Walking thru Fog

Have you ever driven along a highway and there's a wall of fog across the road ahead of you? What happens when you hit that wall that reflects your headlights back to you and obscures everything beyond it's edge? Is there a feeling of impact? Is there a crumple of car echoing through the murk? Does the vehicle stop or even slow down upon contact? Or is there nothing impeding your forward momentum?

Or do you, the driver, take your foot off the accelerator because you are temporarily blinded by the fog?

There are sometimes moments in life when something can impede forward progress in much the same way as that wall of fog. There are days when we believe what others think about us - how they judge our actions and responses - are in essence the real "me."

I grew up the "outsider" kid in school. No one would talk with me. No one would play with me at recess. No one would eat at the same table with me, unless they were forced to by a teacher who felt sorry for me. When that happened, piles of books and bags would separate me from them, a clear indication they were not really with me. I was rejected. I was something no one wants to be near. I was alone and unloved.

It has taken another two decades to undo what the first twenty years of my life ingrained into my thinking. I realize now that I am loved, that I am someone of great value. Those who do not see it, do not see the true value that I carry within me. I also know that NO voice in this world has the right to counter the Love I receive from my Creator.

God does not make anything worthless, no matter what this world may say. In fact, that which this world values - money, power, prestige and popularity - is of little real value.

With God at my side, I am never alone.

I will admit, though, there are still times when that very valuable lesson gets lost in the fog. There are times when people tell me I am worthless. Someone recently took a poll of his friends to convince me that his assessment of my worthlessness was accurate. Why would I take his words over another? Do I value the words of those who belittle my worth over the words of the One who made me and knows truly what I am?

There are days when I hit that fog and take my foot off the accelerator. I stare with eyes that cannot penetrate the fog. I give substance to that fog when I believe the words of another, even when they are not true.

Elanor Roosevelt once stated, very wisely, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Yet, I can still let myself be convinced that I am worthless from time-to-time. :(

I buy back into the "you are valueless, unwanted and unloved" messages again. I walk into the fog and stop dead on my own. The fog has no power to stop me. It's completely insubstantial. It brings moisture, such as tears to my eyes, but one can walk through it without a scratch. It only stopped me because I allowed it to stop me. I gave the condescending opinions of others the POWER to stop me.

Often we believe that there are only two choices: (1) We either accept the words - acknowledging that we are worthless or (2) we fight them, deny them, argue against them. In either case, we have given power to the lie, making it real and giving it some control over our lives and how we see ourselves. To accept is to make it real to us. To fight it... is ALSO to make it real to us. For would we fight something that is not really there? There is a third choice.

To ignore it completely. 

There is a great scene repeated a few times in the Naruto series. One character is a swaggering person of great skill but also great ego. There are times when this character tries to show how much greater he is than another, who is also known for great skill. He will swagger and boast and even try to bait the other into a competition to disprove the words. Then the other will turn to him and ask, "Did you just say something?" This takes the wind out of the other's sails like no amount of boasting or counter-attack. It rendered it completely insubstantial ~ like the fog.

Because I gave it, I can take that power to belittle me away again. I can walk through the fog and realize that the taunting words of others that are meant to cripple me... have no power over me at all.

The next time someone tries to make of me less than I am,
I hope I see the fog for what it truly is
And walk through it without a scratch.

- ESA

Please Don't Be Angry...

Those who know me well, know I truly enjoy rhyming on Twitter. There are days when I find myself too busy to tweet or write. But there are also other times I need to steer clear from Twitter because, inside, something is not right. While I am still not that comfortable sharing some inner struggles with my readers, this wanted to be shared...


Most of my readers are at least familiar with the Gospel accounts of Yeshua/Jesus the Christ. Many will agree that He loves all of us, even shared company with those who others believed were the dregs of society. He wept with some; He laughed with many. But He would get angry too...


The accounts that spring to my mind are times when His temper flared. He mocked, yelled, even trashed a temple market place. When I look back over the accounts, I find that Christ didn't get THAT mad at every person's sins / mistakes. What really fired Him up was when those who were called to bring people to God (or at least played that part in society), were not doing what they should. Instead, those people were lapping up the benefits of the spotlight, the best seat, the riches, the belief that they were the favored/chosen ones well above all, worthy to judge and belittle the rest. Yet they saw no blemish within themselves.

In a round-about way, that's what brings me to periods of silence on Twitter. I Love Yeshua/Jesus with all my heart. I don't want ANYthing to come between us, even my own stubborn stupidity at times. I understand the ramifications of taking on the twitter name of @JesusSister. While I love Him as dear as a little sister loves, admires, respects and wants to imitate her big Brother, I also know my place: that is OUTside the spotlight.

