Learning to Ride

When I was a small girl (younger than that picture), my dad taught me how to ride my first "two-wheel" bike. Like many my age, I had "training wheels" at first to allow my limbs to grow used to the differences between a tricycle and bicycle.

Then there was the fateful day when my dad, observing me, determined it was time for the training wheels to come off. I was so very afraid that I would fall. To ease that fear, he offered to jog along beside the bicycle holding onto the back of the seat. If my balance wasn't too steady, his hand would be there to keep me from falling.

Encouraged, I let him take the training wheels off and -- still trepidatious -- got on the bike. I started pedaling on the concrete-block sidewalk in front of our house, heading down the block. The ground was level and it took some effort on my part to keep those wheels moving and the bike upright.

At the first tree, halfway across our small front yard, I looked behind. My dad was still there, hand still on the back of the seat. I got a little more courage and looked ahead again.

At the border with the neighbors yard, I peeked again. And again, he was still there, hand still on the bike. It was then I put all my trust in his guidance and focused entirely on pedaling the bike and keeping it upright.

When I reached the tree that marked the center of my neighbor's yard, I peeked again. My dad was still jogging along beside my bike, but his hand was NOT on the seat. So what happened? I became afraid. I became terrified that without his support - or my training wheels - I would fall. And what happened?

I fell of course.

With scraped knee and elbow, I cried tears of distress and betrayal. Oh, how upset I was that my dad let go when he promised he was going to hold on.

He lovingly soothed my tears and explained that he only let go when he saw that I was able to ride on my own. He had faith in me.

He would not take the bike back to our house. He refused to put the training wheels back on. He would not let me walk home without the bike. The only choice I had was to get back on the bike and try again.

My dad promised he would run beside me and hold on to the seat until I had my balance back.

The scene repeated. At first, he held on, then he let go as I gained my balance was was able to ride on my own. It felt good knowing he was right there beside me. Confidence grew and I started to pedal harder, the bike started moving forward faster with renewed energy.

The third house and tree passed, then the fourth. By the time I reached the fifth tree, I started to laugh. I was RIDING A TWO-WHEEL BIKE WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS LIKE THE BIG KIDS!!!

In the shade of the sixth tree, I glanced over my shoulder; my dad was still there. So I looked ahead and enjoyed the ride. When I reached the seventh tree, I heard a shout from my father. He had stopped at the sixth tree. I had ridden all that distance all by myself! Again, fear seized me for the moment. I was ALL ALONE!

And I fell to the sidewalk again.

And I cried - again.

Knowing I was not seriously hurt, my dad causally reached out with his arm and leaned against the sixth tree, unmoving. "Look at how far you went!" he called. "Look at what you did on your own! You can do it. You DID do it. Look at the distance."

"Now, get back on that bike and try again" 

 + + +

There are two reasons I share this memory with my readers today. One, it's Father's Day, and while my Father no longer walks in this world, I still have loving memories to share. The reason I share this memory, though, is that many of us may have similar stories when they first learned to ride a bike. And in this small parent-to-child way, parallels our relationship with God.

God watches over us and knows when we are ready to try something new and grow as we should. We will have help and guidance as we take those few first steps into the new experience. Then we are allowed to try our wings, for that experience will help us grow. There will be times when we are afraid, and in our fear - we fall. But God, like my dad, also encourages us to get back up and try again, because He has faith in us too.

~ ESA

Divisions and Fear

Someone once asked me what I value most in this world. My response was, "Seeing other people cross dividing lines and work together.

There are many in this world who would divide. We are divided by geography, income, politics, religions, genders, lifestyle, cultures, and languages. Some thrill at diving people and putting each in our place.

But are we not all one - humanity? Do we not all have the same color blood running in our veins? Do we not all live under the same sky, where the moon and sun touch our lives?

I've even seen fellow Christians bicker among themselves over who has what right.

People quote the bible as an excuse to draw lines. "If you're not with me; you're against me!" or "Christ came to divide sheep and goats, so I am called to do likewise!"


Say WHAT?!?

Do you really believe that is what Jesus / Yeshua wants? Did He not tend to the Roman centurion and the Samaritans as well as the Jews? Did He not reach out to everyone who crossed his path, and tell a beautiful story of blessing for the one that stepped across a dividing line to help a fellow human being?

Christ asks that we love each other and work together - not divide ourselves, fight, and hate each other. That is the teachings of the adversary.

