Please Don't Be Angry...

Those who know me well, know I truly enjoy rhyming on Twitter. There are days when I find myself too busy to tweet or write. But there are also other times I need to steer clear from Twitter because, inside, something is not right. While I am still not that comfortable sharing some inner struggles with my readers, this wanted to be shared...


Most of my readers are at least familiar with the Gospel accounts of Yeshua/Jesus the Christ. Many will agree that He loves all of us, even shared company with those who others believed were the dregs of society. He wept with some; He laughed with many. But He would get angry too...


The accounts that spring to my mind are times when His temper flared. He mocked, yelled, even trashed a temple market place. When I look back over the accounts, I find that Christ didn't get THAT mad at every person's sins / mistakes. What really fired Him up was when those who were called to bring people to God (or at least played that part in society), were not doing what they should. Instead, those people were lapping up the benefits of the spotlight, the best seat, the riches, the belief that they were the favored/chosen ones well above all, worthy to judge and belittle the rest. Yet they saw no blemish within themselves.

In a round-about way, that's what brings me to periods of silence on Twitter. I Love Yeshua/Jesus with all my heart. I don't want ANYthing to come between us, even my own stubborn stupidity at times. I understand the ramifications of taking on the twitter name of @JesusSister. While I love Him as dear as a little sister loves, admires, respects and wants to imitate her big Brother, I also know my place: that is OUTside the spotlight.

As any who are in the spotlight can tell you, regardless if it's the entertainment industry, political arena, office politics or even the family favorite: the spotlight feels good. Kudos and praise from others are very, very sweet, like a rich dessert. But like a dessert's calories, the spotlight has a price too.

When someone speaks on affairs of the soul, of God, or starts the path to uplift the spirits of another, we have a responsibility. We need to continue on a path that let's GOD shine - not us. It is so easy - so very, very easy - to be caught up in the euphoria of public praise, even just a few people's high-opinion, that we can start thinking ourselves above them, better than them. So very smoothly we transition from a voice guiding someone to the loving arms of God to the very same hearts and minds of the pharisee's that Christ raged against.

There are days such sweet praise encourages me to continue to share the blessings and nuggets. At the same time, I grow very frightened for I do not want to become like the Pharisee's or similar modern-day preachers and prophets.

• Wow wow wow, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you SO much : )
• TY, dear one. Lovely words, as always. You truly are a positive influence on many!
• I sooooo ℓσνє your poetic gιfтιиg. It cheers and encourages my нєαят. May God bless u in those spectacular of ways. ツ
• That was beautiful, TY!
• Sincerity of Heart in it's fervency demonstrates the Love of God for all to see...this you do Little Sister,this you do! :)
• Your tweet made my day and gave me hope, thank u sister
• You really know how to lift a sister up. ツ
• Ur words r divine......:)))
• she is smart
• Amen! And thank you for this.
• a message to the Soul so fair.. -you do the fine rhyme
• You have been blessed with the gift of being able to write what other can only feel but have no words for.
• caring heart, abounding in His Love!
• Love your tweets!! :)
• @JesusSister is such a blessing. Her poetical gifting is simply marvelous. Please #ff her.
• Please follow @JesusSister ... Follower her as I follow Christ..... #agape

I think the last one nails where I am trying to go with this. It frightens me! Glory & praise should be for God, not me. Yes, I do need the encouragement and I sincerely appreciate the kind words sent my way. I know they are from good hearts who are not trying to entrap me. Please don't think I am saying that.

But at the same time, I need to watch myself all the closer when such sweet praise comes. I can not lap it up. I cannot grow fat with it. I cannot sit in the spotlight for the Song in my heart that I sing isn't from me alone.

Humility.

I need humility so bad some days it hurts within and tears flow. I really don't want Christ mad at me. I love Him too much. The spotlight here should never be so sweet that I want it instead of Christ's smile. Instead, I turn to Yeshua/Jesus, away from Twitter, and wait patiently until the sparkles fade and I can sing notes clearly again. Without Him, all my words would be only to bring myself praise, and thus wither on the vine.

Without Christ, my Song will turn bitter
I see myself above brothers and sisters
Instead of beside them where I belong
Where Christ still is today...

- ESA

Battle With Oreos

This past week, I've tried NOT to eat the oreo cookies in the recently-restocked vending box down the hall from my office. Recently, I read something on using root-cause-analysis to understand "temptations" I see in this world. And, to anyone who loves oreo cookies and is trying to loose weight, the call of the oreos mere steps away certainly a temptation. ;-)

Why do I want to eat those oreo cookies? Well, at first, I admitted that the kid in me likes to open it up, eat the middle and then the cookies - especially with a glass of milk, just like the commercials. But looking only a bit deeper, I had to admit a strong pull was the "comfort food" factor.