As any who are in the spotlight can tell you, regardless if it's the entertainment industry, political arena, office politics or even the family favorite: the spotlight feels good. Kudos and praise from others are very, very sweet, like a rich dessert. But like a dessert's calories, the spotlight has a price too.

When someone speaks on affairs of the soul, of God, or starts the path to uplift the spirits of another, we have a responsibility. We need to continue on a path that let's GOD shine - not us. It is so easy - so very, very easy - to be caught up in the euphoria of public praise, even just a few people's high-opinion, that we can start thinking ourselves above them, better than them. So very smoothly we transition from a voice guiding someone to the loving arms of God to the very same hearts and minds of the pharisee's that Christ raged against.

There are days such sweet praise encourages me to continue to share the blessings and nuggets. At the same time, I grow very frightened for I do not want to become like the Pharisee's or similar modern-day preachers and prophets.

• Wow wow wow, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you SO much : )
• TY, dear one. Lovely words, as always. You truly are a positive influence on many!
• I sooooo ℓσνє your poetic gιfтιиg. It cheers and encourages my нєαят. May God bless u in those spectacular of ways. ツ
• That was beautiful, TY!
• Sincerity of Heart in it's fervency demonstrates the Love of God for all to see...this you do Little Sister,this you do! :)
• Your tweet made my day and gave me hope, thank u sister
• You really know how to lift a sister up. ツ
• Ur words r divine......:)))
• she is smart
• Amen! And thank you for this.
• a message to the Soul so fair.. -you do the fine rhyme
• You have been blessed with the gift of being able to write what other can only feel but have no words for.
• caring heart, abounding in His Love!
• Love your tweets!! :)
• @JesusSister is such a blessing. Her poetical gifting is simply marvelous. Please #ff her.
• Please follow @JesusSister ... Follower her as I follow Christ..... #agape

I think the last one nails where I am trying to go with this. It frightens me! Glory & praise should be for God, not me. Yes, I do need the encouragement and I sincerely appreciate the kind words sent my way. I know they are from good hearts who are not trying to entrap me. Please don't think I am saying that.

But at the same time, I need to watch myself all the closer when such sweet praise comes. I can not lap it up. I cannot grow fat with it. I cannot sit in the spotlight for the Song in my heart that I sing isn't from me alone.

Humility.

I need humility so bad some days it hurts within and tears flow. I really don't want Christ mad at me. I love Him too much. The spotlight here should never be so sweet that I want it instead of Christ's smile. Instead, I turn to Yeshua/Jesus, away from Twitter, and wait patiently until the sparkles fade and I can sing notes clearly again. Without Him, all my words would be only to bring myself praise, and thus wither on the vine.

Without Christ, my Song will turn bitter
I see myself above brothers and sisters
Instead of beside them where I belong
Where Christ still is today...

- ESA

Good News

When we turn on the news, read the newspapers, listen to the radio, or check the latest happenings online, chances are there is bad news. A lot of it. In some cases, if there is any good news at all, it's likely to be some tiny micro-feature, while the more-horrific, more-heartwrenching news gets the most coverage. If it's bad enough, you'll hear about it for days.

In fact, it's a sure bet that if a winged unicorn landed in Central Park, starting farting rainbows so everyone there started to smile and laugh in joy, and there was a single pickpocket in the South Bronx (a neighborhood that has, sadly, seen a lot worse) -- and that was the ONLY news in New York City that day -- every single newsperson would be in the South Bronx covering the pick-pocket story. Our media LOVES to report bad news; that is what they tell us we want to hear...

How much of this non-stop bad news colors our perception of our world? We see so much criminal activity, heinous acts, violence, heartlessness, lies, cheating and down-right "evil" - in the hearts of all mankind. It's no wonder so many people are looking forward to the world possibly ending this December.

The truth is that while there is bad news, there is a far greater amount of good news. We just don't see it. We don't hear it. We don't tell it... If you had two bits of news - one good and one bad of equal weight - to tell others, which would come out of your mouth first? Unless we were trying to sell something, chances are the bad news would be told first.

Why not change that?

Why not share all the good news you find around you - everyday - and put dampeners on the bad news? Yes, there is bad news in the world, but what does it serve to share it unless you plan on doing something about it? If you are going to make a positive impact, share THAT news. Tell people how others have helped.

Following last year's tsunami in Japan, share the news that there was global turnout of aid and support. Recall how there was no looting or price-gouging immediately following the quake; or how the elderly volunteered to work at the damaged reactors to spare the young people the radiation exposure.

