Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Reindeer Tale (Story)


The cold, wet wind howled through the small Pennsylvania town, promising more snow. Joey peered down the road. There was still no sign of his mother. The snow-covered roads were slick, and the old station wagon barely ran in the cold weather. Joey tugged his knit skull cap down, keeping the wind off the back of his neck.

Peter, his little brother, stood beside him on the icy steps of the local school. Mary and Matt, their neighbors, waited with them for Joey’s mother to take them home. Peter was relating the story that his teacher told her class that day.

“I don’t believe a word of it,” Joey said stubbornly. “Mrs. Maybel just tells you little kids things like that because they have nothing to teach just before Christmas break.”

Peter glared at his brother from between his scarf and knit hat. The bright blue pom-pom on top danced in the cold wind. “I think it’s true.”

“Me too!” Mary spoke up from under her scarf. She was in Peter’s class and usually sided with him in these arguments.

“I believe Joey,” Matt argued. “Who ever heard of animals talking on Christmas morning? It’s all make-believe. It’s just a story Mrs. Maybel made up.”

“Is not!” Peter shouted.

“Is so!” Matt and Joey countered.

“Is not!”

“Is so!”

“NOT!”

“SO!”

“Here she comes,” Mary cried.

The sign that read, “Caution School Children,” crested the hill before the old, battered station wagon rose into view.

“I get shotgun,” Joey called.

“Not fair,” Peter whined, “You rode shotgun to school. It’s my turn.”

“Too late. I called it.”

“I want to ride shotgun,” Peter shouted as he shoved his brother.

Joey shoved him back, and Peter fell right into a snowbank. Mary helped him rise to his feet. But by then, Joey was in the front seat next to his mother. “Hurry up, Peter! I don’t want to miss my show! Hey, ma, why can't we get tivo like everyone else?”

As their mother rolled her eyes at Joey's request, pouting Peter climbed into the back seat and pulled the heavy door shut behind him.

“Don’t forget to buckle up, kids. The roads are pretty bad,” their mother called from the front seat. “So, kids, how was school today?” With a shudder, the station wagon pulled out of the driveway and onto the road.

Peter fumbled with the seatbelt for a few minutes. The padded mittens made it difficult. He tugged the scarf down away from his mouth and removed the mitten with his teeth. “Miffus Maybel thaid that animufs talk on Chrifmuth.”

“What was that, Peter dear?”

“Our teacher said that animals talk on Christmas morning,” Mary supplied.

“I told them it isn’t true,” Joey said, “It’s just make-believe.”

“Oh? How do you know?” his mother asked with a grin.

“Huh?”

“Well, you’re not outside early Christmas morning, are you? Maybe the animals do talk. And you just haven’t heard them.”

“It’s true?”

“I don’t know,” his mother said with a shrug, “I’m not outside early Christmas morning either. Maybe they do talk. Or maybe it is just a story.”

* * *

The four children stood together in the woodlands. The snow hissed as it fell through the leafless branches. “Hey, Peter?”

“Yeah, Mary?”

“If the animals do talk like you said, what will you ask them?”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. What about you?”

“I don’t know either.”

“How are you clowns going to ask them anything?” Matt inquired. “We’re not allowed outside after dark. There’s no way our parents are going to let us out after midnight.”

“We just don’t tell them,” Joey replied. “You know, sneak out.”

“These woods are scary at night,” Mary said.

“Don’t be such a ‘fraidy cat, Mary,” Joey scolded. “These woods are right behind our houses. And there’s deer and other animals out here at night. We’ll just sneak out and meet here.”

“You sure we can do it?” Matt asked. “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“We won’t,” Joey said confidently. “Trust me.”

* * *

The tolling bells chimed from the church in town, proclaiming the start of Christmas morning.

When the last sound of the bells faded beyond the rolling hills, Joey slid out from under his covers. Peter was already out of his bunk and pulling on his boots. Both had worn their jeans and sweaters to bed, ready for their adventure. They fluffed pillows and pulled the covers over them to make it look as if they were still in bed.

Within a few moments, both were bundled up and out the back door with flashlights in hand. As they trudged through the ice-crusted snow to their rendezvous spot, they could make out the brilliant circles of light from Mary and Matt’s flashlights.

All four children had dressed warmly, leaving only their eyes exposed to the biting wind. “Where to now?” Matt asked.

“Let’s go deeper into the woods,” Joey suggested as he led the way with his flashlight.

The children had not gone far when they heard voices in the darkness ahead of them. “Hey! Watch those lights. It’s killing our night vision.” A few eyes glittered in the light from Joey’s flashlight.

The other children pointed their flashlights in that direction and saw a herd of deer grazing. The does nervously moved behind the buck. And the buck lowered his head menacingly at the children, dark-tipped antlers coming within inches of their flashlights. “Again, would you get the light out of our eyes?”

The children obediently lowered their flashlights. The snow on the ground softly reflected the light, enough to make out shapes in the darkness.

“Thank you, children,” said the buck as he continued to graze on the low-hanging tree branches.

The children exchanged wide-eyed looks as their mouths hung agape behind their scarves.

Mary was the first to speak, “You... you can talk.”

“Of course we can, child,” one doe replied. “We always could. You just can’t understand us until these first hours of Christmas.”

“How come Santa’s reindeer can talk all year round, and you can only be heard now?” Peter asked.

“Saint Nicholas’ reindeer are special,” the doe explained.

“It’s a good story,” the buck added.

“Let me tell it. Let me tell it,” another doe pleaded. The buck nodded elegantly and the doe began….

+++ +++ +++

“Many years ago, somewhere in Europe -- I forget where -- there was a herd of reindeer living in the woods just beyond a small village. One day, the herd discovered an abandoned fawn. It was a miracle that he was found so easily, for his coat was as white as the pure snow he burrowed himself into. With the newborn stag’s parents nowhere to be found, the herd decided to adopt him.

“It was strange that one so young was found early in the winter -- Christmas morning in fact. But there were does in the herd who were heavy with unborn fawns and able to give the newborn stag the milk he needed. And on cold winter nights, the herd curled around the young one, to shelter him and keep him warm.

