Saturday, January 18, 2014

Little Flame (Poem)

 Written a few years ago, I wanted to share the full poem after I tweeted it in segments today. Please enjoy!
~ ESA

___________________________________________________________
Little Flame

I have a little flame

At the center of my heart

I know how it got there

God was the very start



 
One little flame

In a vast dark place

One little smile

That won't be displaced



Light a flame beside me

Hence there are two

It's now a little brighter

We know what to do



It could be a smile

Or a helping hand

All the different ways

As countless as sand




Pass on a kindness 

Or uplifting word

Light another flame

Against this dark world



Like little ripples

On the surface of a pond

Little flames alight

When the heart is fond


 Ever-widening circles

Spread the Light and Love

As our little flames

Reflect the One Above



Further and further

Light this shining ball!

One little flame

Can encompass us all


 

When the darkness comes

To blow our flames out

There is one thing that

It hasn't figured out


Within each heart

A little flame is found

And with a little effort

We can send it back around!

Friday, January 17, 2014

The Fisherman (Story)

Written a few years ago, I have not shared this story in a while.
~ESA
________________________________________________________________
The Fisherman
The dawn had barely kissed the eastern horizon, lightening the clouds with a peach blush when the fisherman reached the dock slip where his boat was tied. Piled in his arms was an old but well-maintained net that carried the scent of fish and saltwater within its webbing. The morning breeze was gentle but continuous; gulls and other seabirds called to one another as they rode the air currents rolling along the shore.
The lone fisherman lowered his bundle to the dock and climbed down into his small boat, transferring the net to its place at the bow. This was once a pleasurable weekend past-time, but lean times had come to his part of world. He lost his job a month ago and his wife was barely holding on to the part-time clerical job she had. While their meager savings helped keep a roof over their head, the days he could dedicate to fishing helped keep food on the table and -- on occasion -- bring in a little more money too.
Checking the fuel gauge on the tank, he pumped the knob on the line to bring gas up to the outboard motor clamped to the back of his small boat. Habitually, he checked around the propeller to make sure it was clear and yanked the line hard, starting the little motor humming.
While alone in his boat, he wasn't the only one on the docks this hour. Several other fishermen were also underway - seemingly more every day he went out; all bringing home smaller catches.
Pondering this, he maneuvered his small craft away from the docks and into the open water, where he cranked the motor to full power and felt the familiar vibrations run through his palm and up his arm.
He decided to try his favorite spot one last time, hoping to catch something. He got there early, cut the motor and cast his net into the sea. He poured himself a cup of still-hot coffee from his thermos and watched the waters beside his quiet boat.
Not a ripple, not a stir. The larger fishing vessels chugged past him at a respectable distance, heading out to deeper waters. What would be the catch today? he wondered.
After a while, he concluded that, once again, there would be no fish here today. He grunted with the effort of hauling in the dripping nets, arranging them as he drew them in, so he could recast them. He started his motor and turned the bow toward where the larger vessels had gone. I'll find some fish in the deeper waters, he told himself, not really convinced. The motor's hum became a roar as he opened the throttle fully and the little boat leapt ahead.
Once he reached the deeper water, he cut the motor and paused, waiting and watching to see if the fish would approach. While he waited, he choked down a sandwich, ignoring the tang of the salt that transferred from his hands to the bread.
First one, then another, soon a small school swam past and under his boat, as it rocked gently on the waves. Ah, this will do nicely, he thought.
He cast his net into the sea and waited, hoping to have some catch to take home to his family. But doubt still enshrouded his heart, casting the small hope in darkness.
