From Tears to Tools

Two correspondents are dealing with judgmental people, in particular ones that feel that it is their right and responsibility to tell others how to live. Sadly, there are some who believe that if people do not follow their particular religious beliefs and/or practices, they are "damned." I've heard the frustration and tears from those attacked, and offer some tools.

To the Judges, remember: "Judge not lest you be judged." If you tell anyone else to toe the line of a particular law, YOU will be the one accountable for every law, from shellfish and polyester, to burnt sacrifices at the Temple in Jerusalem at the appropriate time and date. Instead, I plead with you: Love and Forgive. For in doing so, you are also Forgiven.

This post, however, is addressed primarily to those who suffer from judges.

We cannot change or control how another thinks or acts. We can only change how we respond to that person. I will acknowledge that this can be hard, particularly when that person is a friend, spouse, or family member. They know how to push our buttons, and can hurt us more deeply.

In every situation we encounter, there is only one decision that needs to be made: Do we want to share God's Love, or do we want to be right? One speaks to the spirit; the other to the ego.

When angry, frustrated or upset, we speak and act through our ego. Only an ego can talk to another ego, and they do not communicate at all.

The ego insists that we fight, defend, issue "pre-emptive strikes" in the name of defense, and that we are right and all others are wrong. My ego even had the gall to tell me that Yeshua/Jesus Himself is wrong! That's a pretty highly-inflated mindset we can have.

But we are not in our right mindset when we think like that. The ego is also how the adversary /devil/negativity influences our minds and skews our perceptions. So we need to learn to be more spirit-minded.

While WE cannot change a person's perspective, God can. Thus we should pray in the silence of our heart, and be patient, allowing God to work things out in Divine ways and timing. There's a much bigger picture than we see.

The reason I add "in the silence of our heart" is that people toss into a heated argument, "I will pray for you." Or better yet, "God make this person UNDERSTAND that (s)he is wrong!" Even with good intentions, this only triggers more anger and defensiveness.

We should also pray for ourselves; God helps us think with the right mindset (spirit vs. ego) when we ask.

If we find that we cannot get into the right mindset, especially if the other person knows just how and when to hit those hot buttons, there is another simple tactic we can use.

We need to see the other person through God's eyes. Our ego tells us they are wrong, judgmental, rude, etc. Our spirit sees that at least one perception has been skewed; perhaps both, as it takes two to argue.

God looks upon the person and sees a beloved son or daughter.

While the image to the left comforts when we face life's challenges, it can also be a tool. When someone hurts, angers or frustrates us, we can picture that person in God's arms too.

It's amazing how this changes heart, mind and perspective.

The human mind is capable of a lot more than most understand. We can use it to harm one another, or help one another. We choose between spirit-mindset and ego-mindset.

When someone attacks me, saying how their way is the only way, I try to step back and see how God views this person. They are loved. They may be perceiving through the ego at the moment. But they are loved. So I offer my prayers to God and love to that person.

Let go; Let God
It's in better Hands
~ESA