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As some of you know, my brother Dan was born with a condition that affected his brain. My family was given the diagnosis when Dan was still in grade school. My parents had to make the difficult decision between high-risk surgery that could extend his life, or do nothing and possibly lose a son before he reached adulthood.
They opted for the surgeries – many of them.
My parents scheduled these surgeries just before extended school breaks, so Dan would not miss much class time. Given a choice, my brother would have preferred to miss school…
He was in the hospital during Christmas break, which left our family scrambling to shop, gift-wrap and decorate. I believe this is where our family’s Christmas Eve dinner tradition came from ~ Chinese Take Out.
But there is something else; each Christmas became a reminder for me ~ we were blessed with one more year that we had my little brother with us. I learned early to appreciate the time I had with Dan, and – in later years – I started to appreciate the time I had with family and friends as well.
I believe Dan also appreciated the time he had, and made the best of it. Instead of lamenting his pain or inconvenience and limitations of his condition, he preferred to share in whatever joy, laughter and – of course – mischief he could find.
After one of his neurosurgeries, he woke up in I.C.U. beside someone who was crying loudly in anguish how bad his head ached. Danny called over to him, “Hey! You’re still alive, ain’tcha? You can still talk and see, can’tcha? Count your blessings! Beisdes, *I* have a splitting headache too!” Then he reached over and re-arranged the wiring of the various monitors, much to the chagrin of the I.C.U. nurses. Rumor has it that once he was able to make a heart monitor go backwards.
Even when his daily life was affected and he couldn’t do all he wanted to, eventually needing to use a cane for balance, he’d still joke about things and wholeheartedly enjoyed others sharing his sense of humor.
Dan taught me, the time any of us have here really is very short. Far too short to hold grudges, or to perpetuate animosities that really should be set aside. That I should instead embrace the love and laughter we have all around us. I don’t know when my last day will be, nor my last interaction with those around me. I hope I can be like Dan, rather than griping about pain, or lamenting that life is not going the way I want, I want to choose to share the laughter with others in my life. I can truly say Dan did this, and his life shone brighter because of it.
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