Reflections in Water

I've seen a few comments this morning about the lack of dramatic tsunami wave hitting Hawaii, Australia, Japan and others in the Pacific. I sit back and simply wonder this: was it because there was no major threat? That it was just media hype like some people say?

Or was it because so many in the world reached out in thought and prayer for those in harm's way ... and helped turn the tide of what could have been further disaster?

Think then on this, too: If we as the world can reach out our hearts, our minds, our prayers with love and concern and be answered in a such a positive way, what else can we do collectively? Would more survivors be found in Chili? Would the world's hearts turn from greed to helping one another? Could the world's hungry be fed? Could we actually see peace in our times?

What can we do
In this world
Together?

-ESA

Lion's Estate (Story)

There once was a master who owned a very large estate with three workers, a sheep, a goat and a fox. The master was a noble and kind-hearted lion who loved them. Everyone on the estate worked in harmony; there was peace and prosperity where everyone enjoyed the rewards of their labors.

One day, the lion was called away from the estate. He gathered his workers before him, saying, "I must leave you for a while, but I will return. In the meanwhile, I ask the three of you to continue working as you have in diligence and harmony. I place my full trust in you." With these words, he lovingly embraced them; the sheep first, then the goat and finally the fox.

When the lion had departed, the fox thought to himself, Why was I the last to be embraced? I work as hard as the the other two. In fact, I work harder since I use my clever mind to help the master's business and property prosper. Disheartened, he wandered away from the estate into the deep, dark woods.

There the darkness saw the question in his mind and taunted the fox's heart, saying "Your master doesn't love you as much as he loves your coworkers. You do your best to please him, but your best isn't good enough. Why do you continue to do so? In fact, your clever mind would be better utilized if you worked for yourself. Think how profitable you would be! In no time at all, you could be a master yourself and have an even larger estate. Wouldn't that show him?"

Delight danced in the fox's eyes as he took these words into his heart. "Oh yes! Oh yes indeed! That would be wonderful. How can this be accomplished?"

The darkness chuckled with delight and whispered the plans into the fox's uplifted and eager ears.

Meanwhile, back on the estate, the goat was also having some misgivings. As he went about his work, his eyes were drawn toward the sheep. Why did our master embrace him first? the goat wondered, his little beard bristling in envy. Does our master love him more than me? He is so docile and worthless; I'm the one who fights for our master's rights and worth of the goods his estate produces. Why should he be loved more than me?

Then a dark wind blew from the deep, dark woods across the estate and whispered into the goat's ear. The glare of envy became glints as an idea formed in his mind. Whatever the sheep works on, I will undo; when our master returns, he will see all that I have done and the sheep will have nothing to show him. From that very day, he unraveled, sabotaged and even destroyed the efforts of his coworker.

As the fox returned to the estate from the deep, dark woods, he spied the goat's actions and thought, This is what the darkness told me to watch for; my plan begins. He went straightaway to the sheep and told him, "See what your coworker has done to all your hard labors? Now, if you trust me, I could take your work and keep it safe from the goat."

The sheep trusted the fox, remembering the parting words of their master. Yearning that the estate's unity would not be lost, he humbly nodded his assent.

The fox grinned slyly; the smile never reaching his eyes. "Perhaps you could also get for me some of the goat's work as well - just to keep it safe for our master."

The sheep was horrified, "Why would I steal from my coworker?"

"Because," quipped the fox, "he obviously doesn't really understand the value of our master's estate, else he would not destroy part of it -- you work -- with his petty ambitions."

Deep inside, the sheep knew this was wrong, but he allowed himself to be deceived.

Day followed day. The goat continued to sabotage the sheep's work. The sheep saved what he could and gave it to the fox, along with what he stole from the goat. The sly fox sold the goods and continued to line his pockets and promote his own worth.

After a long while, the lion returned to his grand estate to find it in disorder and ruin. Fire glinted in his golden eyes as his anger rose, and his roar could be heard echoing across the land. Immediately he called his three workers before him and ordered each to give account for their actions.

The sheep stepped forward, humbly saying, "Forgive me, Kind Master, for I have wronged you and my coworker. Instead of working in harmony to prosper your estate, I helped bring it to ruin. I... I stole from the goat because he unraveled, sabotaged and destroyed my work. Please forgive me, Master."

Without a word, the lion's eyes went to the goat, who answered, "Forgive me, Kind Master, for I have wronged you. I thought you loved the sheep more than me, and I did what I did so I could be greater in your eyes. Please forgive me, Master."

Still silent, the lion's eyes fell on the fox who grinned back with a wicked smile. "If you think I'm going to apologize, you're crazy! I did what I needed to do and now I have wealth, notoriety and a lush estate of my own. You took my earlier work for granted and now I have more than even you!"

The lion turned to the sheep. "Do you forgive the goat for unraveling, sabotaging and destroying your work?"

