What is the Other Message?

During a long drive this past weekend, my husband and I listened to a commercial and it brought to mind one of our long-standing conversations - what ELSE is the commercial saying?

• In this radio ad, there was a teenage girl sobbing her eyes out that her figure and face wasn't as pretty as those in the magazines. The consoling mother knew just what to do - take the girl shopping to the local outlets stores. The teenage girl instantly stopped her sobbing and cheered right up. Loving mother even commented on how happy her daughter now was.

The obvious message - shop at the local outlet stores - had an additional message. If we don't like what we see in the mirror, go shopping. After all, material goods BUYS happiness!

• A cologne commercial on TV has all the girls dismissing this guy until he starts wearing this particular cologne. Then the girls stream out of no where and hang all over this guy, clinging to his every word, look, gesture, and - to a significant degree - body part.

The obvious marketing message - buy this cologne - is heavily influenced by the message that, as a society, guys WANT women to hang all over them. If the women aren't, there MUST be something wrong with you, so go out and buy more products: scents, designer clothes, sports cars, etc. so women will swoon over you too. After all, it's not WHO you are but WHAT you can buy that makes you a person of worth!

• A commercial aired during a children's television show had an animated rabbit talking with a glum-looking group of kids. The mother of one of kids comes back from shopping. No one goes to help. The rabbit gets the kids to ask if they can have the chocolate flavored milk IF they help. Then the kids immediately descend on the car and help carry in the groceries. They line up with big smiles right after the chocolate powder (first and only thing removed from the grocery bags) is out.

The commercial message - buy this chocolate powder - has several other messages. First, the children need this chocolate powder to be happy. (And I'm sure I'm not the only adult who has seen a child throw a temper-tantrum, a hissy-fit, or just pout/mope because (s)he didn't get chocolate-flavored milk.) Second, don't ever volunteer to help one another; instead demand "what's in it for me?" Third, as soon as you reached the goal you wish to accomplish - stop helping. And finally, if you are bored – eat and/or drink something. It will alleviate boredom AND make you happy. Is this really what we want to teach our children?

• There is a candy commercial that also broadcasts during children's shows. A teen / tween is hanging out on some picnic tables under a pavilion with some friends his age. He is eating some candy. One of his friends asks "can I have some?" At which point this guy pauses and slugs his friend - hard - knocking him out.

Well beyond the "buy this candy" message. There a startlingly horrifying message. Not only do you NOT want to share, you ATTACK someone who just asks for something? What does this teach our children?!? What does it teach the adults? Is this how we view society today?

• The same candy has another commercial where one older teen walks into the room and if his friend has eaten the candy out of the hour glass. The other denies it. The teen starts to age dramatically, so the one sitting there comments, “Well, maybe just one or two..” and continues to eat the candy while watching his friend become a sad, old man.

In addition to "buy this candy" message, we are taught that your should lie to keep out of trouble. When caught in the lie (with evidence shown) that we should still lie while confessing it’s just “one or two.” And, of course, it’s perfectly acceptable to sit there complacently enjoying the fruits of another’s labors (it WAS the first guy’s candy) while watching the other suffer! Think about what this is telling us.

• A fast-food commercial shows this car at a drive-thru window with a guy ordering his meal. Out of no where, the car behind him hits his vehicle hard and continues to forcibly push it out of the way. Then the second driver (smiling at his success) orders the new burger on the menu.

So not only do we take away that we need to buy this new burger from this chain, but we are permitted - actually encouraged - to push people out of the way as we do so. That reaching our goal is the most important thing - no matter how we hurt another, damage another's goods and are just plain rude to our fellow human being.

There are many, many more commercials I can go through. Sometimes it's an eye-opener to sit through them and ask after each one: "OK, what is the OTHER meaning?" It helps open your eyes to all the messages beyond selling a product or service.

How many times do we simply ignore it, or worse - absorb it. This is, after all, a reflection on the way society is, isn't it? Or are we really “sheeple” and just roll over saying, "sure, kids today don't want to help" or "keep your hands off MY stuff" like the commercials teach us?

We need to acknowledge that the other messages are there. See them. Hear them. Then we need to see the response people around us have to those messages. Are they ignoring them? Are they buying into the messages? Are they repeating those actions? Are we?

Next, we need to do something about it. Bringing the additional message to another's attention is a simple and non-confrontational way. Another idea is bringing the mimicked actions to another's attention -- and be willing to have others bring our actions to our attention too. This isn't easy, but it will help counter all the additional messages woven through commercials and scattered like rotten grain into our society. If we simply help each other refocus - person-to-person - we can slow down or stop the spread of these secondary messages.

Perhaps one day we'll see more commercials that focus on building up the community, family, faith in one another, and sharing love instead of fighting over candy...

What is the other message?

See, hear, acknowledge

Spread the word

- ESA