Following the devastating storms the US saw last year, how many times do we share the inspiring stories of neighbor-helping-neighbor, about people traveling hundreds of miles to rebuild towns? After a hurricane, the residents of a Vermont town that was completely cut off from the world met each day on the town green, went to harvest the fields by hand together, and had a community meal with what they gathered day-after-day until normal resources were back in place.

The more we focus on positive aspects of our lives, the more positive news we find around us. But if we continue to focus on the negative, we spiral downwards and close ourselves from our brothers and sisters, from our neighbors and see only an evil world. The world is our choice. Much of what we see, hear, and experience in this life reflects what our focus is on. If we focus on good news, we find many more blessings in our life.

Yes, that is true. Ask many a psychologist. Ask the One who made us. But if you still don't believe it; try it. You may surprise yourself.

Even the word "Gospel" means "Good News."

On Friday evening, I worked late and picked up pizza on the walk home. The local pizzeria was packed and the take-out line started at the register in the back of the dining room and stretched two-thirds the distance to the front door. The wait was over an hour. And yet... as I left after getting my pizza, I must have dropped my wallet. Someone spied it and gave it to the staff. One of the waitresses literally ran out the door after me shouting my name to return it to me, despite the crowd of people inside. No one complained; a few smiled. And I was very grateful for the actions of both the person who turned it in and the waitress. When I got home, I shared the good news. Despite the long wait for food, the evening felt brighter.

It's a new year; it's a new start.
Focus on the positive.
Find a better world.
- ESA

Green Rectangles (Humor)

This is from an email that was forwarded to me; I wanted to share it with my readers:

_______________________________________________________________________________

God and St. Francis were having a conversation in Heaven.

God: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles...

St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord: The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

God: "Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so Myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they turn these beautiful colors then fall to the ground to form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and shrubs. It's a natural cycle of life.

St. Francis: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No!? What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They... cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore! St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about --

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis. 

_____________________________________________________________________________

- ESA

Praise Reports

Following prayers, sometimes - though not often - I get praise reports. These are when someone reveals how a prayer was answered.

 Usually this is from some pastor who has requested prayers for another; sometimes by the person privately.

 Even the rare times I "feel" which way a prayer will be answered, there is always doubt in my mind. Thus I will say nothing to the person other than " I am praying for you."

When I first received a praise report where they called it "praise report." I had a jumble of emotions. First, I was glad; it was good news. Then I racked my mind to see if it matched the "feeling" I may have had when I prayed for that particular request. Honestly, I could not remember.

Then part of me argued boastfully, "I do not need to see these praise reports. If God wants me to know, I know. I know God hears all my prayers; that is sufficient!"

But another part of me - a part that was being more honest than boastful - quietly countered this. "No. I do need them. There is still a great deal of doubt in me. I need these praise reports as witnesses. I need some confirmation for the part of me that deals in THIS life existence to see. I need witnesses to testify that God does hear and answers prayers."
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It is a bitter pill for the pride in me to swallow, but it is the plain truth.

It's a part of being human.

-ESA

Prayers

When someone asks me to pray, I do so ~ often on the spot.

Unlike some, I do not raise my hands that pray aloud or use fancy words. Growing up, no one around me did that. At Catholic Mass we said the same prayers week-after-week, the same responses to the point of memorization. Even when we (rarely) said the blessing before the meals, it was a memorized prayer.

Then there were the really intimate prayers, just one-on-One communications with God, said quietly - silently - behind closed doors in your room.

Since childhood, I have seen other Christians "pray over someone" or "invoke the Holy Spirit" to action. Some of these prayers - though not many - sound like they are barking orders to God.

*Shudder* I don't know if I will ever become comfortable with that.

Then there are ones that I have heard pray aloud - humbly - and ask for God's help. Reverently. These are shining stars to me.

Not often, but sometimes I can feel another praying likewise silently in their heart, like soft, warm air flowing gently outward from them.

When I pray, for myself or for another, mostly it is silent. There are times I pray aloud, in song, in communal prayers, or shared prayers such as at meals with my husband, where we sometimes add things to the blessing, such as "please help those outside on such a cold night tonight."

When I pray for another, I take the time apart whatever I am doing and ... extend my thoughts to God. Then I reach out toward the person for whom I pray. Often I can feel some aspect of the person: vague emotions, such as fear, desperation, sadness, worry, flickering hope... It's not like I read minds; I just feel some small connection with the person. Then I pray - with them, for them - to God, asking for help.

Usually I request something specific, but I always ask that God's Will be done.