"Y... yes, Master. I also wronged him, so it is only fitting to forgive him."

"Do you also forgive the fox for taking your work and keeping it as his own?"

The sheep paused and looked at the still smiling fox. "I don't think it was right, but the work I did was for you, not me. So, in truth, he stole from you. I will personally hold nothing against him for his actions."

The anger in the lion's eyes softened to mercy and compassion as he once more embraced the sheep. "Then I forgive your actions as well. Come, devoted worker, I will give you a fine room in my house."

Then he turned to the goat, "And what about you? Do you forgive the sheep for stealing your work?"

The goat grit his teeth and glared at the sheep for a long moment. "Well... Alright. If he can forgive me for what I did, I can forgive him too."

The lion smiled jubilantly. "And do you also forgive the fox for what he has done?"

The goat's bearded jaw dropped. "Are you kidding!?! He hasn't even asked for forgiveness; he's not sorry! Look at him!"

The lion's eyes turned sad as he stood before the goat. "Then your actions shall not be forgiven either. You may stay employed on this estate, but you cannot live within my house."

At last he turned in rage to the fox, baring his mighty white teeth. "You, who would steal from me and make what is mine yours shall be banished from this estate. Did you not know I have the power to take what is truly mine back to me? Foolish fox! You who listened to the darkness will be cast into the darkness - empty-handed and alone!" With those words, he grabbed the fox by the scruff and cast him off his estate.

Then he took the sheep by the hand, smiling, and led him into the main house. That night there was much celebration within the house, with dancing and music, singing, feasting and laughter.

The goat stood outside the house, yearning to enter and join the celebration. He was certainly glad he was still on the estate and not exiled as the fox had been, for there were strange, terrible sounds of suffering in the deep, dark woods -- howls, gurgles and yelps of pain so intense it made your hair rise.

While he continued to look longingly at the house, the door opened and the lion stepped out. "Why do you stand here thus, goat?"

"Because I wish to join you inside like the sheep, Master."

"Why did you not forgive the fox as the sheep did? If you had, you would be inside with him."

"I... I understand now that I should have, and I greatly regret my decision. But..." tears started to flow from his eyes, "but it is too late now."

The lion came down the steps and asked. "Have you finally found in your heart forgiveness for the fox?"

"I... I have, Master."

With an even greater joy in his heart, the lion swept the goat up into his embrace and said, "Then you are forgiven too. Come, join me and your coworker inside my house."

The next day, the lion left the estate with a bright lamp and went into the deep, dark woods -- the dominion of the darkness. The darkness seethed in rage at the intrusion, but the lion paid it no mind for he was greater and could not be touched by it. He was here to find the fox.

The darkness saw this and raced ahead, reaching the fox first. The fox sat there huddled, broken and bleeding; pain shot through him and tears continuously flowed from his eyes. The darkness wrapped itself around the fox blocking all light around him and casting fear and suspicion in his mind. When the lion reached him, he was in such a sad state of heart and mind, he did not recognize his former master nor see the bright light he carried.

"My dear fox," the lion said, "I've come to call you home."

"Home!?! I have no home! My loving master cast me from his estate for what I have done. This is yet another trick. A lie! A deception! A torture like all those that have befallen on me since I came to this wretched place! Go AWAY! Please! Leave me alone! Can't you see I'm already in a great deal of pain!?! Please! STOP THIS TORTURE!!!!!" He wept great wracking sobs.

The lion reached out to comfort him, but the fox pulled away terrified and curled into an even tighter ball of misery and pain, wrapping his tail around him and before his eyes to block out the face before him.

With a great ache in his heart, the lion left the deep, dark woods alone. He returned twice more, but twice more the fox rejected his offer.

When the lion returned to the estate after the third attempt, the goat saw the pain in his eyes and approach him. "Master, let me go to the fox and see if I can give him a message."

The lion thought a moment and agreed. "You are the stubborn one of my workers. Perhaps you can reach through the darkness and get him to listen."

The goat left the estate and entered the deep, dark woods. The darkness greeted him right away, trying to lure him away from the lion as it had done to the fox. But by now, the goat had lived in the lion's house and saw only truth. While the darkness spent its efforts casting shadows before the goat's eyes, it failed to see him as a threat and did nothing to hinder the fox this time.

When the goat found the fox in such a wretched state, his heart immediately went out to him and he knelt by the fox's side, tending to his wounds. The fox opened his pain-filled eyes and asked, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I have forgiven you as our master has forgiven me."

Tears flowed anew down damp, matted cheek ruffs. "I wish he was still my master and loved me. He never would have let this happen to me if he still loved me..."

"He does still love you."

"Then why hasn't he come to save me from this cruel fate?"

"He has - thrice. His heart aches because three times you have turned him away."