Even though fish swam past his boat, when he hauled in the net for the second time, it was as before - empty. The fisherman cursed as he hauled the heavy wet net on board. I can't come home empty-handed again. Not again! He arranged the net for one final attempt and then sat in the stern to consider his next and final location carefully. The sun had already started its decent, and the gentle breeze had turned gusty bringing the scent of distant rain.
The fisherman cast his eyes heavenward and called out “Hey, up there! Can't you help a man out down here? I'm just trying to feed my family. That's all! Give a guy a break why don'tcha?”
Not waiting for an answer, he yanked the cord on the motor taking out some of his frustration. He checked the gauge on the tank and calculated where he was to go by what he needed to get back to shore, pushing further out. When he reached the last place, he spied fish coursing just below the surface, practically leaping out of the water as their dorsal fins broke through to the salty air. The fisherman grinned ear-to-ear. He cut the motor and cast the net immediately from his boat that was lightly tossed by the rolling waves.
He waited and he watched. He watched and he waited. The fish danced to their own rhythms beneath the waves - all deftly avoiding his net. As the sun sank in the western sky, dark clouds moved in quickly to cover it. The wind blew fiercer, tasting of rain now - cold and damp to the skin.
The fisherman shivered and cursed even harder as he yanked in the net for the last time. In his anger, he tore it, setting off a long string of curse words and anything his mind could use to season them.
He started the motor and kicked the empty net before him in disgust. Turning his little boat around, he headed back to shore. All that money for the dock rental and the gas to run this stupid boat out here - WASTED!
He was in a foul mood by the time he reached the docking slip. The sky was leaden grey with the approaching sunset and incoming storm, helping to further darken his spirits.
When the fisherman reached his slip, he saw a man sitting there dangling his feet from the dock. He appeared to be in his early thirties, dressed in jeans and a loose fitting shirt below his shoulder-length hair, a very common sight among the docks. When the man saw him approach, he smiled brightly through his beard, then got up and helped to guide the boat home into its berth as through he had done this countless times before.
“Thanks,” the fisherman grumbled, “but if you're looking to buy some fish from me tonight, you're out of luck. My net was empty all day. I don't even have a catch to share with my family.”
“That's a shame,” replied the stranger as he turned to face the wind and water, “I know there are fish out there.” Then his contemplative look brightened. “Say! I know a spot that always has fish; it's not too far from shore either.” He turned to the fisherman with a light sparkling in his eyes. “I could show you if you'd like.”
The fisherman shook his head wearily as he hauled the net up onto the dock. “Sorry. It's getting late and I have no running lights for night. Besides,” he scowled, “I tore my net hauling in the last cast. I need to take it home and repair it.”
The stranger sat down beside the dripping net, ignoring the pool of water that snaked its way toward his dry jeans. “I can help there; I know how to mend nets.” As if he knew where to go, his hand reached out and found the place the net was torn. Deftly, he worked the webbing and knotted the hole closed. Then he handed the section back to the fisherman to inspect.
The fisherman was awestruck. “How did you do that so quickly?”
The stranger smiled openly and laughed an easy laugh. “I've had lots of practice over the years.”
The fisherman studied the stranger a moment, not sure what to say or make of this man.
“Shall I show you this spot I know?” the stranger asked again.
“Uh... Thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate you helping me with my net, but I'm also out of gas. I don't think you can magically make my gas tank full again...?” he chuckled with a blend of amusement and sarcasm.
“I don't need to,” the stranger replied as he rose to his feet and pointed to the oars lying on either side of the boat.
The fisherman barked a bitter laugh. “I don't know about you, but my arms are tired from hauling this net in and out three times today.”
Wordlessly, the stranger hopped down into the boat, placed the oars in the oarlocks and sat ready to pull them with hands that were used to hard work.
