From Tears to Tools

Two correspondents are dealing with judgmental people, in particular ones that feel that it is their right and responsibility to tell others how to live. Sadly, there are some who believe that if people do not follow their particular religious beliefs and/or practices, they are "damned." I've heard the frustration and tears from those attacked, and offer some tools.

To the Judges, remember: "Judge not lest you be judged." If you tell anyone else to toe the line of a particular law, YOU will be the one accountable for every law, from shellfish and polyester, to burnt sacrifices at the Temple in Jerusalem at the appropriate time and date. Instead, I plead with you: Love and Forgive. For in doing so, you are also Forgiven.

This post, however, is addressed primarily to those who suffer from judges.

We cannot change or control how another thinks or acts. We can only change how we respond to that person. I will acknowledge that this can be hard, particularly when that person is a friend, spouse, or family member. They know how to push our buttons, and can hurt us more deeply.

In every situation we encounter, there is only one decision that needs to be made: Do we want to share God's Love, or do we want to be right? One speaks to the spirit; the other to the ego.

When angry, frustrated or upset, we speak and act through our ego. Only an ego can talk to another ego, and they do not communicate at all.

The ego insists that we fight, defend, issue "pre-emptive strikes" in the name of defense, and that we are right and all others are wrong. My ego even had the gall to tell me that Yeshua/Jesus Himself is wrong! That's a pretty highly-inflated mindset we can have.

But we are not in our right mindset when we think like that. The ego is also how the adversary /devil/negativity influences our minds and skews our perceptions. So we need to learn to be more spirit-minded.

While WE cannot change a person's perspective, God can. Thus we should pray in the silence of our heart, and be patient, allowing God to work things out in Divine ways and timing. There's a much bigger picture than we see.

The reason I add "in the silence of our heart" is that people toss into a heated argument, "I will pray for you." Or better yet, "God make this person UNDERSTAND that (s)he is wrong!" Even with good intentions, this only triggers more anger and defensiveness.

We should also pray for ourselves; God helps us think with the right mindset (spirit vs. ego) when we ask.

If we find that we cannot get into the right mindset, especially if the other person knows just how and when to hit those hot buttons, there is another simple tactic we can use.

We need to see the other person through God's eyes. Our ego tells us they are wrong, judgmental, rude, etc. Our spirit sees that at least one perception has been skewed; perhaps both, as it takes two to argue.

God looks upon the person and sees a beloved son or daughter.

While the image to the left comforts when we face life's challenges, it can also be a tool. When someone hurts, angers or frustrates us, we can picture that person in God's arms too.

It's amazing how this changes heart, mind and perspective.

The human mind is capable of a lot more than most understand. We can use it to harm one another, or help one another. We choose between spirit-mindset and ego-mindset.

When someone attacks me, saying how their way is the only way, I try to step back and see how God views this person. They are loved. They may be perceiving through the ego at the moment. But they are loved. So I offer my prayers to God and love to that person.

Let go; Let God
It's in better Hands
~ESA

Gay Marriage

I may get some flack for this post, or loose followers of this blog or Twitter. But I must not play to the crowd; Yeshua (Jesus) never did.

When I read a blog post titled "Can a Real Christian Support Gay Marriage?" my first response was, "Why wouldn't a follower of Christ want someone to have a "happy marriage"? After all, that is the original definition of the word "gay."

But, I also knew the post was likely in response to the news that Obama admitted his support for gay marriage. I will also take a brave stand to say I see nothing wrong with it. It's not my chosen lifestyle, but I will not - ever - attack another for it. Nor would I deny them the right to make a relationship as committed as the one I share with my husband.

Look at the relationship between Ruth and Naomi: "Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God." The focus of marriage should always be relationship first: the complete commitment to give oneself wholly and completely to the other, without reservation, from that point forward, to death or beyond. If the relationship is one of great commitment without reservation, why do we legally allow pre-marital contracts or divorce...?

There is logically the argument that the nature of Ruth and Naomi's relationship was mother-in-law/daughter-in-law rather than spouses. My point, though, is that many focus on that three-letter word: intercourse.

As to physical intercourse, I would like my readers to take into account this description:

First, there is a violent act, where one will have intercourse with another as a means of physical domination. This is not for love, nor procreation, nor pleasure. This is known as rape.

Second, there is the act where partners will have physical intercourse for the sake of pleasuring the body alone. This often leaves the ones who do this feeling empty inside.

Third, there are those who will perform the actions of physical intercourse for the purpose of acquiring something. This can be for money, favors, fame, reputation, position, promotion, a child, control, or manipulation of a person or situation. Sometimes only one person in the relationship is the one who does this; sometimes both.