Firmly the fox snapped his jaw and shook his head. It took much convincing and several long periods of conversation between sessions of torture and torment the fox had to endure. But the goat set in his heels and would not leave the fox's side until his saw the truth too.

When at last the truth that not only did the lion still love him, but that the darkness into which his actions had cast him was the reason he did not see their master's light nor recognize him when he came, the fox asked, "What am I to do now?"

The goat lifted his eyes, looking over the fox's head. "I can see the light of the estate, even though the darkness tries to hide it from my eyes. Let me lead you there." Slowly and painfully the pair made their way out of the deep, dark woods.

In the estate's gateway, the lion stood, tears of joy cascading down his cheeks and into his noble mane. Elated, he ran the last few steps and crushed the poor broken fox against his broad chest.

Immediately, the fox's pain and afflictions fell away from him and were replaced by a Love and Joy greater than any he had ever experienced. "Please forgive me," he wept into the lion's mane as he was held in that embrace.

"I have, fox. And right now my heart sings with the greatest joy of all. Come, join us in my house."

-ESA

Obstacles and Tools

As one strives to grow spiritually, one recognizes and overcomes obstacles that impede growth. Often, these can be summed up in two words: Fear and Self-Pride.

Fear hinders our efforts to open our hearts and reach out to others. It prevents us from leaving comfortable situations for something new and unknown. Fear of failure stills hands and tongues more often than any criticism, reprimand or outside threat.

Self-Pride - feeling that I am greater or stand taller than others in someone's eyes (including God's) - leads to prejudice, ostentation, greed, jealousy, bitterness, lies, and corruption of the soul. With it, one's eyes remain on oneself and not where they should be.

Then there's the combination of the two: when one allows fear of what others think of them to alter what one is inspired to do. That defeats the purpose, for in changing it one weakens or kills it. Or worse, changes it's message or intent.

Within our possession we have tools to counter this.

Faith and Trust work together to form the Courage that sees us through the Fear. Faith and Trust in God opens us to Guidance and Understanding of things that were beyond us, helping us break the illusion fear often holds before our eyes.

We also bring out the best in others by believing in them and trusting them to do the right thing. Yes, we will get hurt, for the world is not perfect. But it's good-faith efforts that allows humanity to collaborate. And when we work together, something amazing happens: We accomplish far more than the sum of our individual efforts!

Humility is hard to maintain, but it keeps the ego down to a manageable size. It helps one to see the the false glitter of lies and LAUGH in it's face! It will not be in standing before people but in serving people that things progress. For in working for and with one another, we grow. Those that stand proudly in front oft are the ones blocking the progress.

Keeping our eyes off ourselves is one of the hardest things. Each year we celebrate our own birth. Attention is given to individual grades in school; personal accomplishments are recognized. To get a job, we must tell people what we do and how well we do it. It's become our way of life.

We need to avert our eyes from a public, self-centered perspective to see what is outside of ourselves (others and their needs) and within ourselves (God's Love, Guidance and Wisdom).

Further, this leads to another tool: Prayer. When we know we are not alone, and when we realize we need help, we pray. Sometimes we bemoan our circumstances and ask for help. But when take our eyes off ourselves completely, praying for others and opening ourselves to His Guidance, we let His Love combine with our love.

And in serving humbly, we allow that Love to flow through our thoughts, works and words. When we focus on self, this is choked off. When we focus how WE are helping others, it is crippled. But when we move our focus off ourselves entirely, it flows sweetly.

When we get past the Fear and Self-Pride,
So many wondrous things happen.

-ESA

Eggs, Chicks and Bunnies (with story)

I don't think there is a store you can go into now that doesn't have some display of Easter-season merchandise, from the pastel-colored candy to the oh-so-cute images of chicks, bunnies and spring flowers, from the chocolate rabbits, to the plastic eggs ready to be filled with candy, coins or goodies before Easter morn.

Let's not get me started on the Easter baskets filled to overflowing with material gifts!

Once an 11-year-old Hindu neighbor, whose parents were from India, told my husband that Easter was not a religious holiday. In her defense, she's right, we've buried it under all the commercialism and corporate greed to profit from the holiday celebrations. :(

I can rant about it until I'm blue in the face or I can try some small effort to bring back the original Easter story into the material morass around us this season....

I chose the latter:
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Innocence of Eggs

The fat hen opened one eye and glared at her husband, “What’s a-a-all that ru-ru-ruckus?” she clucked.

The rooster pulled his head out from under his wing and stretched his neck toward the wall. “I’ll g-g-go see,” he replied and fluffed his feathers against the cool desert night.

With a few awkward flaps, he crested the stone and mortar wall and looked down into the courtyard. “I-i-i-it looks as i-i-if they’re br-br-bringing a cr-cr-criminal to the high pr-pr-priest,” he reported to his wife.