“Near the end of winter, the wolves came down from the mountains, as they did each bad winter. The bucks and does taught the young stag to keep downwind from the wolves. When the wolves finally scented the herd, though, several strong bucks kept to the rear of the herd, keeping the wolves away from the does and the young.

“The seasons turned, and the white stag was raised and well loved by all in the herd. But as he grew in size and strength, he never lost his white coat like the fawns lose their spots. In fact, his coat only seemed to grow more brilliant -- as if the moon had come to rest in his hide.

“One day in the fall, just as the young stag was getting the first of his antlers, something strange happened. There was a grizzly in the area who had gone mad with pain. A careless bow hunter had hit him, and left him suffering. He attacked any animal that came near him, and he suffered all the more when his movements made the shaft further open the wound.

Once the herd knew about the wounded grizzly, they made sure to keep out of his way. But the young white stag went off on his own. He approached the grizzly slowly. The bear’s red-rimmed eyes spotted him and he bellowed a terrible growl. The stag stood still, letting his clear eyes gaze into those of the bear. The bear’s madness began to fade, then pass. The stag then brushed his muzzle against the bear’s wounded side. The shaft fell out and the wound healed.

“Just then, the herd found him and one of the does stepped forward carefully. ‘There you are, young one. Step away from that bear. Didn’t we tell you he had gone mad?’

“‘But he’s alright now,’ he argued. ‘Can you not see that?’

“With amazement, they realized that the bear was healed. Only a small scar remained where the wound had been. ‘Come with us now, young one,’ a buck said quietly. ‘We’re off to find winter grazing, and we don’t want you lost out here.’

“‘Yes, sir,’ the white stag replied and took his place in the herd.

“‘What were you thinking of?’ one of the does scolded. ‘We were worried about you.’

“‘I didn’t mean to worry you. I was only doing my father’s work.’

“The members of the herd exchanged puzzled looks. None knew what the young stag had meant.

“Late that winter, the wolves came again. The stag by then had been taught to defend the females and younger members of the herd. When the chase began and the wolves howled their joy in the hunt, he took his place at the rear. But when the wolves drew closer, he stopped and turned to face them.

“‘He’s going to get himself killed,’ an older buck said. He turned to defend the herd beside the white stag, antlers lowered.

“But the white stag held his head high. ‘Brothers,’ he called out to the wolves. ‘This herd is not yours to hunt.’

“The alpha-male wolf paused and called back across the snowy woodland, ‘Brother, we are hungry and meat is scarce. You have many fine members in your herd. It’s our right and nature’s way that we have at least the weakest from your herd.’

“‘It is your right to hunt, brother. But I have chosen this herd for a special purpose. You shall not hunt here.’

“The alpha-male thought the answer over and replied, ‘As you will. We shall hunt elsewhere.’

“When the young stag turned, he saw the questions in the eyes of his herdmates. ‘I shall leave you for a time,’ he said, ‘But I shall find you when you’re needed. I thank you for raising me.’ With a few bounds, he disappeared into the thickness of the woodland.

“It wasn’t until a few years later that the white stag returned. His coat still gleamed white, and a full set of antlers crowned his head. ‘There’s someone in the nearby village that needs your help,’ he said. ‘A man by the name of Nicholas Claus brings food and toys to the poor children. And each year his burden grows heavier.’

“Since it was Christmas Eve, the herd agreed to help Nicholas. But as they shyly approached his cabin at the edge of the village, they remembered that men couldn’t understand their speech. ‘Stall him until midnight,’ the white stag suggested, ‘and then you can explain your intentions.’

“And that is what they did. A few does lured away the mule that Nicholas used to help carry the food and toys. Some spread the toys around the yard, careful not to damage any. Another hid a sack behind the stable.

“Soon Nicholas and his wife were outside, trying to chase the reindeer off and collect the scattered items. ‘Isn’t it strange,’ Nicholas’ wife said, ‘that the reindeer don’t run away.’

“‘Look there, dear,’ Nicholas said as he pointed at the white stag. ‘That’s the one I said watched me last year.’

“For a few more hours, the couple chased the reindeer about the yard. It soon became a game, and they couldn’t help laughing at the reindeer’s antics. But then, the village church bells rang in Christmas. ‘Enough already!’ Nicholas said. ‘I need to get these gifts to the children.’

“‘We’re here to help you do that,’ one of the reindeer said.

“‘Well why didn’t you say so earlier instead of scattering these gifts?’

“‘Christmas morning, sir. We couldn’t be understood by you until then.’

“‘Oh-ho! That’s right. So what are we waiting for? Let’s get you loaded up. The lot of you will save me several trips back home this night.’

“‘Here, dear,’ his wife said as she dragged some bells from the storage shed. ‘If we put these on the reindeer, the children will hear you coming and know that you haven’t forgotten them.’

“‘Splendid idea!’ Soon the reindeer were loaded up with sacks of gifts piled high on their backs and bells strung about their necks. Nicholas stopped at many villages that night. And everywhere he went, he brought joy to the children. Many children were asleep by now. And they wouldn’t know that he came until the next morning when they saw the gifts he had left.

“The reindeer helped Nicholas through the night. They returned to Nicholas’ home just as the first rays of dawn were lighting the winter sky.

“The white stag waited with Nicholas’ wife and nodded proudly when the herd returned. ‘You’ve done well tonight. This day I will give you two gifts. First, the speech of this herd and its descendants will be understood year round. This way you can work with Nicholas throughout the year. Second, as Nicholas’ work grows to cover the entire world, you shall receive a second gift. Those of this herd shall receive the gift of flight to help bear the burden, but only during my hours -- between midnight and dawn on Christmas morning.’”

+++ +++ +++

“And that,” concluded the doe, “is the story of Saint Nicholas’ reindeer.”

The four children stood in awe, motionless in the soft glow reflected from the snow at their feet. At that moment, a faint silvery sound of jingle bells could be heard above the treetops. The children looked up. Even Joey’s eyes took on the well-known wistful look as he silently mouthed the word, “Santa.”

The buck smiled at the children, “We speak and they remain silent. Go back to your homes, little ones, you know how Saint Nicholas feels about children being awake.”

Matt was the first to recover, “Uh, yeah. Thanks, Mr. Deer, uhm, whatever your name is. Let’s go Mary.” He tugged on his sister’s sleeve until she followed him up the path back to their home.