I know that sometimes that means the person is not going to get what (s)he wants. Sometimes there is something better in not getting what we want. I ask also that God reach out to the person, give Hope, give Comfort, give Patience, give Courage... whatever is needed in that moment. Sometimes it is also a matter of God reaching out to the people around that person, working through them and helping them as well. It is not easy for a parent of a young child to stand beside a hospital bed not knowing if their offspring will take another breath...Or if the bills will be paid.... Or if they will never see someone they love deeply again... Or that they can get through any number of life's trials...

So many prayers needed...

When I pray, sometimes, but not as often as I would hope to have, I can tell which way the answer will fall. Sometimes there is an immediate ... "feeling" (for lack of a better word) ... that the prayer HAS been answered. The person will get better; the teenager will come back home, the feeling of Hope will return, whatever the case may be... I just get this feeling that it has been accomplished.

Sometimes there is the opposite; it will not come to pass as requested, yet God will be with them and others to help them through this time in life. At times I will be aware of Yeshua / Jesus reaching toward their hearts.

Most times, though, when I pray, I get no response at all, save "fax transmitted successfully..." to use a contemporary analogy. I do not know the outcome, but I know with certainty that God has heard me.

I have also come to realize, without any doubts, that prayers do work outside of time. We understand things in a linear manner. For example, if there's a need, we hear about, pray about it and it's then the prayer is answered.
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Well, God is outside of time. So the prayer may be accomplished even before there is a need. Or we can pray after the answer has been witnessed, and our prayers will be heard and acted upon. So these things may not occur in the order we understand them.
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Thus if I receive a prayer request from several days ago, I still pray then. God works outside of time to answer it.




Yeshua / Jesus prayed the whole time He lived in this world with us. I have no doubts He still prays, even while we pray to Him.
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There is something special and spiritual in prayers.
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We can all access that.
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- ESA

Forgiveness and Fight

This post is predominantly a response to a tweet I received last night. I had tweeted a rhyme about forgiveness; the response was "Forgiveness in my heart towards my enemies, yes; with Love & a Pure Heart. Forgiveness in court for their crimes, no. #Justice" This initially left me with a lack for words; I realized a tweet was not going to accurately convey what I wish to say. So I will reply here.

One of my favorite sayings is "Humanity asks God why He allows all these bad things to happen; God may be asking Humanity the same question." We are no longer children; we have a responsibility: to help one another. Where there is darkness, we need to bring light; this applies to correcting social injustices, not just "bringing them the Word."

Then there is the command to Love one another and Forgive each other. Where does that apply? All cases, all times, all situations. Does that mean we let "criminals get off free" and continue the acts we are trying to stop? Not exactly...

Forgiveness works at a different level than the guilty/innocent determinations of the court systems. As any good lawyer can tell you, things can be manipulated and presented to the best possible advantage to your case - whether that is beneficial to all or just one. Court and the laws apply determinations based on he actions and consequences that have taken place.

Forgiveness involves the people. Forgiveness' primary function is opening doors, not drawing lines. We are asked to look into the heart of the person, not just the mind. We are asked to continue to love them, not let our anger turn into hate. When we look upon another with anger or hate, we see actions, not the person. We may not even see actions correctly. Lawyers aren't the only ones to manipulate; our emotions do this too. When we look through the eyes of hatred, we see an enemy: someone to hurt, someone to harm, someone to stop and PUNISH. With hatred in our hearts, our perception WILL be skewed; this is basic psychology as well as spiritually founded.

Instead we are called to love them, to listen to them and find the root cause of the situation, then follow through and find positive resolutions. This may include following through with the punishment, the consequences for their actions. But, very sadly, too many stop there. They punish the person and never follow through with fixing the social causes that lead to the action.

For example, in my town, there was a young man that was arrested, convicted and went to jail for larceny - three times in a row, one right after the other. Many who hear this fact would right away turn a cold heart toward that criminal. He obviously did not learn the lesson! He should be thrown in jail permanently! Right?

Now I will divulge some more information in this case. He robbed a supermarket - the same supermarket, the only supermarket in walking distance to his residence. He had no car. He did not rob the cashier; he was convicted of shoplifting. What did he take? The first time was a canister of baby formula. The second time was formula and some small jars of baby food. The third time was a box of generic cereal commonly given to toddlers.

Do you see the pattern?

This young man did not have a job to pay for the items. With a criminal record from the first conviction, he was likely turned down a number of times. But ... he was trying to feed his CHILD! Why did he have to resort to theft? There are social services in place for that right? Well... The first time someone applies for food stamps or assistance, they are turned down flatly - that's the policy. One actually has to know the "game" to use the right terms, fill out the right forms and follow up with the right people. If you don't know the game, you loose. And they don't publish the rules.