Before he could turn around to return to their warm nest, the hen was beside him, feathers equally fluffed against the coolness.

“Th-th-the eggs!” the rooster reprimanded.

The hen shrugged and stretched her neck as far as it could go toward the gathering crowd. “I wa-wa-want to see this,” she hissed in reply.

The majority of the crowd moved into the building, but a number of people remained outside in the courtyard, building a charcoal fire to keep warm. While the gathering outside remained peacefully quiet, there was a rising ruckus within the building.

The rooster fluttered to an open window to witness the scene inside. The sounds of buffets and cries of “Prophesy!” drifted through the window where the cockerel sat, the glint of battle and bloodlust sparkling in his eyes.

At that moment, a woman left the building on some errand. Spotting the small group gathered near the fire, she eyed one of them closely and remarked, “You also were with Yeshua (Jesus) of Nazareth.”

The man shook his head vehemently, shrugging his head deeper into his head-cloth. “I neither know nor understand what you are saying,” he replied.

Seeing a seed of potential for more conflict and violence, the rooster alighted onto the courtyard wall and crowed, “His words are tr-tr-tr-tr-TRUE!”

The hen was shocked. She knew as well as her husband that those words were a lie. Could his desire for a fight drive him to this?

She kept silent, for she didn’t want the fight brought to her nest. What would her friends and neighbors say? No, it’s best to stay silent and let the fight go on elsewhere. She turned her attention back to the group around the fire.

The woman had now turned to the others around the fire; gesturing to the man she had spoken to and said, “This is one of them.”

Again, the man denied it.

By now the rooster was hopping from foot to foot; a wicked gleam in his eyes as he watched the scene unfold below.

One of the others turned toward the man and added, “Surely you are one of them, for you are also a Galilean.”

The accused man began to curse and swear at the others gathered around the fire. “I do NOT know this man you are talking about!” he shouted at them.

With glee, the rooster tossed up his head and crowed again, “His words are tr-tr-tr-tr-TRUE!”

And the hen remained silent.

Upon hearing the rooster’s crow a second time, the man paused as if poleaxed and then broke down and wept, fleeing from the courtyard in tears.

The rooster and hen did not see what became of that man, nor of any of the others gathered around the fire, nor of those still inside the building. For at that moment, an angel of the Lord wrapped in the brilliance of Heaven appeared before them both.

Turning wrathful eyes to the rooster, the angel proclaimed, “Because you have crowed such blasphemy not once, but twice, you shall not live to see another sunrise.”

Then the angel’s glare fixed upon the hen. “Because you knew his words were false and you did NOTHING and said NOTHING, you shall also never see another morning.”

In her horror, the hen finally remembered her nest of eggs cooling in the night air. “I-i-i-if I go, wh-wh-who will ca-ca-care for our ch-ch-chicks? Wi-wi-without one of us he-he-here, how wi-wi-will they sur-sur-survive?”

The angel’s eyes moved to where the nest lay at the foot of the courtyard wall, and the wrath in those eyes became tempered with mercy. “Your chicks are innocent of these crimes. The children should not bear the burden of the sins of the parent. So I will take these with me and they will be kept safe.”

With these words, the angel gathered up the eggs, nest and all and vanished. Where they went, neither hen nor rooster knew, for they did not see the next sunrise.

But we know what became of those eggs.

For you see, on the very next Sunday morning, a very special Man walked out of a lonely tomb into the rosy light just before sunrise.

Nearby, a rabbit was nibbling quietly on some greens. This rabbit paused and shyly approached this Man. The fact that the feet of this Man had holes, as did the hands that lovingly petting it, did not disturb this rabbit at all.

The Man smiled and said to the rabbit, “Because you are the very first of My Father’s creatures to greet me this day, I have a very special task I will ask of you."

As the Man straightened, an angel appeared at His side. In his hands, the angel held the nest full of eggs, but this time additional branches had been added to the nest, woven in an arc over it. This handle enabled one to carry the nest as a basket, gently keeping the eggs safe.

The Man took the basket and handed it to the rabbit saying, “The world is full of children as innocent as these eggs. I ask that you bring these eggs to the children everywhere. Do this every year, in memory of this morning.

"In their joy of innocence, they know Me. But as their innocence fades, they must strive to seek Me, for the world will try to hide Me from their eyes. So you must hide the eggs so the children must seek them. Perhaps in this way, when their innocence fades, they will remember these mornings and seek me with the same enthusiasm and joy in their hearts. Do this in memory of Me.”

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The above story is free for all to copy/share, provided you do not make any profit from it nor change it in any way.

- ESA

Period of Renewal and Growth

Lent is often a time of preparation, a time of denial or fasting, and a time of prayer. Often we may do some aspect of this and not know why. Part of my own Lenten practices stem from the following understanding; what I refer to as the Tripod of Growth:

There are three things that will help someone grow in Spirit and Soul. These are prayer, fasting and good works. Like three legs of a tripod, they must work together in harmony and balance; too much of one or not enough of another and the whole thing will fail.