“Yeah,” added Joey, “like he says.” He gave a curt nod in the direction of the deer. “Thanks.” He turned to start his brother moving but found that Peter was already trudging through the snow back toward their home.

When Joey caught up with Peter, he saw that his brother’s eyes sparkled in the reflected light of his flashlight. “Where do you think you’re going in such a hurry?”

“To tell Mom and Dad what we just heard.”

“Are you NUTS!?!”

Peter stopped and turned to face his older brother. “No.”

“Well, you are if you tell them.” He rapped his mittened fist on his brother’s head for emphasis. “Remember we’re supposed to be asleep in our beds. If you tell them we’ll get into trouble, you moron!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Peter replied as he turned and started trudging up the path toward their back door. “Mom and Dad should hear the story too. Everyone should!”



- ESA

Lights in the Darkness

Last week I got some spare time to decorate the offices at work. When I was done, darkness had fallen outside and I could see the electric Christmas lights reflecting merrily in the blackened windows. It reminded me of a exclamation I heard many years ago: "In this time of such darkness - there are so many LIGHTS!"

As we draw closer to Christmas Day, we also draw closer to the solstice. Here in the north, the days have been getting shorter; I head to work before sunrise and sunset is before 4:30 in the afternoon now, so it's dark heading home. But the closer we get to the darkest time of the year, more and more people hang Christmas lights.

Trees are aglow outside and seen through windows. Lights are strung on bushes, windowpanes and doorways. Little lights flicker in paper bags along driveways and walkways. As one popular song reports: "Even stoplight blink a bright red and green."

While we enter into the darkest part of the year, we do our part to make it a little brighter - a little merrier. When we face other dark times - personally, as a community, as a country or globally - I pray we remember what we do during these seasonal periods of darkness, and do the same: SHARE OUR LIGHT!

- ESA

Christmas Dragon (Story)

This was likewise written a while ago, but is well worth posting again this time of year. This story was for verbal storytelling. So please, wrap your fingers around a warm mug, sit back and listen to the storyteller of days gone by...

_______________________________________________________________

Who knows the story of the Epiphany? You know, the story of the magi who trekked across the vast, dry desert to bring gifts to the infant Jesus? And we remember the three gifts they brought – gold, frankincense and myrrh. But what if I told you those were NOT the three gifts they bore with them when they started out on their long journey across the sands...

This is the story about the gift of gold that was presented to the newborn Christ.

* * * * * * *

Our story begins way back in a time when dragons still freely roamed throughout lands and flew in the skies over Eastern Europe. There was a small village nestled on the banks of a small river at the bottom of a deep valley. The river’s source was this large, clear lake higher in the mountains where a natural dike held back the water and let only a small amount trickle gently down into the valley below.

On this particular day, a young – and rather bored – blue dragon was bent on mischief. He decided to tear down the dike to see how many villagers could scramble out of the path of the impending flash-flood – much like a child who dams a curbside rivulet and then removes the twigs and mud to see how many ants would be swept away.

Unknown to the blue dragon, there was an older golden dragon higher on the mountaintop observing him. The young dragon latched onto the dike with his claws and pulled away large chunks of earth, opening the way to the rush of water.

The older dragon sadly shook his huge scaled head, opened his golden wings to the bright afternoon sunlight and dove into crisp mountain air. Within a heartbeat, he was atop a small hill that rose beside the river above the village. Two graceful bounds brought him to the foot of the hill opposite the river, where the dragon planted his foreclaws into the hillside. He began to push the whole hill toward the river. The river waters started to gurgle louder as the surface quickly reached the limits of the river’s banks.

The hill would not budge; even for a mighty dragon, this was an unlikely feat of strength. A dull roar thundered up the valley – growing louder by the second. The dragon str
ained all the muscles in his body as he tried to will the stone beneath the dirt and tree-cover to move. His sharp hearing then caught the terrified shouts and cries from the village downriver.

The golden dragon cast his eyes heavenward in a silent plea. At once, strength beyond his experience filled his muscles, and with a desperate roar tearing from his throat, he cracked the bedrock and thrust the small hill into the river’s path below. A large crash thundered along the valley as dirt, rock and tree tumbled into the churning brown water below. Moments later a deafening roar reverberated up the valley as the main body of the flash
flood collided with the newly-made dam.

The sudden strength quickly left the golden dragon. He bowed his head elegantly in thanks, then unfurled his wings to take flight. Leaping into the air, he spied the young blue dragon hurtling toward him, seething in anger.

“Why have you done this?” the blue dragon roared, flinging a claw in the direction of the water rising safely behind the new dam.

The golden dragon sighed. He looked at the younger dragon with pity in his great golden orbs and replied, “If you truly wish to know, follow me.” With a majestic sweep of his wings, the late afternoon sunlight sparkling golden on his sides, the older dragon flew gracefully toward a ledge high on a mountaintop.

Perplexed, the younger dragon followed silently behind him. At the ledge, the golden dragon perched on the bare rocks and surveyed the valley and village far below. When the blue dragon landed lightly beside him, the older dragon turned his golden gaze to him and said, “Furl your wings and listen to my tale.”


+++ + +++


“When I was a young dragon, centuries ago, I lived in the desert far southeast from here. One night, I awoke to discover this brilliant light shinning down into the cave I used as my weir. Moving to the cave’s entrance, I discovered the most remarkable stellar light shining down from the heavens. Curious, as I was in those days, I spread my wings and flew out into the clear star-speckled desert sky.


“During this flight, I witnessed a small band of travelers crossing the desert sands. They kept glancing skyward. At first, I believed they heard the wind from my wings, but they always looked toward the same bright star; a star that even outshone the moon’s glow.

“Careful not to be seen, I swept closer to observe them better. These were men, wealthy by their standards, and far from home by their appearance and dress. They plodded along on their camels, sure in their path across the dry land.

“My curiosity rose a notch and keeping downwind of their mounts, I landed and quietly approached them. ‘Where are you heading so far from your home?’ I asked them in what I hoped was their language.

“Recognition lit in their eyes at hearing my words, though they and their camels shied away from my luminous gaze. ‘We are going to see the king whose star we have seen in the east,’ one replied, sweeping his arm toward the bright star.

