than what we expect to hear. We go into a situation belieiving we know the whole story.

There could be a different story beneath the cover.

What is under the cover

Of each person we find

Take time to listen

To find story behind

~ESA

Sorry Excuses

There have been many times in my life when I've used excuses. Some were legitimate excuses, "I'm late; I was in car accident on my way here." Others were lame excuses I either used to get out of something or to placate someone.

The lame excuses arise because I’m ashamed. The shame stems from the realization that I acted poorly, did something wrong, or didn't do something I should have done. "No, boss, I didn't do the work you assigned me; I was busy with something else," is an excuse I'd often use after I was caught chatting with a friend or playing a game instead of doing real work.

Sadly, this is something that is not only prevalent in society, but it can even be celebrated when one who is very skilled at coming up with creative excuses is praised. Be it so; it's still wrong. The excuse only hides the shame; the shame is still there, buried. One way or another, we will eventually have to face the reality of WHY we did or did not do things, and the shame will spring up in our faces unexpected, raw and even painful.

In addition, lame excuses hide the real reasons we do things. This means we cannot learn or grow from the experience. We continue doing what we should be ashamed of doing. For example, I continued to chat with friends and play computer games instead of getting the work I should be doing done first. It nearly cost me my job, but I continued to lie to myself with these excuses, and that hid the reality that I had a problem. I did not learn until my job was threatened and then reality came crashing in like a ton of bricks.

Even more recently, I've also discovered that good acts can be used as lame excuses. For example, at one point I was taking the time to help one friend through withdrawal, consoling someone else, and working on a project for a third. Then I bit someone's head off. I said, "Sorry, but I'm helping one friend through withdrawal, consoling someone else, and working on this project. That is the reason I bit your head off."

At first, this appears like it's a legitimate excuse, like the car accident above. But let's look at this from a different perspective. I was doing all three things independently and without anyone's awareness save the people directly involved. These were good works I had been doing in secret. But because I now used them as an excuse, only for the sake of alleviating the shame I felt, I had trumpeted those good works (see below) trading all of the value of what I had done for the mere patch to cover that bit of shame I felt.

On Twitter @Jesus_ posted a nugget of wisdom: "Just say sorry, don't complicate the matter by using excuses." I can see now, why that is true. Christ also mentioned that we should simply say "yes" or "no" and everything beyond that is of the evil one (Matthew 5:37) who can use it to advantage. The same can be said of said of apologies; simply say "sorry." What advantage does the evil one have with a few extra words? Evidently from the case described above, those extra words cost me the value of the good works as I have called the spotlight to them.

In our world, we're tempted to add "but" followed by whatever we can think of that will cover our shame or placate the recipient of the words - even if the recipient only ourselves.

Don't complicate the matter by using excuses.
Don't give away good works.
Keep it simple.

-ESA