Prayer is the direct communication between humanity and God. It's not a one-way monologue, as God does communicate to us even if only our Spirit can understand it. Nor should prayer be a wish list; we need to be open and ready to change and guidance for the help we request.

Fasting does not only mean to refrain from eating or to not eat certain foods. In a broader context, fasting means abstinence (an act or practice of refraining from indulging an appetite) or a period of such abstention or self-denial. In essence, we refrain from something in our life as a means of self-discipline. It is often associated with something we enjoy, food being the most common, but also TV, internet, etc. But it can also be abstaining from something we revile about ourselves, such as lying, cheating or procrastination. When we take on the challenge of self-discipline, our strength to resist temptation grows.

Good Works are anything we can do to help another in this world. This is the daily exercise that strengthens a soul, and is the most difficult leg to develop. Often we are tempted to illustrate the good works that we've done, but that only deflates the value or our efforts as they become self-serving. The best way to accomplish personal growth, is to act anonymously or in such a way that as few people as possible know who is doing these works. The good works need to stand on their own merit without our shouting about it or putting a spotlight on it.

If it's a true good work, the act, deed, word or work WILL stand on its own. Others will see it or the results and KNOW "this is a good thing." If we can step away from it and let it shine without others recognizing us for the effort, we grow inside.

This is often best accomplished through humility. When we humbly serve another, seeking nothing for ourselves, something grows within us, opening us up to greater awareness and ways we can perform even greater works. But if we seek this greater awareness and ways first, we will only find self-pride, deception, corruption and lies, and we will be led astray by these.

This is why prayer and fasting are needed, one as a guide to the right path, the other to strengthen the shield of our defense so we are not so easily led astray.

It's a tricky path.
But worth it.
Always.

-ESA

Pari

There is something I have never told another, though I've written it often in my journal. So I have cause to dance with words a bit prior to saying what I want to say... I can be shy about things close to my heart.

Over the years, I've come to realize that God is not the Father-Son-Spirit in the way I learned as a child. There is Yeshua/Jesus who is both fully human Son as well as truly One with God. But God "the Father" isn't some old, white-haired, white-bearded guy sitting on a cloud far over our heads looking down to watch us. And the Holy Spirit is not some red flame burning in a candle holder bracketed to the wall of the church.

These are illustrations. They are metaphors. These are simple ways to explain to a child what God is.

I am no longer a child.

God is UNKNOWABLE. God is so far outside our comprehension that we can never achieve anything close to knowing what God is.

But we can and do experience various parts / manifestations / touches / expressions of God. Many of these have found their ways into the various religions of humanity. But these are, in themselves, not the full understanding of God.

While I am Christian and grew up with Catholic teachings about the Trinity, my understanding has grown and expanded to include this. Also my relationship with God has changed.

As a male human, Yeshua/Jesus would relate to God as Father, which was the teacher, the protector and head of the family unit in His time. I've wondered if the old, white-bearded image we have of God the Father is a reflection of some wise Rabbi-like image from Christ's days here.

But God is not male. God is not female. God is neither and both simultaneously. (Wrap your head around that a moment).

Now, as a female human, I do have the concept of God the Father when I pray, listen and speak with God at times. But I grew up in the late 20th century, a world where women played as much a dominant role in the workplace and homes, sometimes the only role model in some families.

Plus, let's face it, it's hard to speak to a Father about my first menstrual period, my experiences with a pregnancy, the agony of a miscarriage, the "squishyness" of a mammography, pain from ovarian cysts, concerns over cervical cancer, and gripes about natural changes and the roller-coaster of menopause. That is better suited to sharing with a Mother.

Yeshua/Jesus called God "Abba", which more precisely translated is "Daddy". To me, God is both Father and Mother. But "O Holy Parent" is a bit distant and formal. Not something I could hold dear in my heart.

So I chose "Pari" which is a familiar, child-like shortening of "Parent" akin to "Mommy" and "Daddy".

-ESA

Sweet Love

I know my husband loves me.
How do I know?
All the valentines
Told me so....

I awoke this morning to a pleasant surprise (and the answer as to why he got to bed at 2:30 this morning).

I first saw a single napkin rose sitting on the tube of toothpaste.




Then I got the main surprise as I headed into the living room.





It wasn't until after I took the pictures that I discovered what was inside. Each paper napkin rose and each paper napkin heart contained a bite-sized peanut butter cup (YUM!) - two dozen total.




The big heart actually held a bag of Jax cheese puffs; another favorite of mine.



It's little things done with Love and knowing what makes a person happy that speaks more than any high-end, store-bought item.