“‘We are bringing gifts to present to him,’ another added as he gestured to the parcels tied to their mounts. My nose detected the frankincense and myrrh, and I could see the s
hapes of scrolls and books.

“This perplexed me somewhat. ‘Why would you travel so far from home, through cold desert nights and hot, dry desert days on such a long journey to give away your treasures to a newborn child? What will you get in return?’

“This question seemed to puzzle them and they spoke briefly among themselves. Then one turned back to me and replied, ‘These are gifts, not trade goods; we expect nothing in return.’

“‘Nothing!?!’ said I. ‘After you spend all your time, resources and efforts to trek across the desert with treasures to give to a babe you’ve never seen? You expect NOTHING in return?’


“Another of the men paused in thought a moment, perhaps trying to understand my perspective. At last he answered, ‘We may receive the new king’s blessings, His Grace.’

“‘Grace?’ I felt my eyes sparkle in sheer curiosity at this. ‘What is Grace?’

“‘It is the greatest treasure of all,’ came the reply.


“I pondered these words for several moments, my tail trashing through the dry air as it does when I’m deep in new thoughts. Then I wanted to confirm my thoughts. I said to them, ‘Let me see if I understand you. If you give your treasures to this newborn king – the one whose star you follow – he will give you this Grace?’

“‘We believe it to be so,’ one stated as the others nodded in agreement.

“I considered this a moment more and asked, ‘If I also go with my treasure and give it to this child king, could I also receive this Grace?’


“The men paused again to confer among themselves and one replied, ‘We believe there is that possibility as well, though we never considered it a gift your kind ever needed, noble dragon.’

“I rose up on my haunches and responded, ‘If this Grace is truly the greatest gift of all, it is something my kind would also desire to posses. I unfurled my wings ready to take flight and asked, ‘Where can I find this newborn king?’

“One pointed skyward and instructed, ‘Follow the brightest star until it shines straight down upon the dwelling where He is. The child will be found inside.’


“I thanked them and permitted the men and the camels to continue on their journey. When they were a safe distance, I leapt into the star-filled sky. In a few wingstrokes, I was back at my weir where I gathered all the gold I possessed. For surely if this Grace was inde
ed the greatest treasure of them all, it was worth all that I possessed. With my young arms so burdened, I launched myself skyward. Quickly I overtook the men and their slow-moving camels and continued toward our mutual destination far ahead of them.

“Checking the star’s location often, I found myself approaching a small walled town the humans called Bethlehem. But as I started to descend toward the town, the brilliant starlight sparkled like diamonds along my golden hide. The soldiers on the wall saw my descent and shouted the alarm. As spears, rocks and arrows began to hurtle toward me, I dodged and maneuvered around the missiles. All too quickly, it became obvious that I would have to leave or slaughter the city’s defenders. I decided this quest was not worth the fight. Perhaps this new king did not want dragonkind to have this Grace, I thought sadly.

“As I arced over the town to return to the desert, I felt a gentle tug at the fabric of my very inner self. The newborn king knew I was there. But I could not present my own gifts to Him. I sadly shook my head and winged away from the soldiers and their walled town of Bethlehem.

“Soon I met with the foreign men still out in the desert. I
landed lightly downwind of them once again and approached them with the gold still heaped in my arms.

As I related to them what transpired at Bethlehem, I did not tell them about that strange tug to my inner self or the growing warmth of Love and understanding that seemed affixed deep within me. I did not yet know what this new sensation was.

“At the conclusion of my tale, I placed the gold before the men and requested, ‘Take this gold to the newborn king and tell him it’s my gift to Him.’


“The men fell silent and exchanged glances. One was brave enough to ask, ‘And you seek nothing in return?’


“I shook my head, yearning to depart from them for this strange feeling deep inside me needed quiet contemplation.

“The men looked at the heaps of gold on the ground and at their well-burdened camels. At last, an idea bloomed in the mind of one. ‘Wait yet a moment more, noble dragon. For we can not take all our gifts AND your gift of gold with only the mounts we have. Let me give you my gift to take home with you.’ The man that spoke rapidly emptied his parcels of the scrolls and bound books of wisdom and refilled the sacks with my gift. ‘I will tell the newborn king this is your gift. This,’ he gestured toward the small mountain of knowledge, ‘is my gift to dragonkind.’


This man knew our kind well, for we forever seek to gain knowledge and wisdom, but I did not understand why he was giving it as a gift. I asked, ‘What do you want in exchange for this knowledge given to my kind?’

“He replied, ‘The same I expected from the newborn king, nothing; it is a gift.’

“‘What about His Grace?’ I asked.


“The man climbed up onto his camel and urged it to rise. Then he met my eyes, and I saw the wisdom that filled his own. After a moment of silence, he replied, ‘I believe
we have both already received that gift from the newborn king.’

“I sat in the open desert for a long time after that, watching the men follow the brilliant star toward Bethlehem. That new feeling deep inside me never left and is still with me today.”

+++ + +++

When the golden dragon had finished his remarkable story, the blue dragon cocked his head in interest.

“So then you received this gift of Grace?”


The golden dragon nodded elegantly. “You have seen it within my actions today.”


“What about the books and scrolls of wisdom?” asked the blue dragon skeptically. Then he paused and his cobalt eyes widened in sudden recognition. “You’re Him! You’re the one who brought wisdom and knowledge to all dragonkind!”


“Yes, but I also brought a far greater gift to our kind as well,” responded the golden dragon quietly.


“What?”

“His Grace.”

The expression on the blue dragon’s face showed a blend of skepticism and curiosity. “You can share that gift with others? How could I get some? Where do I have to go for it?”

The golden dragon raised his head to peer wistfully at the first evening star shining on the eastern horizon. “You must be willing to give up what you treasure most to find the greatest treasure of all. Then look deep within yourself. When you are ready to receive it, it will be there.”

The young blue dragon peered at the evening star and with a sigh turned to the golden dragon. “But this newborn king you knew is no longer in this world. It was so long ago and humans do not live as long as our kind. How am I to receive His Grace then?”

The golden dragon looked down at the blue dragon and smiled a broad draconic smile, his gol
den eyes sparkling with an inner Joy. “Oh, that King still lives. That was only the very beginning of His story. Do as I say and you too will find Him and His Grace.”

