Windshield Wipers

When I went to put something in my Jeep yesterday, I noticed one of my windshield wipers was gone. The other was off the hook and bent horrifically. Evidently someone tried to steal both. Reporting the incident to the police was pointless. As I walk to work, the incident could have taken place any time since last Sunday. The Jeep was parked near the back of our apartment complex parking area and easily accessible to anyone walking or driving by. It also could have been much worse; one time someone slashed all the tires of the vehicles parked back there.

I was upset. I'd have to buy new wipers when these were still fairly new themselves. And I could not drive without wipers due to the sudden summer thunder-storms common where we live. So I sat and sulked as my husband drove me.

After the initial pout fest, I tried to forgive through reasoning. Perhaps the person really needed wipers themselves and could not afford to buy replacements. Or perhaps it was just some vandal bent on destruction. In my head, I flip-flopped between the two; I could forgive one easily but not the other. I even felt a bit bad; not only was the person so desperate that they needed to steal off an old Jeep, they will also have to steal from someone else too as they bent one of the wipers, rendering it useless for both of us. I, at least, have some savings where I can get a new set of wipers, some of my neighbors may not.

I know there is much research showing both psychological (mind) and biological/bio-chemical (body) benefits to forgiveness. This morning in the stillness of my prayers I sought to forgive. One of the exercises in a book I'm reading speaks of "letting go of attack thoughts." This includes both thoughts of me attacking others as well as being attacked. And I had to face the truth, I felt attacked when I saw my Jeep yesterday.

When I let the thought of attack go - it is in the past and the past is forever gone; there is nothing I can change about it - I did find some Peace and forgiveness. More, I came to the recognition that it does not matter WHY the person did what was done. It is ALL in the past.

That, I believe, is one of the nuggets of wisdom behind the "Judge not, lest you be judged." In judging we determine what is good and bad. If they did it for one reason, I can forgive. But as long as there is anything that I hold back my forgiveness on, I - myself - bar the way to the Peace I seek. In the end, the person who did this will never know one way or the other if I've forgiven, but *I* do. And withholding forgiveness only harms me.

Holding on harms us so
Benefits as we let go
And grow

-ESA