I know how lucky I am to have such a caring person in my life. :D



- ESA

Blind Goals

"Thy Will Be Done"

~ Words spoken in the Our Father / Lord's Prayer
~ Words felt keenly by Christ in the garden of Gethsemane
~ Words that are very difficult to live by, especially when I am blind to what God's Will is in my life


It is one thing to know a goal - whether or not I agree with it, find it difficult or even impossible - and work my way through whatever obstacles and challenges to reach that goal. It is another thing entirely to not know that goal... but still work my way blindly forward to achieve it.

Why would I work toward a goal I do not see or understand? Why would God place such a goal in my hands and expect me to reach it?

Two reasons:

First, I am not God. I am not all-seeing, all-knowing; there is a much greater knowledge and understanding of what is going on in everything from my small, personal life to the vast reaches of all Creation.

So if I try to reach a goal - I'll be doing it MY way. Many times the ends does not justify the means. Many times what I will do to reach a goal will actually hinder my efforts - or worse - harm another or their efforts in obtaining their goals. There is often a better way of reaching the goal, even when I'm not aware of it.

That leads to the second reason: TRUST.

If I don't know where I'm going or - more precisely - what I need to do in this world, I need to learn to put more trust in God that I will be guided.

It is hard. I get in my own way time after time. Often I see a glimmer of what I think is the goal and I take reins back and say, "Thanks, I'll take it from here" and wind up misdirected.

But whenever I run into a dead-end, God is there - sometimes laughing at me; sometimes laughing with me - ready to take my outstretched hand and guide me again to His Will in my life.

Yes, there is also the risk of being misguided by others. That is where prayer helps - an open two-way communication - AND walking with my eyes open even though I don't see the distant goal ahead.

Just because I am blind to my life's goals doesn't mean I am blind about my own actions and what is happening around me. I still am responsible for my own actions, the words I speak / write, the works of my own hands, and the times I've stood aside and did nothing.

In addition to the two aforementioned reasons, I've just thought of another.... How many times have I worried, thought about, planned, dreamed and imagined what the future will be like - anything from what will happen in the far distant future to what will I have for lunch today? Too often.

In my mind I often live in the past or the future and fail to live in the NOW. To simply "BE" in my life. But that is where my life really should be lived; the rest is just in my head. The present is where the biggest impact is made in life - mine and how I impact the lives of others.

So I should learn from the past
Let God take care of the future
And put my Trust in His guidance

- ESA

The Fisherman (Story)

This is another story I wrote and wanted to share with my readers here. Please enjoy. :)
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The dawn had barely kissed the eastern horizon, lightening the clouds with a peach blush when the fisherman reached the dock slip where his boat was tied. Piled in his arms was an old but well-maintained net that carried the scent of fish and saltwater within its webbing. The morning breeze was gentle but continuous; gulls and other seabirds called to one another as they rode the air currents rolling along the shore.

The lone fisherman lowered his bundle to the dock and climbed down into his small boat, transferring the net to its place at the bow. This was once a pleasurable weekend past-time, but lean times had come to his part of world. He lost his job a month ago and his wife was barely holding on to the part-time clerical job she had. While their meager savings helped keep a roof over their head, the days he could dedicate to fishing helped keep food on the table and -- on occasion -- bring in a little more money too.

Checking the fuel gauge on the tank, he pumped the knob on the line to bring gas up to the outboard motor clamped to the back of his small boat. Habitually, he checked around the propeller to make sure it was clear and yanked the line hard, starting the little motor humming.

While alone in his boat, he wasn't the only one on the docks this hour. Several other fishermen were also underway - seemingly more every day he went out; all bringing home smaller catches. Pondering this, he maneuvered his small craft away from the docks and into the open water, where he cranked the motor to full power and felt the familiar vibrations run through his palm and up his arm.

He decided to try his favorite spot one last time, hoping to catch something. He got there early, cut the motor and cast his net into the sea. He poured himself a cup of still-hot coffee from his thermos and watched the waters beside his quiet boat. Not a ripple, not a stir. The larger fishing vessels chugged past him at a respectable distance, heading out to deeper waters. What would be the catch today? he wondered.

After a while, he concluded that, once again, there would be no fish here today. He grunted with the effort of hauling in the dripping nets, arranging them as he drew them in, so he could recast them. He started his motor and turned the bow toward where the larger vessels had gone. I'll find some fish in the deeper waters, he told himself, not really convinced. The motor's hum became a roar as he opened the throttle fully and the little boat leapt ahead.

Once he reached the deeper water, he cut the motor and paused, waiting and watching to see if the fish would approach. While he waited, he choked down a sandwich, ignoring the tang of the salt that transfered from his hands to the bread. First one, then another, soon a small school swam past and under his boat, as it rocked gently on the waves. Ah, this will do nicely, he thought. He cast his net into the sea and waited, hoping to have some catch to take home to his family. But doubt still enshrouded his heart, casting the small hope in darkness.