The fisherman stood there mute and dumb. Maybe I fell asleep out there and I'm dreaming all this... He shrugged and hauled his net back into the boat, sitting down beside it as the stranger pulled against the oars setting them back out across the water again.
The fisherman pulled out his cell phone and hit the speed-dial button. “Yeah, it's just me. I wanted to tell you I'll be getting home a bit later... No, I'm fine. There's a guy here that wants to show me a spot where the fish are. We shouldn't be long... Don't worry. I'll be careful.... Yes, I see the rain too. I should have time enough for one last trip before full dark though.... OK, love you too.”
As the stranger checked their course over his shoulder and started a rhythmic rowing he faced the fisherman and asked, “Have you ever read the children's book The Little Engine That Could?”
The fisherman smiled, “Yeah, when my kids were young. That was one of their favorites. 'I think I can, I think I can...' Why do you ask?”
“Why haven't you listened to the book's message?”
“What message?”
The stranger paused and let the boat drift forward under its own momentum. “You need to believe in something to make it happen.”
“That works for kids, but reality sets in when you’re an adult.”
The stranger shook his head, “It's the same no matter your age. That's why children can understand it better. They don't have the false notions that life places in our heads when we're older. If you think you can - you can. That's it.”
“So what does that have to do with where the fish are?”
He released one oar to gesture over the rippling water as the oncoming storm's wind created whitecaps around them. “There is your hill.” Then he pointed to the net. “There is your train. Haul it over the hill if you can.”
I've got a loony in my boat, the man thought to himself, but he stood up to cast the net once again, trusting the stranger for some unknown reason.
“You don't have the right mindset,” scolded the stranger with a gentle smile. “You really need to think it. Not just think it, but believe it with your whole heart.”
“The 'I think I can, I think I can' thing?”
“Exactly! Try it. Trust in yourself. Trust that the fish will be there and that they will come into your net.”
The fisherman shrugged and cast the net out again. Immediately there was a tug on the lines. Both men watched over the side of the rocking boat as the fish streamed into the net, weighing it down tremendously.
The stranger laughed in delight, “See! I told you! It's a great spot.” The two worked side by side hauling in the net. The net was so full of fish; it could not be hauled into the boat, even with their joint efforts. “Let's pull into the shore there,” the stranger suggested pointing toward the beach. “The people there can help.”
The fisherman hung unto the net dearly as the stranger rowed toward the shore with renewed energy. The fisherman's heart sang in joy. “What a catch! Can you believe it? In all my years, I've never seen the like!”
“I have. It's great - something wonderful!”
“It is,” the fisherman agreed and grinned ear-to-ear despite the rain that started to pour down on their heads. The rain passed quickly and the dark clouds with it. By the time they reached the shore, the sun was peeking below the clouds, and kissed the western horizon.
Soaked head-to-toe and still elated, the fisherman called to those on the shore. “Ahoy! If you could help us haul in this catch, I'll share it with you. Come'on! We need the help!”
Puzzled looks were exchanged between the onlookers, but they waded out into the water. First one, then two, soon a whole group gathered taking the net in hand and following the fisherman's instructions to safely land the huge catch they had made.
While they were hauling in the net, the fisherman turned to the stranger beside him, also tugging on the heavy net. “You've earned at least half of this for showing me what you did. I'll share my half with these people; you can take home or sell the rest - whatever you want.”
The stranger smiled and shook his head. “I don't need any of this catch, not now. But I will ask you a boon.”
“Whatever you want. You've made my day.”
“There are others who are hungry. Take what you would give to me and feed them.”
The last words rung a chord somewhere deep inside the fisherman and he paused in shocked stillness a moment. With an overwhelming feeling of awe, he slowly turned to face the man beside him -- to really take a good hard look at who he was -- but that man was gone, leaving him to distribute the catch and head home with a remarkable “fish story” to tell.