Then there are several other factors. There are no social service locations in this town. Public transportation between towns is rare to non-existent. Without a car, one cannot access them. Plus as a father (instead of a mother) it is harder for him to access the services needed to care for a child. It's not a policy; but, sadly, it is a practice.

I don't know what happened to this young man or the child. The local paper stopped reporting after the third conviction. Three strikes and you're out, I suppose... Apparently not enough people cared, for I have seen little changes in the local social structures except to close more locations in the state due to "budget cuts."

Is this the case of all criminal activity around the globe? Certainly not. But if we are truly to Love one another and Forgive, we are also responsible to find the root cause of the activity. Why does it exist? What supports it?

If we did not glamorize the criminal side in movies/TV or let our starlets, corporate heads or politicians get away with actions the minimum-wage workers would not, perhaps the lure would not be so strong. Plus I bet if one were to follow every possible line of connections leading up to criminal activity, they would find not only hearts feeding on greed and hatred, they would also find people who find themselves in desperate situations, ones where they see no other option BUT to turn to the criminal side of society.

Follow these lines; help the desperate. Pray for the Lost. Fix the problems. Too often we punish those we find guilty and sweep the rest under the carpet, forgotten... And like mold in a damp corner, it will only continue to grow into yet more problems involving more people.

We need to not only light the dark corners of our world; we need to open doors so others find another path, starving the serpent that feeds on them.

It is not easy.
But it is worth it.

-ESA

Lessons in Listening

Yesterday we drove out to my in-laws for New Year's Day. We took my husband's old mini-van, which - like my Jeep - has no working radio. So we filled the long drive with conversation. Part of that conversation, I wish to share here.

At one point, he changed topics and out of the blue says, "You know when you were praying the other day at your mother's, I went in and touched you on the shoulder. It was different than when I touch others when they pray or meditate. Usually there is a sense of peace. There was no peace in you."

I responded, "Well, that was right after I listened to a lengthy tirade from my mother (who spent a great deal of time griping about her neighbors, friends, family members and others), and I was struggling to get some of that negativity out of me."

He added that when I was praying, I was curled up in a ball. 

"Most people when they pray or meditate are open. You were closed, cutting off the world. When one is in an open posture, you are open to the universe and all that is in it, including other people. God IS the universe. But you were curled in a ball, cutting off everything. You were struggling, but you were also closed."

I was silent a moment, not sure how to respond and, instead of letting it sink in, I started to reply with how I was struggling to find some Peace after my mom's tirade. 

But that even sounded lame in my ears. Who was I fooling? No one apparently. He was right, I was cutting off everything, curling into my shell and hiding. Trying to struggle with the negativity by myself even while I prayed for help.

Where I had fallen silent, he added, "There is nothing wrong with what you have done. Turning to God in prayer and meditation is the right thing to do. But there may have been a better way to do it. That's all. While bowing your head low and being humble before God is a good thing, you also need to be open to God...

"Sometimes that means straightening your posture and raising your head, letting God flow into you and through you. Picture the lotus position some meditate in."

There was nothing I could do but agree with this. His words were right. But there was also resistance in me. Who did my husband think he is? Why is he taking a smarter-than-me stance?

Why did I not see until later that those questions - that resistance - was from my own petty ego? 

God works through me; God works through him too. God's Spirit (the Holy Ghost / Holy Spirit) works through everyone, helping us - and helping others through us - learn and grow. We are supposed to help each other; this is part of God's Plan.

I really need to learn to listen more and set my ego aside. Things would be much better in the end if I set aside "me" and listened to God's Wisdom when I encounter it.

-ESA

Resolution

I made one New Year's resolution many years ago that I've been able to keep - just one. That was to make no more New Year's resolutions.

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Does that mean there is nothing about me that I intend to change?

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Do I not want to loose the extra weight I carry around? Do I not want to become a better person? Do I not want to strive to do more to help my fellow human being in this world?

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Of course not!

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I just no longer wait until one particular day each year to try to change something about myself in a positive way.

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No one knows with 100% accuracy what will happen tomorrow. We can plan, certainly. We can schedule. But none of us "KNOWS" what tomorrow will bring - or even the next hour. So if I truly wish to make a change in myself, I have the moment right in my hands. This very moment, today!

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Now.

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Each day, each moment brings us a fresh new opportunity as pristine as the moment that occurred at midnight local time on New Year's Day. Why wait until the turning of the calendar to allow myself that opportunity and let all the others slip by?

Carpe Diem
Seize the Day
Seize the Moment

-ESA

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!