Comfort Zone

Recently, I've had to wrap my mind around something which caused me to evaluate myself in a whole new light. What I discovered: truth is not always a bright rainbow in a cloudless sky. Truth can make us uncomfortable. Truth can be scary. Truth can even hurt.

When I faced this, I would always run back to my comfort zone. I would turn back to that which I knew, the way I thought the world was and will always be. Then I either become lost in the lies I wrap around myself once again, or I see the wrappings as lies and they rot in my hands as I stretch them ever thinner before the truth.

Often when one says, "When we step out of the comfort zone, we grow," they speak of learning something new. Whether it it developing a new talent, making a new friend or moving to a new area, this will be true. But that statement also reflects the reality of facing the truth.

If I step away from my comfort zone, step away from the familiar untruths and face the truth, I can learn and grow. In the end, that growth far outweighs any discomfort, fear and pain I feel. Yes, I swallow hard, feel the blood pulsing through my rapidly beating heart, take a deep shaky breaths and experience the tears streaming down my face. It is not easy.

That growth makes me stronger, able to get through even greater challenges ahead and gives me what I need to help others get over the hurdle I just faced. It takes courage - a LOT of courage - and faith. I had the faith to know I was not alone as I struggled to face the truth and learn from it, change with it. That, I believe, made a tremendous difference.

What is this truth? There are many truths that will be revealed to a person in life. Sometimes many times, sometimes only once. Some know one truth but not others that are waiting to be discovered and learned from. Each provides a chance to grow inside. And many times, truth can be something very personal yet very profound.

I will admit, there are times even after I've struggled through once, that I will tend to hide in my comfort zone when I face another. It gives me smoother sailing during my day, but at night leaves me to wonder what opportunity for growth have I just let slip past. Was I too asleep in my comfort zone? Or did I give in to the fear and run hiding like a child who's afraid of the dark?

I should stop doing that. It is hard, but possible.

I know fear is used to keep me from knowing and understanding the truth - fear of what people will say, fear of what I will find out, fear of the unknown, fear of the discomfort and pain... but mostly fear that I will have to realize I was wrong! For some reason, that seems to be the most difficult for me to overcome. I can admit I was wrong. I can apologize for being wrong. But when it comes to REALIZING deep within my heart, mind and soul that I WAS wrong is very, VERY scary and can even be painful. That seems to drive me back to the comforting lies more than anything else.

And it shouldn't.

That's where my resolve to do right and be a righteous person is tested the hardest it seems. The biggest battles are often fought within the heart.

But I continue to strive, and will as long as I'm alive...
To keep stepping out of that comfort zone...
And grow.

-ESA

Public Praise - Hidden Gems

One of the things I've discovered about myself recently. If I do some good in this world, something whispers in my head that I should sing about it. There are several acts of kindness I may do throughout the day, some just small little things. Even as I write this, I'm tempted to start listing them. I even had it typed out and deleted them.

I get the impression that I should tweet about it on Twitter; that it will be a good example to others. I get the urge that I should make a video about each of the good works I do and show people how they too can help. I'm led to believe that I should blog about it, illuminating the path others could take and made this world a better place.

I will tell you why I really should NOT and - to the level best that I can achieve in my imperfect life - do not.

When one does a good work and then publically sings, displays, exhibits, demonstrates or otherwise publicizes the good work, they will get public recognition. People will join in singing their praises and mimic their works in the attempt to get a piece of that spotlight. Many will likewise do the same and get some of the star-sparkle glittering on their names as well.

But in my life, it's not the spotlight nor the star-sparkle I seek. Those are things that are not-only short lived, they are only external - of this outside world. The spotlight does not illuminate that which is within the person, just the outside face they show to the world. I seek a greater Light to illuminate my works.

When we do good works in this world, it builds something beautiful beyond words within us. But when we use such good works as a lure of the spotlight, it's like letting the air out of a tire - it deflates us. We are sparkling in the spotlight for a short time and left deflated for a much greater period of time...

Further, I will NOT buy into the belief that if one does not know my works, I will not be a good example to others. In fact, the opposite is true, one's acts shine with their own brilliance. If we seek the public spotlight, we exhibit the wrong desire and are a poor example.

Those that do things "hidden" or in small unrecognized ways, already know that their works shine. It's seen in the sparkle of the tearful eyes of one benefiting from the kindness, in the emotional tremor of a quietly spoken "thank you" or in the inner warmth one receives when they do some good and none but God knows it was by their hand.

These hidden gems are the ones that people see and realize - THIS IS A GOOD THING - without a word being spoken or a camera filming it. These shine on their own and its by their light that the true example is shown. This is a far more beautiful thing than can ever be found in this world. Hidden in the clasp of a loving hand in a lonely one, in the smile of a stranger's face, in the little act that makes someone's life a bit more easier to bear...

Where can you plant hidden gems?
Let their light shine!
Brightly.

-ESA

Distractions

It's amazing how many distractions I can find in my life if I just sit back and take the time to notice that they are there. I've had several great topics I wanted to blog, friend's emails I wanted to reply to, friends and relatives I mean to call, time I need to spend with my husband... things that should get done but gets swept away by petty, little -- and sadly pointless -- distractions.

Distractions are little things I will turn my attention to instead of that which I should do. This can be a game, sudoku puzzle, surfing the internet aimlessly, reading a book, and many other things that, by themselves, aren't bad to indulge in but do not need to be done before that which should be done.

This will most often happens when I find that which I should do as difficult or uncomfortable. The distractions bring a sense of comfort, familiarity, fun or similar feelings. For example, in writing this blog alone, I have been distracted and have:

• written a list of other ideas to blog
• loaded a program on my boss' computer
• chatted with someone
• read other people's blogs
• watched videos posted on the internet
• looked up which founding father mentioned "an armed and educated populace" is an essential thing <-- and that one took a good chunk of time
  
  
• helped my boss look for a lost wallet
• written to someone about the "armed and educated populace" findings
• further chatted with people...

You get the idea... I was even having distractions distract me from the original distractions. LOL This has taken three hours of time wherein this blog (and the others on that list) could have been done.

What's wrong with distractions (other than not getting work done)? They can mislead us from what we should do, what we should hear, what we should see, where we should be. Like a child being led away with the promise of candy and fun times, we can let the little distractions that infiltrate our activities lead us away from what we should do in this life.

Distractions are little temptations. Temptation will not come in the form of a winged devil offering you the best the world can offer and all you have to do is say yes or no. It can come in the form of tiny little distractions, procrastinations and deviations that can lead us astray, one sidestep at a time.

In the end, when we look back on our lives, what will we see? Will we see the achievements we've accomplished, the good that we've done, the people that we have helped, or will we see all the little distractions that, in the end, really amount to nothing.

When I see what the little distractions can do in my life, I see where I need to shoulder my burdens a bit better and, like a quarterback with those really big shoulder-pads, take the treasure of the goal I wish to accomplish in my arms and plunge my way through all the little distractions that try to tackle me and take me down before I can reach my objective.

The ball is in your hands now.
Will you fumble
Or score

- ESA