Driving Down Memory Lane

When I was a girl in the 1970's, numerous siblings crammed into our family car for hours to literally drive over the river and through the woods to grandma's house. Back in the time before car seats and even rear seat belts, let alone iPods and portable / built-in DVD players, my family played games like "I-Spy," "Geography" (where you name a place that began with the last letter of the previous place name), "Traffic Bingo" and one of my dad's favorites -- "Spot the Straightaway."
While I now understand it to be urban legend, my dad explained that President Eisenhower designed the US Highway System to have a mile-long straightaway without overpasses "every so many-miles down the highway," so a plane could make an emergency landing. While easy in flat open sections of the mid-west, we lived in the Northeastern US, where highways built in the 1950's and 1960's meandered around existing cities and large towns, as well as wove through rolling hills and mountains.
But if we were quiet (hint-hint) and observant, we would be able to find those mile-long stretches. As a reward, the observer would get a window-seat at the next pit stop change. Having been crammed in the middle of the bench seats (front and back), we all knew the value of the prized window seats.
Two weeks ago, a small plane landed on a normally crowded New York City highway. This is not the first time; this will not be the last time. But when I heard about it, I smiled and remembered the "Spot the Straightaway" game of my youth ~ years after my dad, and now one of my siblings, passed away.
The reason I share this particular drive down memory lane is this:
  • Share the time we have with each other, we never know when someone will no longer be in our lives.
  • Even when we don't realize it, life's trials and tragedies shape us -- like a highway cutting straight along mountainous terrain -- to prepare us for future emergencies.
  • Be observant; while the US didn't intentionally plan emergency straightaways, God does. There may be crisis in our lives, but God opens up a place for emergency landings too.
~ ESA

Friday, January 3, 2014

Lion's Estate (Story)

This story was written a few years ago; it's time to re-post it. Enjoy! 
~ ESA

Lion's Estate

There once was a master who owned a very large estate with three workers, a sheep, a goat and a fox. The master was a noble and kind-hearted lion who loved them. Everyone on the estate worked in harmony; there was peace and prosperity where everyone enjoyed the rewards of their labors.

One day, the lion was called away from the estate. He gathered his workers before him, saying, "I must leave you for a while, but I will return. In the meanwhile, I ask the three of you to continue working as you have in diligence and harmony. I place my full trust in you." With these words, he lovingly embraced them; the sheep first, then the goat and finally the fox.
When the lion had departed, the fox thought to himself, Why was I the last to be embraced? I work as hard as the the other two. In fact, I work harder since I use my clever mind to help the master's business and property prosper. Disheartened, he wandered away from the estate into the deep, dark woods.

There the darkness saw the question in his mind and taunted the fox's heart, saying "Your master doesn't love you as much as he loves your coworkers. You do your best to please him, but your best isn't good enough. Why do you continue to do so? In fact, your clever mind would be better utilized if you worked for yourself. Think how profitable you would be! In no time at all, you could be a master yourself and have an even larger estate. Wouldn't that show him?"

Delight danced in the fox's eyes as he took these words into his heart. "Oh yes! Oh yes indeed! That would be wonderful. How can this be accomplished?"

The darkness chuckled with delight and whispered the plans into the fox's uplifted and eager ears.

Meanwhile, back on the estate, the goat was also having some misgivings. As he went about his work, his eyes were drawn toward the sheep. Why did our master embrace him first? the goat wondered, his little beard bristling in envy. Does our master love him more than me? He is so docile and worthless; I'm the one who fights for our master's rights and worth of the goods his estate produces. Why should he be loved more than me?

Then a dark wind blew from the deep, dark woods across the estate and whispered into the goat's ear. 

The glare of envy became glints as an idea formed in his mind. Whatever the sheep works on, I will undo; when our master returns, he will see all that I have done and the sheep will have nothing to show him. From that very day, he unraveled, sabotaged and even destroyed the efforts of his coworker.

As the fox returned to the estate from the deep, dark woods, he spied the goat's actions and thought, This is what the darkness told me to watch for; my plan begins.

He went straightaway to the sheep and told him, "See what your coworker has done to all your hard labors? Now, if you trust me, I could take your work and keep it safe from the goat."

The sheep trusted the fox, remembering the parting words of their master. Yearning that the estate's unity would not be lost, he humbly nodded his assent. 

The fox grinned slyly; the smile never reaching his eyes. "Perhaps you could also get for me some of the goat's work as well - just to keep it safe for our master."

The sheep was horrified, "Why would I steal from my coworker?"

"Because," quipped the fox, "he obviously doesn't really understand the value of our master's estate, else he would not destroy part of it -- your work -- with his petty ambitions."

Deep inside, the sheep knew this was wrong, but he allowed himself to be deceived.

