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Road to Bethlehem
The open-backed pickup truck swerved and bounced
over the slick, uneven pavement, mercilessly jostling the passengers seated in the
back. One of Mary's hands held tight to the side of the truck-bed with a
death grip, fingers numb in the icy wind. Her other hand rested on her swollen
belly, trying to will peace and comfort to her unborn as she tried to keep
curses for travels woes from her mind - in vain. Joe looked up across the truck-bed from her. His thin coat wasn't keeping the chill from his bones; it didn't help that the zipper was long since broken. The wind tousled his hair as he reached across and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze over her womb. "Sorry about the car, Mary. Maybe we'll find someone to help fix 'er in the next town."
Mary bit her lip as tears welled in her eyes; damn these hormones! She wanted to rage about the car, the fact that they couldn't afford to get it fixed sooner, the fact that her whole life really sucked right now. Damn it! She was only 17! She should be making plans for the prom, hanging out with her friends after school, and celebrating the holdiay with family. Not this... Not alone...
But she wasn't alone. She had Joe.
Joe wasn't the father of her child; a boy her own age was. But the moment she told him she was pregnant, he dropped her like a rock. Worse, he tarred her reputation - both in school and online. Her friends all told her to get an abortion, but she couldn't. Something inside her soul treasured life too much to kill something. There WAS life inside her; she felt it move, felt the child roll over, knew when it slept. She didn't even know if it was to be a boy or girl. There were no visits to the doctor since the first trimester; there was no insurance to pay for it. Clinics asked too many questions...
Her parents tossed her out soon after the boy dumped her. They called her a slut, a whore. And a lot worse. She went to the local shelter; it was OK the first few days. Then she drew the eyes of some men there. They assumed that if she was already pregnant, it didn't matter; she couldn't conceive twice. And if she was in that position, she must be an "easy girl." She wasn't, but they didn't take "No!" for an answer...
She pushed those memories roughly aside. She had Joe now.
She looked at Joe, studying his features as he watched the winding road ahead. He was older than her, in his late twenties. She was fond of him and found herself fascinated by him.
After the shelter, Mary had wandered from place to place around Philadelphia, looking for a safe place to rest at night and collecting cans from the garbage during the day to earn money for food - a task that grew increasingly difficult as her pregnancy swelled. While she was still living "on the streets" she ran into Joe, who was in town on some business. He offered to take her in and let her stay in his spare bedroom - no strings attached, no questions asked.
And he meant that. He didn't have much himself, just a two-bedroom apartment north of Philadelphia. He cleaned out the second room which was originally used as a improv workshop. He was a woodworker by trade. During the day, he worked as a carpenter with the Allentown union, traveling all over the area on a wide range of construction jobs. When he had some time, though, he loved whittling wood into the most remarkable figurines. Some he would sell through friends at the local flea market, but most were gifts for friends and family. Mary enjoyed the room. It was warm, safe... and now the scent of sawdust and wood shavings brought her comfort.
Another hard bump sent pain shooting up Mary's spine. Damn this road! A shouted apology came from the overcrowded cab of the pickup truck. There were already three people squeezed across the bench seat; the truck owner, his pregnant wife and their small son in a car seat. Thus Mary and Joe had to ride in the back.
Given their age differences, he made no advances on Mary. She was someone in need and he was able to help - somewhat. He had little in savings. His income provided food, clothing, heat and paid the bills, but the car was old and temperamental. While he had health insurance, he could not offer any to Mary. The state would not extend Medicaid unless she divulged her personal information; Mary was adamant that she didn't want to answer all those questions - again! So, despite all his pleadings, there was no doctor to see for the sake of her child and herself. He borrowed several books from the library and they poured over the information in them for hours - together."We're here," Joe breathed as he pointed to a sign that read, "Welcome to Bethlehem."
They tried station after gas station, but there wasn't an available mechanic to be found. It was Christmas Eve after all; everyone had gone home to family.
At the last station, the truck owner shuffled his feet as he stood near Joe. "Look. I know it ain't much, but you folks can come over to our place. We haven't much, and are filled up with a houseful of guest ourselves. But we have this huge barn out back. There's a kerosene heater out there for the horses and cattle. Our guests will be willing to spare a couple of cots, and it will be quiet - and private. We'll make sure you are warm and well fed." He nodded in Mary's direction, and added more quietly, "She needs to stop for the night. We can't run around looking for hotels at this hour in this weather. We've got a snowstorm coming from the west and we both know all the hotels will be full on Christmas Eve..."
Numb with cold and the weight of the decision; Joe nodded silently.
"Alrighty then," the man punctuated the statement with a strong rap to the top of the cab's roof, "Let's go home."
Dinner was a busy, noisy crowded sensation. The man's family was large and there was a gaggle of siblings, their children, as well as their parents. Fights between bickering cousins were blocked by teenager's earbuds as they lost themselves either texting or online. Adults traded stories and recipes, laughter and tears. Many hands helped in preparing, serving and cleaning up the dinner. There was a whole separate table set up for the kids in the other room, and yet some of the diners had to take their plates over to the living room to find seating there. It was truly a full house.
Before dessert was even served, Mary was exhausted and desperately in need of some quiet. Her back hurt. Her head hurt. While the chill wore off from her fingers and toes, her fingers still held a puffyness that she frowned about. Her middle ACHED. As much as she was grateful for the hospitality, she wanted AWAY from this loud, large, noisy family.
Joe caught the look in her eyes and spoke quietly with their host. He nodded to his wife and she ran upstairs to gather the extra blankets and down-filled quilts as he led them out to the barn. The man's breath plumed in the air as the falling snow hissed around them. "We're setting you folks up in the manger. We normally open up the loft to folks, but in your condition, miss, you ought not go climbing up ladders."