Why do I have the need for comfort food? (<-- part of getting to the root cause) I have some lack within me that seeks to be met - to be comforted and made happy. The oreo cookies take me back to a happy, safe time as a child when I didn't have worries over bills to pay, a job to keep, and other stresses of adult life. A bag of potato chips may call up happy memories of gatherings with friends or family, even when I can polish off most of it sitting alone in front of a TV...

Why do I have the need to be comforted NOW when I didn't then? With this question, still in mind, I spent the day with extended family including 7 kids. Not having been blessed with children of my own, it's amazing soon how I forget that they easily express themselves without holding to the strictures of "personal space" that adults do. Granted, this ranges from temper tantrums and tears, to sudden hugs when they are happy. Growing up, I learned strict limitations in broaching another's "personal space." Most contacts are limited to handshakes and pass the salt. There are no touches on an arm or shoulder and certainly no spontaneous hugs.

Why are there strictures of "personal space" that I obey? When a psychological aspect of "personal space", which is space in the immediate vicinity of the person's body, is looked at, am I not drawing a line that says everything within this space is "I, me, myself, mine" and everything outside is "you and yours"? But in reality, am I not interconnected to all as I live my life? Do I not rely on someone else's work for the food I eat, the shelter I live in, and everything that I need or use in this life. There is also the trees used to build my shelter, the animals/fish for my meat, the bees that pollinate the plants I eat, etc. So in essence, I am quite interconnected to both other people and other things in this world.

But when I draw a line around myself and focus on "I, me, myself, mine", I fail to recognize that interconnectedness. The simple act of a child's hug shouts gladly, "You are a part of my life; what you do makes me happy!" I may say the words "thank you" or nod, or even forget to do those simple things. I've cut myself from others and from the world around me.

And with that void, I've tried to fill that loss with oreo cookies. That is a sorry replacement indeed. So instead of oreo cookies, perhaps I should seek the company of coworkers or share a hug with someone.

Many lives
One world
Interconnected

-ESA

Distractions

It's amazing how many distractions I can find in my life if I just sit back and take the time to notice that they are there. I've had several great topics I wanted to blog, friend's emails I wanted to reply to, friends and relatives I mean to call, time I need to spend with my husband... things that should get done but gets swept away by petty, little -- and sadly pointless -- distractions.

Distractions are little things I will turn my attention to instead of that which I should do. This can be a game, sudoku puzzle, surfing the internet aimlessly, reading a book, and many other things that, by themselves, aren't bad to indulge in but do not need to be done before that which should be done.

This will most often happens when I find that which I should do as difficult or uncomfortable. The distractions bring a sense of comfort, familiarity, fun or similar feelings. For example, in writing this blog alone, I have been distracted and have:

• written a list of other ideas to blog
• loaded a program on my boss' computer
• chatted with someone
• read other people's blogs
• watched videos posted on the internet
• looked up which founding father mentioned "an armed and educated populace" is an essential thing <-- and that one took a good chunk of time
  
  
• helped my boss look for a lost wallet
• written to someone about the "armed and educated populace" findings
• further chatted with people...

You get the idea... I was even having distractions distract me from the original distractions. LOL This has taken three hours of time wherein this blog (and the others on that list) could have been done.

What's wrong with distractions (other than not getting work done)? They can mislead us from what we should do, what we should hear, what we should see, where we should be. Like a child being led away with the promise of candy and fun times, we can let the little distractions that infiltrate our activities lead us away from what we should do in this life.

Distractions are little temptations. Temptation will not come in the form of a winged devil offering you the best the world can offer and all you have to do is say yes or no. It can come in the form of tiny little distractions, procrastinations and deviations that can lead us astray, one sidestep at a time.

In the end, when we look back on our lives, what will we see? Will we see the achievements we've accomplished, the good that we've done, the people that we have helped, or will we see all the little distractions that, in the end, really amount to nothing.

When I see what the little distractions can do in my life, I see where I need to shoulder my burdens a bit better and, like a quarterback with those really big shoulder-pads, take the treasure of the goal I wish to accomplish in my arms and plunge my way through all the little distractions that try to tackle me and take me down before I can reach my objective.

The ball is in your hands now.
Will you fumble
Or score

- ESA