There have been many times in my life when I've used excuses. Some were legitimate excuses, "I'm late; I was in car accident on my way here." Others were lame excuses I either used to get out of something or to placate someone.
The lame excuses arise because I’m ashamed. The shame stems from the realization that I acted poorly, did something wrong, or didn't do something I should have done. "No, boss, I didn't do the work you assigned me; I was busy with something else," is an excuse I'd often use after I was caught chatting with a friend or playing a game instead of doing real work.
Sadly, this is something that is not only prevalent in society, but it can even be celebrated when one who is very skilled at coming up with creative excuses is praised. Be it so; it's still wrong. The excuse only hides the shame; the shame is still there, buried. One way or another, we will eventually have to face the reality of WHY we did or did not do things, and the shame will spring up in our faces unexpected, raw and even painful.
In addition, lame excuses hide the real reasons we do things. This means we cannot learn or grow from the experience. We continue doing what we should be ashamed of doing. For example, I continued to chat with friends and play computer games instead of getting the work I should be doing done first. It nearly cost me my job, but I continued to lie to myself with these excuses, and that hid the reality that I had a problem. I did not learn until my job was threatened and then reality came crashing in like a ton of bricks.
Even more recently, I've also discovered that good acts can be used as lame excuses. For example, at one point I was taking the time to help one friend through withdrawal, consoling someone else, and working on a project for a third. Then I bit someone's head off. I said, "Sorry, but I'm helping one friend through withdrawal, consoling someone else, and working on this project. That is the reason I bit your head off."
At first, this appears like it's a legitimate excuse, like the car accident above. But let's look at this from a different perspective. I was doing all three things independently and without anyone's awareness save the people directly involved. These were good works I had been doing in secret. But because I now used them as an excuse, only for the sake of alleviating the shame I felt, I had trumpeted those good works (see below) trading all of the value of what I had done for the mere patch to cover that bit of shame I felt.
On Twitter @Jesus_ posted a nugget of wisdom: "Just say sorry, don't complicate the matter by using excuses." I can see now, why that is true. Christ also mentioned that we should simply say "yes" or "no" and everything beyond that is of the evil one (Matthew 5:37) who can use it to advantage. The same can be said of said of apologies; simply say "sorry." What advantage does the evil one have with a few extra words? Evidently from the case described above, those extra words cost me the value of the good works as I have called the spotlight to them.
In our world, we're tempted to add "but" followed by whatever we can think of that will cover our shame or placate the recipient of the words - even if the recipient only ourselves.
Don't complicate the matter by using excuses.
Don't give away good works.
Keep it simple.
-ESA
The lame excuses arise because I’m ashamed. The shame stems from the realization that I acted poorly, did something wrong, or didn't do something I should have done. "No, boss, I didn't do the work you assigned me; I was busy with something else," is an excuse I'd often use after I was caught chatting with a friend or playing a game instead of doing real work.
Sadly, this is something that is not only prevalent in society, but it can even be celebrated when one who is very skilled at coming up with creative excuses is praised. Be it so; it's still wrong. The excuse only hides the shame; the shame is still there, buried. One way or another, we will eventually have to face the reality of WHY we did or did not do things, and the shame will spring up in our faces unexpected, raw and even painful.
In addition, lame excuses hide the real reasons we do things. This means we cannot learn or grow from the experience. We continue doing what we should be ashamed of doing. For example, I continued to chat with friends and play computer games instead of getting the work I should be doing done first. It nearly cost me my job, but I continued to lie to myself with these excuses, and that hid the reality that I had a problem. I did not learn until my job was threatened and then reality came crashing in like a ton of bricks.
Even more recently, I've also discovered that good acts can be used as lame excuses. For example, at one point I was taking the time to help one friend through withdrawal, consoling someone else, and working on a project for a third. Then I bit someone's head off. I said, "Sorry, but I'm helping one friend through withdrawal, consoling someone else, and working on this project. That is the reason I bit your head off."
At first, this appears like it's a legitimate excuse, like the car accident above. But let's look at this from a different perspective. I was doing all three things independently and without anyone's awareness save the people directly involved. These were good works I had been doing in secret. But because I now used them as an excuse, only for the sake of alleviating the shame I felt, I had trumpeted those good works (see below) trading all of the value of what I had done for the mere patch to cover that bit of shame I felt.
On Twitter @Jesus_ posted a nugget of wisdom: "Just say sorry, don't complicate the matter by using excuses." I can see now, why that is true. Christ also mentioned that we should simply say "yes" or "no" and everything beyond that is of the evil one (Matthew 5:37) who can use it to advantage. The same can be said of said of apologies; simply say "sorry." What advantage does the evil one have with a few extra words? Evidently from the case described above, those extra words cost me the value of the good works as I have called the spotlight to them.
In our world, we're tempted to add "but" followed by whatever we can think of that will cover our shame or placate the recipient of the words - even if the recipient only ourselves.
Don't complicate the matter by using excuses.
Don't give away good works.
Keep it simple.
-ESA
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