* * *

Thus concludes the story of the Christmas Dragon and his gift of gold to the newborn Christ.

__________________________________________________________________
- ESA

Snowball Fight (Story)

Speaking of 1996, that was also the year of the funniest snowball fight I have ever participated in. The following are actual e-mails between my then-boyfriend (now husband) and myself as we battled interstate with frozen balls of virtual water...

********************************************************

To: Tony
From: Tara
Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 1996
Subject: Heads up

Have you seen the virtual snowball fights people have these days. Since there’s not much snow here, I’ll scoop up a mostly mudball (with a little snow) and send it your way.

*** MUDBALL ***

Love,
Tara
______________________________________________________________

To: Tara
From: Tony
Sent: Thursday, December 12, 1996
Subject: Re: Heads up

The mudball sails through the air, heading for its target. Suddenly a flurry of movement. The mudball explodes and returns to you in a shower of dirty snow. Didn't know about the paddle ball paddle did you. While you are dealing with the muddy shower you hear several thumping sounds.


Twenty snow balls (clean) heading your way. Can you say catapults?


Love,

Tony

______________________________________________________________

To: Tony
From: Tara

Sent: Friday, December 13, 1996

Subject: Re: Heads up

Is that what this brown snow is? The watery mud freezes as it reaches the higher elevations of Northeastern PA. The scattering of moisture mixes with the snow already falling here.

A few snowballs (apparently from your catapult) come hurtling from the sky. As the snowballs come screeching groundward, I yank the oversized rubber tarp off of the back of my landlord's truck. The snowballs hit the outstretched tarp, and spring back at an angle right back at you. (Please note, depending on the weather you have there, you'll either get rain, or one heck of hail storm.)


HERE THEY COME....


SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW

BALL....BALL...BALL...BALL...BALL...BALL...BALL...BALL....BALL

Love,

Tara


______________________________________________________________

To: Tara
From: Tony
Date: Monday, December 16, 1996
Subject: Re: Heads up


Seeing the number in incoming snowballs can't be handled with one paddle, I call out a secret weapon kept just for something like this... Just as the snowballs get close, a team of trained beavers jump into action. Each snowball is returned by a whack of a flat beaver tail. Right back at you.

....THUMP.....

Plus another load from the catapults.

Oh by the way the beavers were team one. If you look at the rubber tarp you will find it cut to shreds by a team of Ninja crayfish. Watch out they pinch!

Looking up from the useless tarp you will see a sky full of snow balls heading your way....

Love,

Tony


______________________________________________________________

To: Tony
From: Tara

Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 1996

Re: Heads up


Ah‑ha! Foolish man in far away land!


I am prepared for your return fire. For you see I had plugged in the world's largest space heater up on the roof. Since it took a while to heat up, I had to use the tarp last time.


As the snowballs hurtle to Earth, they melt and turn into a softly falling rain.


As for the crayfish... well, let's just say I shouldn't have left the space heater on unattended.
The roof caught on fire and the ropes holding the space heater burnt through. With a crash that reverberated off the lake the space heater came crashing down on the crayfish.

Valiantly attempting to ninja‑leap out of the way, the sheer girth of the world's largest space heater was too much for them. They were cremated on the spot. (Plus the damn heater melted all the snow in the area ‑‑ Oh, well, we have a blizzard moving into the area tonight.)


Heading your way....


By the way, reindeer aren't bright creatures. They assumed that since I'm Irish[-American], I have a running tab at every bar in the area (and there are approximately 527 independent bars in the Scranton area).

Well I told them that they could all buy drinks on me, but that there's not a working rest room anywhere in the state. I gave them directions to your place.


HEADS UP....


Here comes a dozen (plus Rudolf) drunk reindeer with full bladders....

P.S. I wouldn't use the paddle or beavers with this. It could be messy.
Love,
Tara

______________________________________________________________

To: Tara
From: Tony
Date: Wednesday, December 18, 1996
Subject: Re: Heads up

Well looks like I don't have to do anything this time, just sit back and watch (with some amazement)... You've done it all yourself. Let’s see, you set fire to the roof, so much for a place to live.


Now about the crayfish, when the rain from the snow balls hit the space heater (sorry worlds largest space heater) it created a huge steam cloud, covering the whole area. The crayfish got away by diving into the lake (melted by the heat from the you-know-what) and quickly out again on the other side. What you thought was them was just some sticks and leaves on the ground.


For you see the space heater (worlds largest) has now fallen into the lake and shorted out.
Zap! So much for the fish, they were electrocuted. But that is not all for you see that between the immense heat and the electricity all of the water in the lake has been vaporized. This with the snow that was already on the ground has resulted in a rapidly rising damp air mass. Can we say thunderstorm (worlds largest); can you say tornado (really big!)? The crayfish are running as fast as they can, dodging lightning and grabbing on to the ground to keep from getting sucked in.

However your neighbors' houses are not so lucky. Every structure around the lake is either fried by lightning (worlds largest) or blown down by the winds (worlds fastest), or smashed by hail stones (worlds biggest) or sucked up buy the tornado (worlds suckyest).


Luckily, due to the cold weather and the fact that the space heater was so short lived the storms die down quickly.
Now all you neighbors, (or is it county) are heading your way. Well at least the tar will be hot and you look good in feathers.

Oh but that's not the last of it, through a combination of the bad weather (worlds craziest) your directions (worlds worst) and being very (527 bars worth) drunk. Those reindeer are back and are now giving a new meaning to the name RAIN-(world's yellowest)-deer.


And this is some downpour (527 bars worth)! The lake will be overflowing in moments, now there is a flood. To add to the horror one should not drink and fly. Some of the reindeer have crashed into the few standing trees and structures, exploding like overfull water balloons (those 527 bars worth full bladders). Looks like Santa maybe flying a little short this year.


Let’s see how the score stands, you've, single-handedly, turned the countryside into a smashed, yellow-flooded, reindeer-bit-covered disaster area. You have a nice coat of tar and feathers and Santa may not be making his deliveries do to a shortage of reindeer.


Well some good news: due to the bad weather (courtesy of Tara, world’s biggest tar and feathered klutz), the return I had set into motion timed to arrive now has been delayed, possibly to next round. Which is just as well, as it may be the only source of fresh water for miles around.


