Paperclips

Though my bloodline makes me an American-European mutt, I grew up with a strong Irish-American background. Not only did we revel in the gift to tell stories, elaborate and exaggerate events and, as Mark Twain once quipped, "never let the truth get in the way of a good story." After nearly four decades of this, lying had become second-nature and I discovered I was astute at it. Sadly, this was a talent that was not only praised but celebrated in my family. :(

A few years ago, I reached a point where I wanted to improve myself - Spiritually and morally. I had to face the fact: LYING HAD TO STOP. It was hard. I tried and failed and tried again so many, many times. The enemy had practically convinced me that it was impossible as I was so set in my ways that I couldn't change.

A fellow co-worker at the time was in Weight Watchers and had told me how hard it was for her to change her eating habits. Then she took out this string of five colored paperclips. She told me that each paperclip represented a pound that she had lost on the plan. Every week she gets evaluated and paperclips are either added or removed, depending on how well she is doing. Anytime she starts to cave in to the temptation of food, hunger and lifestyle pattern she pulls out these paperclips and reminds herself, "I've come this far. I will not blow it by giving into temptation now." The longer the chain, the greater her desire to fight the temptation.

I used this to help me.

I started simple. For every day that I didn't tell a lie, I would add a paperclip. I didn't carry them around. I hung them from a push-pin in the wall right next to my laptop screen at the office. Work was where I was frequently tempted to lie. For example, I would lie to my boss about why the work wasn't done, as I chatted, tweeted, watched videos, etc. instead of doing my work first as I should. You can see how lies progressed into something even larger. So that is where I needed my reminders the most. As an added incentive, the place I chose to start the chain was beside an image of Yeshua / Jesus I have on the wall.

Day-by-day, I progressed. Days I lied, I removed one paperclip. Days I went through without a lie, I added one. There were stretches when the paperclip I added on the wall in the morning was gone before quitting time. But little-by-little, through persistence and prayer, I managed to have that chain grow. It was beautiful! And what my co-worker said was true. The longer the chain, the more incentive I had NOT to lie. I even found that I would go back to my boss after the lie and admit that I lied, apologized, and did my work as I should.

One day, I found the chain was nearly to the floor. Then I upped the challenge. I would continue to add a paperclip (looping it if I have to) for each day I managed to not tell a lie, but I would remove ALL paperclips if I lied. The first time I lied after that point was tragic. I cannot describe the pain and shame as I went paperclip by paperclip unhooking that wonderfully long chain and putting the paperclips back in the container. I felt like an utter failure.

But I began again. One paperclip. One day. Another and the chain grew again.

After several weeks of this, I switched to one paperclip for each week. This made things even harder. For one lie would destroy weeks of work! The chain hanging beside Christ's image kept me strong as I struggled each day not to lie. And when I messed up and did lie, I wept as I dismantled that chain.

Months came and went and new calendars were hung on that wall as the years changed. Eventually I no longer needed the paperclip chain. They are forever engraved in my mind. Every time I find a lie slip through my lips I cringe. Sometimes I cry. I am not perfect. I ask forgiveness and begin again each and every time. But I have been able to keep lies from me as much as I possibly can. In fact, it's now painful for me to intentionally lie. So I don't.

What else can I now change in my life?
One paperclip at a time.
And begin again.

-ESA

Random Acts of Care

One of the stories my father told me, and I included in his eulogy years later, was one of caring for our fellow human beings. He was driving along this road late one night and saw someone parked on the shoulder with a flat tire, struggling to change it. As this was well before cell phones, and in a place where it may be hours before a police cruiser passed, my father stopped to help him. It was evident from the start, the man did not know what he was doing, so my father took the tire iron and changed the tire for him. When the man took out his wallet and tried to pay for the job, my father refused the money and, instead, told him this. "You know how you can repay me? Next time you see someone in need where you can do something, help them. If they offer you payment, tell them to pass on the act as payment in full."

While skimming through the headlines this morning, all sorts of horrors were reported, from the Taliban killing a young engaged couple to a 13-year old being accused of theft in Illinois. But then one link caught my eye and I read it through (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30092624/).

In this story, a team of Wyoming snow plows escorted a gentlemen through a blizzard with white-out conditions to the hospital 250 miles from his home so he could receive a long-awaited transplant. I think it wasn't so much the fact that this man finally received his transplant as the fact that several others (a 911-dispatcher, a police officer, and a WDOT boss) took it upon themselves to steer away from their job's official procedure and choose to do what they could to help a fellow human being. In today's economy, jobs are getting scarce. I can easily envision a WDOT accountant complaining that the State shouldn't have wasted the money on a convoy of plows for one man. Sadly, any of those people who helped may have jeopardized their job, and even their family's welfare, in doing so. But they did it anyway.

Too many times in our lives, we just follow the procedures. We move like sheep following one shepherd or another, but rarely the One in our hearts whose only request was to love one another. With that loving flows the incentive to help one another, reaching out to others who may not be part one group or another we proclaim ourselves to be members of, but out to another human being who shares this small blue planet with us.

I'm certain if I hunted for them, I could find other news stories like these. But I think most "good deeds" go unrecorded, best paid if we return to the favor to a fellow human being in need.

- ESA