Even though fish swam past his boat, when he hauled in the net for the second time, it was as before - empty. The fisherman cursed as he hauled the heavy wet net onboard. I can't come home empty-handed again. Not again! He arranged the net for one final attempt and then sat in the stern to consider his next and final location carefully. The sun had already started its decent, and the gentle breeze had turned gusty bringing the scent of distant rain. The fisherman cast his eyes heavenward and called out "Hey, up there! Can't you help a man out down here? I'm just trying to feed my family. That's all! Give a guy a break whydon'tcha?"

Not waiting for an answer, he yanked the cord on the motor taking out some of his frustration. He checked the gauge on the tank and calculated where he was to go by what he needed to get back to shore, pushing further out. When he reached the last place, he spied fish coursing just below the surface, practically leaping out of the water as their dorsal fins broke through to the salty air. The fisherman grinned ear-to-ear. He cut the motor and cast the net immediately from his boat that was lightly tossed by the rolling waves.

He waited and he watched. He watched and he waited. The fish danced to their own rhythms beneath the waves - all deftly avoiding his net. As the sun sank in the western sky, dark clouds moved in quickly to cover it. The wind blew fiercer, tasting of rain now - cold and damp to the skin. The fisherman shivered and cursed even harder as he yanked in the net for the last time. In his anger, he tore it, setting off a long string of curse words and any thing his mind could use to season them. He started the motor and kicked the empty net before him in disgust. Turning his little boat around, he headed back to shore. All that money for the dock rental and the gas to run this stupid boat out here - WASTED! He was in a foul mood by the time he reached the docking slip. The sky was leaden grey with the approaching sunset and incoming storm, helping to further darken his spirits.

When the fisherman reached his slip, he saw a man sitting there dangling his feet from the dock. He appeared to be in his early thirties, dressed in jeans and a loose fitting shirt below his shoulder-length hair, a very common sight among the docks. When the man saw him approach, he smiled brightly through his beard, then got up and helped to guide the boat home into its berth as through he had done this countless times before.

"Thanks," the fisherman grumbled, "but if you're looking to buy some fish from me tonight, you're out of luck. My net was empty all day. I don't even have a catch to share with my family."

"That's a shame," replied the stranger as he turned to face the wind and water, "I know there are fish out there." Then his contemplative look brightened. "Say! I know a spot that always has fish; it's not too far from shore either." He turned to the fisherman with a light sparkling in his eyes. "I could show you if you'd like."

The fisherman shook his head wearily as he hauled the net up onto the dock. "Sorry. It's getting late and I have no running lights for night. Besides," he scowled, "I tore my net hauling in the last cast. I need to take it home and repair it."

The stranger sat down beside the dripping net, ignoring the pool of water that snaked its way toward his dry jeans. "I can help there; I know how to mend nets." As if he knew where to go, his hand reached out and found the place the net was torn. Deftly, he worked the webbing and knotted the hole closed. Then he handed the section back to the fisherman to inspect.

The fisherman was awestruck. "How did you do that so quickly?"

The stranger smiled openly and laughed an easy laugh. "I've had lots of practice over the years."

The fisherman studied the stranger a moment, not sure what to say or make of this man.

"Shall I show you this spot I know?" the stranger asked again.

"Uh... Thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate you helping me with my net, but I'm also out of gas. I don't think you can magically make my gas tank full again...?" he chuckled with a blend of amusement and sarcasm.

"I don't need to," the stranger replied as he rose to his feet and pointed to the oars lying on either side of the boat.

The fisherman barked a bitter laugh. "I don't know about you, but my arms are tired from hauling this net in and out three times today."

Wordlessly, the stranger hopped down into the boat, placed the oars in the oarlocks and sat ready to pull them with hands that were used to hard work.

The fisherman stood there mute and dumb. Maybe I fell asleep out there and I'm dreaming all this... He shrugged and hauled his net back into the boat, sitting down beside it as the stranger pulled against the oars setting them back out across the water again.

The fisherman pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed-dial button. "Yeah, it's just me. I wanted to tell you I'll be getting home a bit later... No, I'm fine. There's a guy here that wants to show me a spot where the fish are. We shouldn't be long... Don't worry. I'll be careful.... Yes, I see the rain too. I should have time enough for one last trip before full dark though.... OK, love you too."

As the stranger checked their course over his shoulder and started a rhythmic rowing he faced the fisherman and asked, "Have you ever read the children's book 'The Little Engine That Could'?"

The fisherman smiled, "Yeah. When my kids were young. That was one of their favorites. 'I think I can, I think I can...' Why do you ask?"

"Why haven't you listened to the book's message?"

"What message?"

The stranger paused and let the boat drift forward under its own momentum. "You need to believe in something to make it happen."

"That works for kids, but reality sets in when your an adult."

