Lent - Day 3

Today I took a vacation day from work. I had awaken early and had a wondrous surprise:

Snowfall!

Considering it was warm enough to wear a sweater or sweatshirt with no jacket outside, this was indeed a pleasant surprise. We've had such a shortage of snowfall this year, that even those that hate shoveling miss it.

I harvested the last of my Farmville crops this morning to go into another hiatus from the addicting (and distracting) game. I then started to poke about the virtual farm, arranging and re-arranging things like a doll-house for grown ups. It wasn't until the fourth time the system crashed that I got a clue. There was something I was missing...

Outside lay a golden opportunity; one that was rare this winter. That was helping my neighbors shovel. How often have I allowed myself to be distracted and missed these golden opportunities?

One of the lessons I've learned earlier this morning points directly to this. I've been asked to stop multi-tasking while I am talking with people or working on something. I must admit, even my prayers would be done via multi-tasking, such as I would say grace while setting up to eat or say my morning prayers as I stumbled through the apartment half-asleep to the bathroom. Not very respectful. 

Not only is this how I miss many opportunities, I AM being disrespectful, to God, to Yeshua (Jesus) and to all others. I need to step away from the distractions and really start give 100% of my attention to what is around me, and who is around me, what they say and what they need. I may regret I can not stand before a full church and preach, nor even afford to go on mission trips. Yet there are countless opportunities to help so many people in my life - everyday.

Today begins with shoveling; I tugged on my snow boots and grabbed the shovel. Our steps and walkway, as well as those of our elderly neighbors, are now clear and liberally sprinkled with salt. My husband went out and cleared off the cars as well.

Who knows what else there may be when we set the computer and cell phone aside, shut off the radio and TV and just observe, just listen. 

It's a beautiful day.

I plan to make the most of it.

Carpe Diem. :D

~ ESA

Lessons in Listening

Yesterday we drove out to my in-laws for New Year's Day. We took my husband's old mini-van, which - like my Jeep - has no working radio. So we filled the long drive with conversation. Part of that conversation, I wish to share here.

At one point, he changed topics and out of the blue says, "You know when you were praying the other day at your mother's, I went in and touched you on the shoulder. It was different than when I touch others when they pray or meditate. Usually there is a sense of peace. There was no peace in you."

I responded, "Well, that was right after I listened to a lengthy tirade from my mother (who spent a great deal of time griping about her neighbors, friends, family members and others), and I was struggling to get some of that negativity out of me."

He added that when I was praying, I was curled up in a ball. 

"Most people when they pray or meditate are open. You were closed, cutting off the world. When one is in an open posture, you are open to the universe and all that is in it, including other people. God IS the universe. But you were curled in a ball, cutting off everything. You were struggling, but you were also closed."

I was silent a moment, not sure how to respond and, instead of letting it sink in, I started to reply with how I was struggling to find some Peace after my mom's tirade. 

But that even sounded lame in my ears. Who was I fooling? No one apparently. He was right, I was cutting off everything, curling into my shell and hiding. Trying to struggle with the negativity by myself even while I prayed for help.

Where I had fallen silent, he added, "There is nothing wrong with what you have done. Turning to God in prayer and meditation is the right thing to do. But there may have been a better way to do it. That's all. While bowing your head low and being humble before God is a good thing, you also need to be open to God...

"Sometimes that means straightening your posture and raising your head, letting God flow into you and through you. Picture the lotus position some meditate in."

There was nothing I could do but agree with this. His words were right. But there was also resistance in me. Who did my husband think he is? Why is he taking a smarter-than-me stance?

Why did I not see until later that those questions - that resistance - was from my own petty ego? 

God works through me; God works through him too. God's Spirit (the Holy Ghost / Holy Spirit) works through everyone, helping us - and helping others through us - learn and grow. We are supposed to help each other; this is part of God's Plan.

I really need to learn to listen more and set my ego aside. Things would be much better in the end if I set aside "me" and listened to God's Wisdom when I encounter it.

-ESA

Listening

How often do we stop and listen - really listen - to what people are saying or trying to tell us? I'll admit, I'm as guilty as others of looking for some point or reference we can use to springboard our own thoughts, insights or comments.

Today, I had an eye-opening moment where I stopped dead and started to read and listen to what someone was telling me. This wasn't something they were saying from their head; it was coming from their heart - from a life of experience and a perspective that was different from any I've experienced in my life and one I really should take the time and effort to learn about and understand.

It takes a lot to keep putting the words out there over and over until someone actually stops and listens. I imagine that there were very many times that she did the same with others and people "listened" politely and never really heard what she said. It takes a special and strong character to keep trying to reach out to others after seeing that time and time again.

And I'm grateful that she took the time to keep up with me until that "ah-ha" moment when what she was saying started to sink in.

How often do I listen - really listen - to people and hear what comes from their heart? I thought I did all the time, but it takes these special "ah-ha" moments -- and more important special people like this woman who helped me open my eyes -- to really see that I don't as often as I thought I did.

Thank you, my friend.

Listen
Hear
Open my eyes and my heart

- ESA