Once, I attended a healing Mass with my husband and in-laws. My mother-in-law is Protestant, and thus cannot receive communion in the Catholic church. When the priest saw that she did not come up, he approached her after finishing the line. She refused demurely. When asked why, she explained that she was Protestant and not allowed. To emphasize, she put her hands before her mouth.

The priest pulled down her hands, put the Eucharist in her palms and said firmly, "That doesn't matter." There were whispers all around us; many had plans to report this priest to the church. But I Bless this priest for what he had done. He crossed that line to extend Love.

Fear divides us from our fellow human beings. We fear them, whether we see that as despising them, hating them, or cutting ourselves from them. We are running as fast as we can in the opposite direction, even when we don't admit it to ourselves.

Fear can also be used by others to keep us quiet, obedient to their greed and desires, and have us fight each other. Fear is used to divide us. Fear is used to keep us from saying or doing something to change things - especially when things should be changed!

Why?

Because, division is the antithesis of what humanity is actually growing towards and what we can be. There is a statement that practically screams from my being when I see how much fear has crippled what we can be.

We can achieve far more together than the sum of our individual efforts.

Together - as one.

When we are divided and running in so many different directions, we fail in that.

How much can we do working together? Even as recent as one generation ago, we walked on the surface of the moon.

But we can do much more. When people work together, they erase the dividing lines. They unite in heart and mind and create something strong and lasting.

We create a better world, a brighter world.

We come up with solutions to life's problems, with no loss to any, no answering to corporate greed that sees the poor masses beneath its notice.

We bring Peace into our lives and our world. 

We bring Love to live in our lives and the lives of every one of our sisters and brothers.

We are all one, though fear tries to tell us differently.  Let Light shine to dissolve the fear - and bring us a better world.

~ ESA

First Bike Ride (True Story)

When I was a small girl, my dad taught me how to ride my first "two-wheel" bike. Like many my age, I had "training wheels" at first to allow my limbs to grow used to the differences between a tricycle and bicycle.

Then there was the fateful day when my dad, observing me, determined it was time for the training wheels to come off. I was so very afraid that I would fall. To ease that fear, he offered to jog along beside the bicycle holding onto the back of the seat. If my balance wasn't too steady, his hand would be there to keep me from falling.

Encouraged, I let him take the training wheels off and -- still trepidatious -- got on the bike. I started pedaling on the concrete-block sidewalk in front of our house, heading down the block. The ground was level and it took some effort on my part to keep those wheels moving and the bike upright.

At the first tree, halfway across our small front yard, I looked behind. My dad was still there, hand still on the back of the seat. I got a little more courage and looked ahead again.

At the border with the neighbors yard, I peeked again. And again, he was still there, hand still on the bike. It was then I put all my trust in his guidance and focused entirely on pedaling the bike and keeping it upright.

When I reached the tree that marked the center of my neighbor's yard, I peeked again. My dad was still jogging along beside my bike, but his hand was NOT on the seat. So what happened? I became afraid. I became terrified that without his support - or my training wheels - I would fall. And what happened?

I fell of course.

With scraped knee and elbow, I cried tears of distress and betrayal. Oh, how upset I was that my dad let go when he promised he was going to hold on. He lovingly soothed my tears and explained that he only let go when he saw that I was able to ride on my own. He had faith in me.

He would not take the bike back to our house. He refused to put the training wheels back on. He would not let me walk home without the bike. The only choice I had was to get back on the bike and try again.

My dad promised he would run beside me and hold on to the seat until I had my balance back.

The scene repeated. At first, he held on, then he let go as I gained my balance was was able to ride on my own. It felt good knowing he was right there beside me. Confidence grew and I started to pedal harder, the bike started moving forward faster with renewed energy.

The third house and tree passed, then the fourth. By the time I reached the fifth tree, I started to laugh. I was RIDING A TWO-WHEEL BIKE WITHOUT TRAINING WHEELS LIKE THE BIG KIDS!!!

In the shade of the sixth tree, I glanced over my shoulder; my dad was still there. So I looked ahead and enjoyed the ride. When I reached the seventh tree, I heard a shout from my father. He had stopped at the sixth tree. I had ridden all that distance all by myself! Again, fear seized me for the moment. I was ALL ALONE!

And I fell to the sidewalk again.

And I cried - again.