The stranger shook his head, "It's the same no matter your age. That's why children can understand it better. They don't have the false notions that life places in our heads when we're older. If you think you can - you can. That's it."

"So what does that have to do with where the fish are?"

He released one oar to gesture over the rippling water as the oncoming storm's wind created whitecaps around them. "There is your hill." Then he pointed to the net. "There is your train. Haul it over the hill if you can."

I've got a loony in my boat, the man thought to himself, but he stood up to cast the net once again, trusting the stranger for some unknown reason.

"You don't have the right mindset," scolded the stranger with a gentle smile. "You really need to think it. Not just think it, but believe it with your whole heart."

"The 'I think I can, I think I can' thing?"

"Exactly! Try it. Trust in yourself. Trust that the fish will be there and that they will come into your net."

The fisherman shrugged and cast the net out again. Immediately there was a tug on the lines. Both men watched over the side of the rocking boat as the fish streamed into the net, weighing it down tremendously. The stranger laughed in delight, "See! I told you! It's a great spot." The two worked side by side hauling in the net. The net was so full of fish; it could not be hauled into the boat, even with their joint efforts. "Let's pull into the shore there," the stranger suggested pointing toward the beach. "The people there can help."

The fisherman hung unto the net dearly as the stranger rowed toward the shore with renewed energy. The fisherman's heart sang in joy. "What a catch! Can you believe it? In all my years, I've never seen the like!"

"I have. It's great - something wonderful!"

"It is," the fisherman agreed and grinned ear-to-ear despite the rain that started to pour down on their heads. The rain passed quickly and the dark clouds with it. By the time they reached the shore, the sun was peeking below the clouds, and kissed the western horizon. Soaked head-to-toe and still elated, the fisherman called to those on the shore. "Ahoy! If you could help us haul in this catch, I'll share it with you. Com'on! We need the help!"

Puzzled looks were exchanged between the onlookers, but they waded out into the water. First one, then two, soon a whole group gathered taking the net in hand and following the fisherman's instructions to safely land the huge catch they had made.

While they were hauling in the net, the fisherman turned to the stranger beside him, also tugging on the heavy net. "You've earned at least half of this for showing me what you did." I'll share my half with these people; you can take home or sell the rest - whatever you want."

The stranger smiled and shook his head. "I don't need any of this catch, not now. But I will ask you a boon."

"Whatever you want. You've made my day."

"There are others who are hungry. Take what you would give to me and feed them."

The last words rung a chord somewhere deep inside the fisherman and he paused in shocked stillness a moment. With an overwhelming feeling of awe, he slowly turned to face the man beside him -- to really take a good hard look at who he was -- but that man was gone, leaving him to distribute the catch and head home with a remarkable "fish story" to tell.

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As author, I give you the right to copy, share and re-post the story provided it is not changed and provided you do not gain any monetary profit in doing so.

- ESA

Tempered by Fire (Story)

I heard this story over the radio last year and it came to mind over the last few days, so I wanted to share it with my readers.

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A firefighter was going through a house that was completely destroyed by fire.

Sifting through the warm ash, his fingers found these white ceramic pieces.


All it took was lightly dusting the ash from them, and the pieces shown bright and beautiful, practically the same as the day they arrived at the house.

Everything else was gone.


Moved by what he had found, he asked the homeowner if he could keep one.


Surprised and still in shock over all she had lost... the homeowner mutely nodded her assent.


A few days later, that firefighter was speaking with some of his friends who were going through a very difficult period in their life. One had lost a job, the other ill, their roof leaked and the bills just kept piling up.....


The firefighter pulled the white ceramic piece from his pocket and held it up for them to see.


He explained how he came to find it.


Then, he explained why it meant so much to him.


"This was tempered in fire before it was ever brought into that house. While everything else in that house was destroyed by that terrible fire, these pieces survived. If they hadn't gone through the fire first, they would have been destroyed."

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Sometimes we need to go through one fire to become strong enough for even greater challenges in life that would otherwise destroy us completely.

-ESA

Live For You

There is a statement of unyielding commitment that goes "I would die for you." But I propose there are times where it is more difficult to say, "I would LIVE for you."

If we are young, healthy and have life spread before us like an unblemished cloak stretching to the distant horizon, the concept of ending life is frightening; the sacrifice of one's life is great.



But if we are feeling the effects of illness, age, disability, acute pain, severe depression, or face a future with a long struggle, pain or horrors that rear large in our fear, death can be a friend and release from the suffering in life. Some are given that while others are called to continue to struggle with the hardships of this life.


It is in those times when it takes a great deal of love, commitment and courage to say, "I will LIVE for you."



The easy path can be presented in a number of ways. But there exists a wondrous strength within those who have decided to continue to struggle, to fight no matter what mountain (s)he must climb.

You can see it in their eyes; a part of their soul.

-ESA