Love,

Tony

P.S.: The crayfish are back only slightly cooked, swearing that we are crazy.

********************************************************************


NEWSPAPER CLIPPING:


Bizarre series of disasters have struck a large section of PA.

A series of disasters have struck a large area of PA near Scranton. Everything from bizarre weather, loss of power, riots over bar closings and unheard of attacks by deer population have left a large section of PA under Marshall Law. In Just one day the world seems to have turned upside down. Some are saying the end of the world is coming early. One report blames all the disasters on some strange feathered woman. Here are summaries of some of the reports from this devastated area.


Electric Power To Be Down For Months -
The whole power distribution system around Scranton was destroyed today by a massive power surge. So powerful was the surge that over a hundred miles of power lines have been vaporized, substations have melted down and most of the generators have fused solid. One power company official stated, “It was like someone had plugged in the world’s largest space heater and then shorted it out.” It is estimated that it will take months before minimal power is restored to all customers, and a year before all the destroyed equipment is replaced. It looks like dark ages ahead.

!!! Weather Turns Wild !!! -
Out of nowhere a massive thunderstorm appeared and flattened a section of land 50 miles in diameter around Chapman Lake. One weather man was heard to say, “It was like it rose right out of the ground, like someone had vaporized a whole lake with the world’s biggest space heater.” The resulting massive lightning, huge hailstones (“the size of beach balls”) and tornadoes have fried, smashed or torn up every thing around the lake. None of the locals could be found for comment. It seems they were out chasing something covered in tar and feathers. The massive and sudden warm front has melted all the snow in area of 4,000 square miles. Looks like it won’t be a White Christmas this year.

Massive Flood of Yellow Water -
The Chapman Lake area was hit by a massive flood of yellow water. This water strangely enough is said to smell strongly of liquor, and some hunters say deer. It is assumed that the water is undrinkable. Because of this, all local drinking water is to be assumed contaminated and dangerous to drink. The National Guard is trying to ship in drinking water to the devastated areas.

Over 500 Local Bars Close Do To Lack Of Stock; Local Don't Know How They Will Deal With In‑Laws –
It looks like it will be a dry holiday in upper PA. Bar owners say that reindeer have “drunk them dry” the cost going on one person’s tab. It is feared that if this person can’t cover the massive tabs at all of the bars, these bars will go bankrupt and close for good. At the very least there will be no spirits for the holiday. Without the holiday spirits, most locals can’t face their families. Local police are gearing up for a record number of shootings this holiday season.

Exploding Reindeer Attack Residents -
Strange reports have come in of reindeer flying drunkenly into local structure and exploding in a great burst of yellow fluid and reindeer bits. So far, due to the other disasters in the area, these reports remain unconfirmed.

Santa May Call Off Christmas Deliveries; Children Go into Depression -
A supposed report from Santa Claus states due to the condition of his reindeer he will be unable to make his deliveries this year. It seems some of the deer are so drunk that there is no way they will be sober in time. And if they were, the hangovers would be incapacitating. The rest of the reindeer seem to have exploded in some bizarre accidents. Children, upon hearing this, have gone on hunger strikes, resulting in a crash of the breakfast cereal market. The toy market has also been hit. It may be years before the economy recovers.

Strange Feathered Woman Chased by Hunters -
A report of a strange creature that is said to be covered with feathers and smell strongly of tar is being hunted by residents in the disaster area. When pressed for a statement one of the torch-carrying locals stated that THAT thing was the cause of all the strange events in the area. When asked if it was supposed to be the devil, the local said, “No, just a klutz.” It is clear the mental health of the locals has been affected by all that they have been through.

In wrapping up to deal with of these bizarre happenings, the National Guard of three States have been called in and Marshall law declared. One can only hope that nothing more will go wrong. It would take the biggest klutz in the world to make it worse.....

______________________________________________________________

To: Tony

From: Tara

Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 1996

Subject: RE: Heads up


Guess what! Since one of my neighbors (the one with the feathers) had a video cam and filmed all this. The neighborhood won the grand prize: “America's Funniest Home Video of the Decade.” The award was so large I was able to have all my neighbors sent to Florida or the Bahamas as their homes are being rebuilt and re-landscaped.


As for the yellow lake, with the dropping temperatures in PA, it'll be frozen by daybreak. And with the blizzard arriving overnight, it'll all look fresh, clean and white by this time tomorrow.


To top all this off, my ACME MOUNTAINTOP FULL OF SNOW THROWER just arrived in the mail. I wedge this small thing in a crack in one of the many mountains. Push a button and 'CLICK' the thrower expands to the width of the mountain. Then, after enough snow has fallen, I hit the little red button that says, "Don't push this unless you really, Really, REALLY, RRREEEAAALLLYYY mean it!" TWANG!


The mountain top is projected in your direction, held in the grip of the snow thrower, and what's not attached (snow, cars, a few people and animals) come hurtling your way!


HEADS UP!!!!


Love,

Tara


______________________________________________________________

To: Tara
From: Tony
Date: Thursday, December 19, 1996
Subject: Re: Heads up

My jaw drops open, the crayfish scurry for cover, she's done it again... Tara, the disaster that walks...


You are taking a whole mountain and throwing it at me, stopping the mountain suddenly so that all that is not attached comes heading my way. I thought this was supposed to be a snow ball fight; people and cars are not included. You are not winning any brownie points with PA by throwing its citizens and their belongings around. But this isn't going to be the worst of it.


You see those mountains, how do you think they got there? You in the back... Right! The earth moved; massive earth quakes were needed to raise the mountains. Now what do you think throwing one is going to do? The one in green... Yup, I'd say about 6.7 on the Richter Scale. Well, what ever was left standing in northern PA just got shaken down. Congratulations, I think this is the first earth quake in that part of the country since the founding of the US.


By the way, do you know why rockets are launched toward the east? (The crayfish are arranging to evacuate aquatic life from PA.) It’s so they can get a boost from the rotation of the earth. They don't need as much thrust to achieve orbit. Well the denser and more streamlined of the mountain covering is doing just that.


I can see the insurance reports now. “I was just driving down the road, the next thing I know the space shuttle pulled out in front of me.” Most of the cars, people, and houses are going where few have gone before... Tara Trek!