Finally, there is the union where people physically express their love for each other and completely let down all barriers between themselves, giving themselves completely to another, without reservation.

Only the last one is acceptable.

Through our history, there are many marriages which are legally acceptable but fall into the second or third descriptions above. My stand is this: If the people are both as committed as Ruth was to Naomi and fall into the last description above, there should be no issue.

In the Old Testament, "go forth and multiply" was so important to the people that multiple wives PLUS concubines was the accepted norm. Now, at only the start of the twenty-first century, we face an overpopulated planet where resources are becoming scarce. There are also children growing up without one or both parents. Where is the love they need?

Do we really believe that the ability to procreate is a vital part of the commitment of marriage? What about the barren women, like myself? What about people who elect not to add to an overpopulated world? What about the elderly who get married in the years beyond procreative capacity? What about those who cannot perform physical intercourse or procreate due to medical reasons? Shall we ban marriage for these people as well?

Or is it that we want to control what goes on in the privacy of another's bridal chamber? Do we desire to place ourselves in judgement over our brothers and sisters? Or, as Christians, shouldn't we refrain from judgement and allow Christ, who alone sees truly into the hearts of all, be the One - the ONLY - judge?

I have seen many say that I must not be a "True Christian." But in faith and trust, I point to the list above. If there are people willing to commit to each other - without reservation - and make their lives as One to death or even beyond, who am I to stand in their way?

We are called not to be Judges.

We are called to Love each other.

Christ Loves us all.

~ ESA

Debate Part 2 - Religion

Following stating my positions on politics in general (last blogpost), I broached the subject of Mormonism. I stated that while I know there has been some bad press on some Mormons, such as underage wives and a second-class treatment of women among them, there are also bright points I have seen too:

• They were the first to respond with aide following Hurricane Katrina - three days before the Red Cross and over a week before State and Federal government responded. They had left two days before the Hurricane made landfall to be there right after it hit.
• Mormons are the only Christian group I have seen who prepare for the "End Times." They store a full seven (7) years of food, water and necessaries to survive practically any natural disaster short of the sun going nova. More importantly, they SHARE that when disaster strikes. ("If you love me, feed my lambs."~Jesus)
• In addition, they require every male and female of 17 years old to go out and preach the words of Christ. They are not to confront anyone, nor are they to fight with someone even if threatened with violence. Many are threatened as they go door-to-door through the neighborhoods. The Church of Latter Day Saints (Mormon Church) also spends money in advertisements that spread the message of "Love your neighbor."

I clearly indicated that I do not mean that Mormonism is the "one true way." I pointed out that it is neither all good, nor all bad. In fact, none of them are. But as soon as I mentioned one good thing of Mormonism, I was slammed. He clearly debated his belief that Mormonism originated from the devil, and continued with, "Mormonism is all bad, all evil. The followers are deceived. Romney is a high priest in this false lying religion leading people into hell..." He added, "There are many seemingly "good" people among Hindus, Buddhists, even Muslims, but they are deceived by false religion."

I replied that I have no doubts that Gandhi is in Heaven right now feasting with Jesus. I got another long tirade following that, including:

• Jesus must be worshiped and received as Lord and Savior, there is no other way to Heaven, no back doors for Hindus or anyone else. In other words, Gandhi could not be saved by acting "Christlike" A PERSON MUST BE BORN AGAIN. You must be bought by the blood of Jesus... Anyone who does what looks right is not necessarily a Christian. The devil can do something that looks good. He is a deceiver..Only the blood of Jesus can get anyone to Heaven. Only those who have been washed in the blood of Jesus, whose sins have been paid for.

He would not be dissuaded from this even when I brought up statements from the bible he hopes I will learn from:

• Matt 7:1 ~ "Do not judge, or you too will be judged."
• Matt 7:16-18 ~ "By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." 
• Matt 12:50 ~ "Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!"

Jesus/Yeshua. is not looking for a church of converts; He wants us to simply and completely: Love each other; forgive each other, and help each other. Period. He does not say anywhere "Join my Church or perish ye in the flames of hell!" :*(

My debater told me, "Jesus said He came into the world to divide the sheep from the goats. You have bought into the worst lie of the devil that dishonors Jesus." I believe he refers to a part of Matt 25:32. I argued that JESUS will separate the sheep in the goats. We do not have the Omniscience that He shares with the Father. We are instructed NOT to judge each other.

He argued that: "Judge not means don't judge your brother and sister's lives, but we have the mind of Christ if we are His & we are told to judge all things." Sadly, I have heard this argument many times before. Many fail to recall the ENTIRE passage in Matthew. It begins by these words:

• “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with Him, He will sit on His glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats."