Knowing I was not seriously hurt, my dad causally reached out with his arm and leaned against the sixth tree, unmoving. "Look at how far you went!" he called. "Look at what you did on your own! You can do it. You DID do it. Look at the distance."

"Now, get back on that bike and try again"

+ + +

The reason I share this memory with my readers this morning is that I came to realize something. To me, God is like my dad in this small way.

God watches over us and knows when we are ready to try something new and grow as we should. We will have help and guidance as we take those few first steps into the new experience. And there are times when we are allowed to try our wings, for that experience will help us to grow. There will be times when we are afraid, and in our fear - we fall. But God, like my dad, also encourages us to get back up and try again, because He has faith in us too.

- ESA

Period of Renewal and Growth

Lent is often a time of preparation, a time of denial or fasting, and a time of prayer. Often we may do some aspect of this and not know why. Part of my own Lenten practices stem from the following understanding; what I refer to as the Tripod of Growth:

There are three things that will help someone grow in Spirit and Soul. These are prayer, fasting and good works. Like three legs of a tripod, they must work together in harmony and balance; too much of one or not enough of another and the whole thing will fail.

Prayer is the direct communication between humanity and God. It's not a one-way monologue, as God does communicate to us even if only our Spirit can understand it. Nor should prayer be a wish list; we need to be open and ready to change and guidance for the help we request.

Fasting does not only mean to refrain from eating or to not eat certain foods. In a broader context, fasting means abstinence (an act or practice of refraining from indulging an appetite) or a period of such abstention or self-denial. In essence, we refrain from something in our life as a means of self-discipline. It is often associated with something we enjoy, food being the most common, but also TV, internet, etc. But it can also be abstaining from something we revile about ourselves, such as lying, cheating or procrastination. When we take on the challenge of self-discipline, our strength to resist temptation grows.

Good Works are anything we can do to help another in this world. This is the daily exercise that strengthens a soul, and is the most difficult leg to develop. Often we are tempted to illustrate the good works that we've done, but that only deflates the value or our efforts as they become self-serving. The best way to accomplish personal growth, is to act anonymously or in such a way that as few people as possible know who is doing these works. The good works need to stand on their own merit without our shouting about it or putting a spotlight on it.

If it's a true good work, the act, deed, word or work WILL stand on its own. Others will see it or the results and KNOW "this is a good thing." If we can step away from it and let it shine without others recognizing us for the effort, we grow inside.

This is often best accomplished through humility. When we humbly serve another, seeking nothing for ourselves, something grows within us, opening us up to greater awareness and ways we can perform even greater works. But if we seek this greater awareness and ways first, we will only find self-pride, deception, corruption and lies, and we will be led astray by these.

This is why prayer and fasting are needed, one as a guide to the right path, the other to strengthen the shield of our defense so we are not so easily led astray.

It's a tricky path.
But worth it.
Always.

-ESA

Lifting my Voice (Poem)

I needed some time to myself, but now... I want to sing, I want to shout! I want to tell the world what I'm about.

Why am I so shy and hesitant in what I say - more each day...

I giggle, stay silent - I just want to hide... rather than plainly state what I feel inside.

Yesterday and then again today, someone said he saw wisdom in what I had to say...

And yet I hesitate and hold back. Is it simply courage that I lack?

I need to change, to grow... to become something more than what I know!

I was told change is NOT something to fear...

But something that instead should be treasured dear.

The enemy uses fear to stop us as we progress, each hesitation is a measure of his success.

I should start to again blog this, and share with any who may witness...

Fear NOT the change.

Through it we grow.

Let that show.

- ESA

Crossing Bridges

Last night, I took down one of my YouTube accounts and prepared the other for a long hiatus. I've also closed my DailyMotion account. It's hard leaving that behind and untouched as I would check on them several times a day. (This is why I avoid Twittering. :D )

I'll try to write a little something here each day as well as continue to add stories to my other blog.

My feet reach the last boards, the hollow thumping has now become a firm thud of supported surface. I turn and glance over my shoulder, seeing the place I have just departed. I've closed all avenues between there and here, except for the bridge I just crossed. Shall I burn it completely too, or do I leave this one span open in case someone wants to find me? There were many good memories from that last place, some even connecting to far older memories that have long since been cut from the tapestry of my life, only to be stiched back in, creating a patern anew.

I step off the bridge and face the path before me, head held up and heart ready for what awaits me in the future. May God guide me on this new path as well.

Time to move on.

- ESA