The other stuff, mostly snow dirt and trees goes high but does not quite make it. It falls back, the atmosphere slowing its return. It returns to earth. But while it has been flying around, the Earth has moved below it... in an eastwardly direction... see where I'm heading? Lookup, you will see where your mountain is heading... right down on you!


But before it arrives, remember the thing I said had been delayed due to your weather? Well it did manage to come through. A delivery man comes to you with a small box and asks you to sign for the delivery. After you finished, you very carefully open the box.


Inside is a snow ball and a note. The note says more behind you. You turn around just in time to see the three truck loads of snow balls dumped on top of you. (The delivery people get the hell out of there, lead by a few frantic crayfish.)


Of course being buried under snow balls may not be that bad. You are safe from any locals (who can still walk), that might be hunting you. But that they are not the real problems.


Remember all those reindeer you had blown up or otherwise incapacitated for over a year? Well... there are a lot of very mad and very sexually frustrated does looking for you. Being under that snow isn't so bad now is it?


But wait! There's more! Remember the yellow rain? Remember it smelt strongly of liquor? Well that's because it was mostly alcohol (500+ bars worth). Now take quartz and iron glass created by the lightning, shake together hard (the earthquake) we get sparks! Yup, your lake has exploded and a lot of the surrounding land has burst into flames. Since a lot of the alcohol had soaked into the ground we have geysers of flame all over the place. Northern PA will be burning for weeks. No White Christmas now. Now the snow is keeping your feathers from getting burnt.


But wait, THERE'S MORE!! The does that were looking for you were flying low over the area looking for you when the earthquake struck and the place turned into the world’s largest rotisserie oven. Once more the snow protects you, this time from being pelted to death by hot, well done reindeer steaks.


When they have stopped falling, you might want to stay under a little longer for now by the mountain-load of stuff you sent up has arrived. The hot air and alcohol vapor is compressed and forced out through the sides. A ring of flame sprays out vaporizing the snow for hundreds of miles. The Independence Day aliens are envious; so much for a White Christmas in the northeastern part of North America. All that is left is a small mound of snow with guess who inside. Hint: she smells like tar, looks like feathers.


By the way flying reindeer might be extinct. We don't know if any of the does survived.


Well I have to go help with the disaster relief effort for PA. I hear that the state will be quarantined. Every one is afraid of whatever is causing these events from getting out (is being a klutz contagious?). I will try to send you a news report. Try to stay out of trouble.


Love,

Tony

******************************************************************

NEWSPAPER CLIPPING:

More Weirdness in PA; Bizarre Events Spreading

Not only have more previously unheard of events hit upper PA, but now the area of weirdness is spreading even to earth orbit. Here are summaries of some of the more interesting events. At this point, the reports of a massive earthquake, lakes exploding into flame, massive rings of fire and the sky falling (again) don't even get a yawn.


Mountain Jumps
- A mountain on the edge of the area of the bizarre events was reported to jump into the air. Witnesses (though we don’t understand why anyone would be anywhere near this crazy land) reported that the mountain leapt into the air shaking off all of its covering. Houses, cars, people, deer, snow; everything went flying. One local was heard to state “The hills are alive! And they itch!”

Manna Tastes Like Venison
- A Scranton, PA area local, who had been pinned under rubble for over 24 hours, had been has been found. The man kept from starving by eating what he called “Manna from Heaven. I was so hungry and cold, I though I would die when suddenly the earth shook the sky lit up and then bits of manna fell from the sky.” The lucky survivor stated. “It was just like fresh roasted venison, very tender.” Meanwhile, most local restaurants (those with a roof) are selling steaks cheap.

Space Shuttle Hit by Volkswagen -
The space shuttle had to end its mission early when it was struck by a woman driving a Volkswagen. The woman complained that the shuttle didn't signal as it was passing. Police forces are still trying to write up the accident report.

Massive Crayfish Migration -
A massive exodus of crayfish from the affected area has been reported. These usual shy critters appear to be leaving any way possible. It has even been reported that several delivery trucks have been high-jacked by the fear-crazed crustaceans. In a possibly related report, people around the world who are making snow balls have been attacked by crayfish.

______________________________________________________________

To: Tony
From: Tara

Sent: Thursday, December 19, 1996

Subject: RE: Heads up


The mound of snowballs shifts slightly. For a moment one feathered hand (smelling like tar) appears, as the top snowball is tossed aside.

The hand disappears back into the mound. A stick slowly rises in its stead a few minutes later.


Something white unfurls at its top. It looks like ‑‑ can it be? ‑‑ white bikini briefs. Can this strange feathered creature (that smells like tar) actually have been wearing underwear?


Anyway, the snow balls are freezing my rear end. How about getting a rescue squad out my way??? I’M COLD!!! I GIVE UP!!! OK!?

______________________________________________________________
********************************************************************************


-ESA (Tara)


PS: No people, animals, fictional characters beloved of children, homes, lakes, landscapes, or space shuttles were harmed in generating the above fictional work. :D


A Medieval Christmas Poem

I had written the following poem in 1996, while I was active Medieval recreationist in the SCA. My persona was from Ireland, thus the point of view in the poem. Enjoy a wee bit of humor in the rewrite of a famous Christmas poem:

____________________________________________________________________

How St. Nicholas Has Enough Toys for the World at Christmas
`Twas two nights before Christmas, and all through the castle
Not a sound was heard, not even a rattle.
When outside the city gates there arose such a clatter.
People sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Down at the gates was a man very queer
With an army of elves and many reindeer.
He was armored in velvet, a very bright red
With a white fur trim from his toes to his head.
Drawing his sack, they all charged the gate.
The guards cried out, but it was really too late.
They spilt not one drop of crimson blood,
But flowed through the gates like a red and green flood.
The townsfolk cried out in anguish and fear,
“Saints and begorah! The fay are all here!”
Onto banked fires they all through more peat.
But the elves had ignored them, and headed up the street.
`Twas to the toy-maker’s shop that they drew,
The elves, reindeer and Nicolas Claus too.
They spoke not a word, but went straight to work.
They filled all their sacks and turned with a jerk.
Then with a nod, they all faded away,
Without leaving a footprint behind in the hay.
At last the toy-man got out from under his bed.
He just looked around the room and shook his poor head.
The toys were all gone; new supplies in their stead,
plus a bag of silver, two gold, he came out ahead.
Not understanding the fay who disappeared from sight,
At least they paid him for the toys out right.
And the very next night, good children rich and poor,
Found a brand new toy waiting for them at their door.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Favor Returned (Story)

Originally published in a fanzine, I thought to share this fictional story with my readers as it relates to both gratitude and America's start. It's not a "Thanksgiving" story, but it does start in the winter of 1777...