First, Christ has not yet returned in the Second Coming, of which this passage speaks. Second, it clearly states that HE will Judge. Sadly, there are many in the world who feel they are called to be the judges of humanity. This, unfortunately leads to hatred, condemnation, war and hardships that need not be in this world. He compared Romney to Hitler in his blogpost. Why does he not see that he does the very same thing Hitler did with his words of hate?

I learned that it is the adversary who wants mankind divided. Remember, together we can achieve something greater than the sum of our individual efforts. Divisions lead to hate, and to war. Feeling you are part of a group (or even individually) "higher" than another or are "the chosen ones" leads to pride, segregation and prejudice.

Christ taught: Love one another. Love those you see as your enemy. Pray for those who persecute you. And - one many forget - forgive one another. In drawing these lines, do we do any of these?

I know that there are good souls in all religions of the world. I know with absolute certainty, that one does not need to follow a Church to follow Christ. We need to follow what He teaches and the path is open to us. Period.

I had asked my debater thrice if he was a descendant of Abraham, if he had blood ties to the 12 tribes of Israel. Why? Also from the bible, Christ speaks these words:

• Matt 15:24 ~ Then Jesus said to the woman, "I was sent only to help God's lost sheep--the people of Israel."

Yet after the Resurrection, Christ proclaims:

• John 10:16 ~ "I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also. They will listen to my voice, and there will be one flock with one shepherd."

Interestingly enough, the accounts in the Book of Mormon that speak of Jesus, say the interactions with those in North America take place after the Resurrection.

There are also accounts in southwestern Native American history that speak of a visitor who taught them to love one another, and forgive one another. One witness realized it was the Christ of whom the newly-seen "white man" had spoken, yet added: "But He was not like what they say He is. He is not pale like the white man, but dark skinned like the People." Which is actually true. He is not as dark as some from the African continent, but does have the dark-olive complexion of the middle-east. Ironically, many may mistake him as "terrorist" if He walked in America today.

Are the Mormon accounts true then? I honestly do not know. Sadly, I was not able to continue this debate as my debater had unfollowed me when I asked the question about Abraham. I do not even know if he read them, and I had no chance to share the final passages above.

What I've been given to know is simply this: We are called to Love one another. That means unity, not division. We are called to be humble; that means not proclaiming your belief is greater than another. We are called to share and care, that does not mean wishing others go to hell. We are called to Forgive, not "convert" others to your way of thinking; that's campaigning which politicians do. Campaigning does not teach, does not love, and certainly does not forgive... 

Love one Another.
Please...
:*(

~ ESA

Judge Not

This post is essentially a lengthy response with which Twitter would be a poor medium. Forgoing my typical rhymes, I will speak plainly here.

"Judge NOT, lest you be judged."

There are many who advocate that to be a good Christian, or even a good person, one not only has the right to judge another, but has a sworn duty to do so, sometimes with a vengeance. I tweet against judging others, but here I will say why.

I believe we are called to Love each other, and to Forgive - not condemn - our brothers and sisters, essentially all of humanity. I agree that we should learn concepts of right/good actions and wrong (irresponsible, greedy, self-centered) actions. We can assess a situation without condemning a person.

When we judge, we place ourselves at a higher ground than the person whom we judge; we help feed our own ego in doing so. When we judge, we have in mind that we are better, wiser, even "holier" than another. Yet, we are all still very human and do NOT have knowledge and complete understanding of every situation - including precursory events, minute details, thoughts, feelings, the "big picture", and where the events lead to in the future. We are human, not God. Thus Judgment should be reserved for God alone.

Further, when we judge another, we hold up what we find wrong/offensive/evil, and our mind sees that instead of the person whom we have judged. If we hold this "sin" in mind when our thoughts are of that person, did we truly Forgive them? Is this the type of "Forgiveness" we seek for our own mistakes in this life?

Does "not judging" mean our hands are tied or we face the world with indifference? Certainly not! We do not judge the person, but we can assess an action or event. If we look at the event separate from the person, we can see what can be done. There is potential to do great good as well as great evil within every person. Our primary responsibility is to see the potential to do great good and see what we CAN do to enable that good to be accomplished, regardless of the past. That is a foundation for Forgiveness.

When we judge, we push the PERSON away from us, we condemn the person, not just the act. If we push the person away, there is no real way we can see the means to open paths to positive actions. We have shut the door.

We are called to be witnesses, not judges.

Do we see the good deep inside
Even when behavior helps it hide?
Do we open a path to a better day?
Or condemn & move on our way?

Be a witness to the good in another;
You will see your sister or brother.

- ESA