"The MANGER!" Mary responded aghast. "Is that some kind of joke. I know it's Christmas Eve and all, mister, but that's a pretty bad joke."
The man paused mid-step, initially taken aback by her vehement response, blinking owlishly. But only for a moment, then he grinned as understanding dawned. He laughed easily, clearly taking it as though it were a joke on himself. "Oh. Er. No. I think you misunderstand. It's not what you think, miss."
He opened the smaller side door for them and let them enter into the barn. The scents of animals - cows and horses, fresh hay, kerosene and manure - greeted them as they entered. The man snapped the light-switch beside the door and fluorescent lights overhead glowed to life. The kerosene heater on the well-swept rocky outcropping - well away from the hay - did indeed keep the place warm despite the snowstorm outside.
"This is our manger. It's where the cows drop their calves and the mares drop their foals. Many folks think of the Nativity scene when they hear the word "manger." They think of a feeding trough. It's not, its a place for birthing. A place where new life begins!"
At that moment his wife came bustling in with some towels and scented guest soap in her arms. Behind her many of the household guests brought the cots, blankets, a folding table and other items that may make them comfortable. Even a small black and white TV with rabbit ear antenna was dragged out. Mary raised a brow at that antediluvian entertainment, much to the chagrin of Joe. He remembered his grandmother had something like that.
After the family saw them settled, they returned to the house to continue their revelries. Joe passed Mary a plate with a slice of apple pie and a warm mug of apple cider. "They seem like nice folks."
"Yeah." Mary said, too tired to hold up her end of the conversation. Still famished despite the fatigue, she popped a piece of pie into her mouth. Then the first contraction hit. *NO!*
Joe noted her panicked look and immediately dropped to her side, "What's wrong?"
"It's probably nothing."
"No. That was something. Damn. If that car didn't break down we would be home by now. Why did we have to head out today! The ride out here was probably too much for you..."
"Damn it, Joe! I said it's ---" Then her water broke, spreading across the bedspread and down her pants legs. She got up to head the toilet, thinking half-awake that her bladder suddenly gave way, but as she stood another contraction hit. She sank to her cot with a panicked look in Joe's direction. "Joe... I... I think it's time."
He took her hand with one of his, while he tried to dial 911 on his cell phone with the other. She reached for the phone. "No! No hospital! I can't afford it! No insurance! I don't want questions! I ... I can't go through all that again! Please..."
Torn with indecision, Joe got up and pulled on his coat. "I'm at least going to notify the family. We have to have some help." In a few moments, he was back with the wife and her sister in tow.
The sister immediately went to work - all business. "Now listen Mary, not only am I an EMT, I'm a midwife. We're not going to force you to go to the hospital - though I strongly suggest that you do." She paused to make sure that sunk in; Mary would not budge on her decision. "Then you need to listen to everything I tell you to do; I'll do my best to make sure you both get through this process. Now first we're going to work on your breathing; you'll need to get that down and under control very soon..."
The night was long and filled with the babble of voices and cries of pain. Cows lowed and horses whinnied in response; they knew instinctively the sounds of childbirth and the labor of love that it was. It was a strange place to deliver a baby, but in a place where other new life also began -- it seemed to be the most fitting place of all.
In the afternoon, Joe sat down beside Mary's cot. She was holding her newborn son up to her breast to feed him, reveling in the newness of it all. The feel of the milk flowing from her, the ache in her middle and birth canal, the rippling of the womb as it started to shrink, the soft warm weight in her arms, the scent of a newborn child - her child. It was all here. It was all real.
Joe kissed her on her forehead and quietly asked, "What will you name him?"
"I... I don't know."
"Well, he needs a name. He can't be called 'the baby' when he reaches school or he'll be bullied the rest of his life."
Mary chuckled gently, "I know. I just don't know what to name him. My mind is completely blank. I'm so ... tired .. but a peaceful tired. Y'know what I mean."
Joe stifled a yawn and nodded; it was a long night. "Can I make a suggestion?"
Mary looked up and met his eyes. "Sure, but I can't guarantee I'll use it."
"Deal." Joe looked away shyly and shuffled his feet and legs in the hay, settling himself more comfortably beside her cot. "My great-grandfather had an old name that ... well, it fits this kid's situation. They called him "Manny" but that was an shortening of his real name."
"Which was?"
"Emmanuel."
Mary watched Joe silently until he looked up at
her again. He was serious.He wasn't making a joke out of the situation. Mary looked away and thought quietly about it.
"It means 'God is with us.'" Joe added. "I just thought after all we've been through, after all you've been through, things still turned out OK. I found you in the city. There was enough money so we can both get by. Even when the car broke down, good people found us. They gave us a ride, helped us out, even gave us a place to stay when we had no where else to go. Even in your stubbornness of not going to the hospital - like you should have - somehow, just SOMEhow, we ended up with a midwife to help you through the delivery. There was even all the stuff you needed for a newborn HERE, because the wife is expecting too. You can't PLAN all this, even if you tried. God IS with us."
"Emmanuel..." Mary said softly, trying the name out as she gazed down at the child suckling at her breast.
The babe opened his eyes at that moment, looked up into Mary's, and smiled a beautiful smile. A trickle of milk dribbled out of his toothless grin.
Mary dabbed it with the corner of a feeding cloth the wife had given her. "Emmanuel."
The baby burbled happily.
Mary smiled with tears welling in her eyes. She looked up at Joe joyously, "I think he likes it. I really think he likes the name. We gotta use it, if he likes it. Not many kids get a say in how they're named. Right?"
Joe just nodded wordlessly and hugged Mary's shoulders.
"Emmanuel." Mary said again, turning to her babe, "God is with us - through it all."
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~ ESA
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