__________________________________________________________________

Favor Returned

20 December 1777 - We finally reached our winter camp at Valley Forge yesterday. It's defensible and almost pretty with the fresh blanket of snow. I've been assigned to help build the huts, which gives me a chance to wander into the woodlands for building supplies. It's not soon enough, though. The tent leaves me chilled to the bone as my bedroll and clothes are threadbare. While I was in the woods gathering logs yesterday, I spied something. The snowfall made it difficult to see and when I turned my head, all I saw was a flash of something. The figure was too small for a man, but not like any of the fauna I've seen in Pennsylvania before.

21 December 1777 - Some of the men in my regiment also saw the strange beings in the woods. We discussed it around the fire last night and debated whether the wee people were in America as well as back home in our dear Ireland. When the last of the milk rations were distributed, we decided to follow an old Irish tradition. We each set aside a portion of our milk in one tin. Then later we brought the tin into the woods at twilight. Of course, we all hid ourselves to watch like a pack of young lads. And surein' they came! I don't have the words to describe what emerged from some shadowed pocket of the woods. The details were hard to made out for we only saw their silhouettes against the purple/red western sky. But we could definitely tell that they all wore clothes and walked on two legs. They passed the milk tin from one to another and each drank in turn. Even in America, these wee people seemed both similar and so different from us.

22 December 1777 - We found the wee people's footprints in the snow when we returned to the woods. They were not a dream. We agreed then to keep setting aside a portion of whatever rations we had to share with them.

15 January 1778 - My stomach hurts something terrible from the hunger, and my bones ache with cold. Many of the men in my hut developed a rattling, tearing cough and fever. Many are sick in the camp now; foraging and hunting fill my days. Surein' there's a little food left for the wee people with so many camped here. I keep leaving some firecake out for them each night. I don't have time to wait and watch anymore; we have to keep watch that the Torries aren't sneaking up on us.

21 January 1778 - I hear supplies may arrive from Congress soon. The rations are even poorer with so many of us quarantined. Doc says everyone in my hut has "new-mone-ya." I've got a fever, but my cough isn't that bad yet. I can't stomach any more firecakes and the icy water makes my stomach cramp.

29 January 1778 - I dreamed that wee people came into our hut last night. They made us drink some warm broth by the light of the candles they brought. It was bitter and hard to stomach, like the herbs my grandmother gave me when I was sick. It was strange being tended by these folk that acted like men, kind and gentle, yet seemed so strange. Though none of them spoke to us in English, their smiles were warm. Then they stripped us carefully of our nightshirts and bedrolls and placed us in finer, warmer ones. We slept wonderfully well then.

30 January 1778 - They visited again last night, all the wee people. One was female with hands soft and warm when she touched my forehead and pulled back my hair. She was dressed similar to the way our women do. The others were dressed in clothing akin to that which our men wear, wrapped up snugly for warmth. Their eyes shone bright in the candlelight and their skin, where visible, shone like the moon. They quickly and firmly returned us to our original clothes and bedrolls - both cleaned and repaired during the interim. Then we were fed more broth with some potato and peas. There was also honey-sweetened tea. It made me feel a bit stronger and eased my fever and the weight on my chest. I don't think I've ever slept better that night.

12 February 1778 - Doc finally let us break quarantine and leave the hut. I can't believe how many people are gone. Many left, many more died, some are still out foraging. But I'm not as surprised as Doc. He says he can't figure out how we all recovered so well and so quickly - let alone survived - when so many others died. The men in my hut believe my story; some even remember seeing them too. But many others tell me it was just a fever dream.

____________________________________________________________

- ESA


Friday, October 28, 2011

A Response

There has been many tweets about a particular individual who gets nasty and venomous when he sees people have unfollowed him. While I have read the reports, I also did my homework and researched it myself to confirm this. There have been many requesting I unfollow this individual as well. I would like to share with these people, and all who may be interested, why - after prayerful consideration - I will not.

You are not the first to request I unfollow one person or another, due to a wide range of reasons, including that those I follow may be:
- homosexual
- pagan
- atheist
- jewish
- muslim
- republican
- democrat
- liberal
- conservative
- right-to-lifer
- pro-choice
- Obama supporter
- Obama hater
- OWS supporter
- OWS hater

... you get the idea.




As I state in my blog "About Me" - I'm an open, friendly person who gets along with any type of person and welcome anyone to converse with me on any subject. Everyone brings with them something I can learn no matter their ability, background, education, income, intellect, lifestyle, nationality, position, religious beliefs, or any other lines with which humanity tends to divide itself. The world is filled with wondrous variety and I strive to find the Light and Love that exists in each and every person.


While this particular case is about one person, I still see the trend, a pattern. The call to isolate and banish someone. I grew up the outcast one! I was the outsider! Even the kids that were picked on and beaten up by the class bullies did the same cruel things to me, just to prove to themselves they were not the very bottom of the social pecking order! I hated it. I still hate it! When I see a group rally to do that to someone I cringe. I cry.


I will not unfollow, nor will I promote what is wrong - on either side of this battle. I am here only to erase lines - not draw them. I am here to connect with all of humanity - we are all the same under the skin. I encourage people to shine the Light within and share the Love we all have inside. I will not encourage hate.


If I choose to unfollow, I only do so for two reasons: either they are not following me, and I need to free up some follows to follow others who are interested in interacting with me, or their profile page reads like an advertising column. I get enough sales pitches in my day job and on TV.


I will not condone your reasons for not following one you find offensive; that is your right and your choice. But I recall that Christ was found in the company of tax-collectors, prostitutes, lepers, Romans and those whom others found repulsive and avoided being seen in their company. I choose to follow where He leads, not where others tell me to go.

I choose not to cast a stone.

Thank you for reading this.
May Peace be found in your heart.
May you follow Love from the start.

- ESA