Day followed day. The goat continued to sabotage the sheep's work. The sheep saved what he could and gave it to the fox, along with what he stole from the goat. The sly fox sold the goods and continued to line his pockets and promote his own worth.
After a long while, the lion returned to his grand estate to find it in disorder and ruin. Fire glinted in his golden eyes as his anger rose, and his roar could be heard echoing across the land. Immediately he called his three workers before him and ordered each to give account for their actions.

The sheep stepped forward, humbly saying, "Forgive me, Kind Master, for I have wronged you and my coworker. Instead of working in harmony to prosper your estate, I helped bring it to ruin. I... I stole from the goat because he unraveled, sabotaged and destroyed my work. Please forgive me, Master."

Without a word, the lion's eyes went to the goat, who answered, "Forgive me, Kind Master, for I have wronged you. I thought you loved the sheep more than me, and I did what I did so I could be greater in your eyes. Please forgive me, Master."

Still silent, the lion's eyes fell on the fox who grinned back with a wicked smile. "If you think I'm going to apologize, you're crazy! I did what I needed to do and now I have wealth, notoriety and a lush estate of my own. You took my earlier work for granted and now I have more than even you!"

The lion turned to the sheep. "Do you forgive the goat for unraveling, sabotaging and destroying your work?"

"Y... yes, Master. I also wronged him, so it is only fitting to forgive him."

"Do you also forgive the fox for taking your work and keeping it as his own?" 

The sheep paused and looked at the still smiling fox. "I don't think it was right, but the work I did was for you, not me. So, in truth, he stole from you. I will personally hold nothing against him for his actions."

The anger in the lion's eyes softened to mercy and compassion as he once more embraced the sheep. "Then I forgive your actions as well. Come, devoted worker, I will give you a fine room in my house."

Then he turned to the goat, "And what about you? Do you forgive the sheep for stealing your work?"

The goat grit his teeth and glared at the sheep for a long moment. "Well... Alright. If he can forgive me for what I did, I can forgive him too."

The lion smiled jubilantly. "And do you also forgive the fox for what he has done?"

The goat's bearded jaw dropped. "Are you kidding!?! He hasn't even asked for forgiveness; he's not sorry! Look at him!"

The lion's eyes turned sad as he stood before the goat. "Then your actions shall not be forgiven either. You may stay employed on this estate, but you cannot live within my house."

At last he turned in rage to the fox, baring his mighty white teeth.

"You, who would steal from me and make what is mine yours shall be banished from this estate. Did you not know I have the power to take what is truly mine back to me?

"Foolish fox! You who listened to the darkness will be cast into the darkness - empty-handed and alone!"


With those words, he grabbed the fox by the scruff and cast him off his estate.

Then he took the sheep by the hand, smiling, and led him into the main house. That night there was much celebration within the house, with dancing and music, singing, feasting and laughter.

The goat stood outside the house, yearning to enter and join the celebration. He was certainly glad he was still on the estate and not exiled as the fox had been, for there were strange, terrible sounds of suffering in the deep, dark woods -- howls, gurgles and yelps of pain so intense it made the hair of his hide rise.
While he continued to look longingly at the house, the door opened and the lion stepped out. "Why do you stand here thus, goat?"

"Because I wish to join you inside like the sheep, Master."

"Why did you not forgive the fox as the sheep did? If you had, you would be inside with him."

"I... I understand now that I should have, and I greatly regret my decision. But..." Tears started to flow from his eyes. "But it is too late now."

The lion came down the steps and asked. "Have you finally found in your heart forgiveness for the fox?"

"I... I have, Master."

With an even greater joy in his heart, the lion swept the goat up into his embrace and said, "Then you are forgiven too. Come, join me and your coworker inside my house.

The next day, the lion left the estate with a bright lamp and went into the deep, dark woods -- the dominion of the darkness. The darkness seethed in rage at the intrusion, but the lion paid it no mind for he was greater and could not be touched by it. He was here to find the fox.
The darkness saw this and raced ahead, reaching the fox first. The fox sat there huddled, broken and bleeding; pain shot through him and tears continuously flowed from his eyes. The darkness wrapped itself around the fox blocking all light around him and casting fear and suspicion in his mind.

When the lion reached him, the fox was in such a sad state of heart and mind, he did not recognize his former master nor see the bright light he carried.

"My dear fox," the lion said, "I've come to call you home."

"Home!?! I have no home! My loving master cast me from his estate for what I have done. This is yet another trick. A lie! A deception! A torture like all those that have befallen on me since I came to this wretched place! Go AWAY! Please! Leave me alone! Can't you see I'm already in a great deal of pain!?! Please! STOP THIS TORTURE!!!!!" He wept great wracking sobs.

The lion reached out to comfort him, but the fox pulled away terrified and curled into an even tighter ball of misery and pain, wrapping his tail around him and before his eyes to block out the face before him.

With a great ache in his heart, the lion left the deep, dark woods alone. He returned twice more, but twice more the fox rejected his offer.
When the lion returned to the estate after the third attempt, the goat saw the pain in his eyes and approached him. "Master, let me go to the fox and see if I can give him a message."

The lion thought a moment and agreed. "You are the stubborn one of my workers. Perhaps you can reach through the darkness and get him to listen."

The goat left the estate and entered the deep, dark woods. The darkness greeted him right away, trying to lure him away from the lion as it had done to the fox. But by now, the goat had lived in the lion's house and saw only truth. While the darkness spent its efforts casting shadows before the goat's eyes, it failed to see him as a threat and did nothing to hinder the fox this time.
When the goat found the fox in such a wretched state, his heart immediately went out to him and he knelt by the fox's side, tending to his wounds. 

The fox opened his pain-filled eyes and asked, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I have forgiven you as our master has forgiven me."

Tears flowed anew down damp, matted cheek ruffs. "I wish he was still my master and loved me. He never would have let this happen to me if he still loved me..."

"He does still love you."

"Then why hasn't he come to save me from this cruel fate?"

"He has - thrice. His heart aches because three times you have turned him away."

Firmly the fox snapped shut his jaw and shook his head. It took much convincing and several long periods of conversation between sessions of torture and torment the fox endured. But the goat set in his heels and would not leave the fox's side until he saw the truth too.
When at last the truth that not only did the lion still love him, but that the darkness into which his actions had cast him was the reason he did not see their master's light nor recognize him when he came, the fox asked, "What am I to do now?"

The goat lifted his eyes, looking over the fox's head. "I can see the light of the estate, even though the darkness tries to hide it from my eyes. Let me lead you there."

Slowly and painfully the pair made their way out of the deep, dark woods.

In the estate's gateway, the lion stood, tears of joy cascading down his cheeks and into his noble mane. Elated, he ran the last few steps and crushed the poor broken fox against his broad chest.

Immediately, the fox's pain and afflictions fell away from him and were replaced by a Love and Joy greater than any he had ever experienced. "Please forgive me," he wept into the lion's mane as he was held in that embrace.

"I have, fox. And right now my heart sings with the greatest joy of all. Come, join us in my house."

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year's Resolution

I made one New Year's resolution many years ago that I've been able to keep - just one.
That was to make no more New Year's resolutions.
Does that mean there is nothing about me that I intend to change?
Do I want to loose the extra weight I carry around? Do I want to become a better person?
Do I want to strive to do more to help my fellow human being in this world?
Of course I do!
I just no longer wait until one particular day each year to try to change something about myself in a positive way.
No one knows with 100% accuracy what will happen tomorrow.
We can plan, certainly. We can schedule. But none of us "KNOWS" what tomorrow will bring - or even the next hour.
So if I truly wish to make a change in myself, I have the moment right in my hands. This very moment, today!
Now.
Each day, each moment brings us a fresh new opportunity as pristine as the moment that occurred at midnight local time on New Year's Day.
Why wait until the turning of the calendar to allow myself that opportunity and let all the others slip by?

Carpe Diem
Seize the Day
Seize the Moment

~ ESA
HAPPY NEW YEAR!